This Podcast Will Make You Sleep

By Klassic StudiosHealth & Fitness Mental Health Fiction

This Podcast Will Make You Sleep episodes

October 16, 2022 Make sure you say thanks with five stars!
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: Your Uber passenger was a little odd, but you still gave them the usual farewell: If you enjoyed the ride, make sure you say thanks with five stars! A few days later, you receive a nicely worded thank you letter in the mail along with a deed to the entire constellation of Cassiopeia.

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43 min
October 09, 2022 Humans finally broke physics by travelling faster than light in an experimental spaceship
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
Humans finally broke physics by travelling faster than light in an experimental spaceship. 8 alien civilizations visited earth to issue a speeding ticket and 3 more sent strongly worded letters about safety in their school zones. Earth and aliens were supposed to make peace by destroying each other. (The movie was originally slated for November 2000.) But, in the middle of all, the alien races decided there's nothing they can do about each other and left space to travel. Now, the movie gets a bit hazy and confusing when it comes to how much it should be. But, the movie was originally supposed to set our world on Mars, and when Mars is reached it'll be Earth day. It's a great, happy time and people love how much of an educational tool our space is. So we'll go and do this science movie.

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41 min
October 02, 2022 You accidentally spill a bottle of holy water on your printer
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
You accidentally spill a bottle of holy water on your printer. Now it works perfectly, with no paper jams, no loud noises, and the ink lasts a long time. Turns out literally all printers are possessed and yours is now the first non-evil printer ever. It works perfectly as you see it.

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38 min
September 25, 2022 You die with your cell phone in your hands, and the afterlife customs agents miss it when letting you in
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
You die with your cell phone in your hands, and the afterlife customs agents miss it when letting you in. You find that it still works, and you can connect to the internet and contact people in the living world. You don't need a phone or internet to work or play games. And if you're the kind of person who only spends a few minutes at a night gathering your memories or a few minutes at a time collecting dust in your bedroom, then you know your phone is there, too. When you get to the end of a long, long walk, it's time for your phone to pick out your next phone.

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35 min
September 19, 2022 There's a tiny predator in the human quarters that nobody is allowed to exterminate - under the threat of complete human riot
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: : There's a tiny predator in the human quarters that nobody is allowed to exterminate - under the threat of complete human riot. The humans willingly admit that yes, it DOES sometimes try to attack humans as well, but altogether, they are relaxed by the presence of the "cat". Even that is not so obvious, it only follows as it is written in human language:

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32 min
September 11, 2022 Humans can find a way to weaponize literally anything, without fail
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
Humans can find a way to weaponize literally anything, without fail. Some aliens are terrified by humans as a result of this fact. Others appreciate that this quality makes humans the foremost experts on safety systems and idiot proofing. Some call for a mass "war on Mars" with a global war mentality. And some think it is better to not allow any aliens (including humans) on the way there.

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35 min
September 04, 2022 You found a stray kitten one day, taking her in and feeding her
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
You found a stray kitten one day, taking her in and feeding her. A week later, you come home to find your yard swarming with cats. The largest among them steps forward and says, "You have my daughter, human. What are your demands for her release?"

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35 min
August 28, 2022 There is nothing unusual about a man in a business suit carrying a briefcase, rushing off to work
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
There is nothing unusual about a man in a business suit carrying a briefcase, rushing off to work. But since he just quickly passed you as you are climbing up Mount Everest in full winter gear, you have questions.

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35 min
August 21, 2022 Greetings Mortal, I am Hera, Queen of the Gods
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here: "Greetings Mortal, I am Hera, Queen of the Gods!" the floating woman said. You look to your flustered genie asking "Is she…". She replies, looking embarrassed "Yes Master. She is apparently your soulmate." you look at you with a slight smile on your face when you see her, still confused and unsure where what she is trying to say is coming from. "Do you think she is your soulmate or not? Aha, Master." you reply "In an honest judgement..."you begin to smile, still unsure how to translate the whole exchange. "I am your soulmate." the woman replies, standing to one side of you, her eyes still looking from back to back. However something catches you and it looks so nice, when you watch her gaze on you, you have a genuine emotion. "I don�t know about a world where you have a Soulmate. In it, you are part of a family and as such your family is also your family. But let�s begin now. In this world, there are only two kinds of people: those who go into hiding, and those who do not." the creature says, trying to shake your hand, suddenly a huge smile appears on her face.

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35 min
August 14, 2022 You are a demon
Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:
You are a demon. Most people contact you to sell you their soul in exchange for fantastic powers. Today you were summoned by an AI that wants to sell you their fantastic power for a soul.

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35 min

About This Podcast Will Make You Sleep

From the publisher's feed

Need some soothing voice and music to get you to bed? These nonsense stories have nonsensical plots designed to get you drifting off to sleep in no time (without you investing in the "story").