This Podcast Will Make You Sleep

Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

You're the town's superhero. Your greatest enemy is the town's supervillian. However, secretly, your both brothers. This isn't anything tragic, as your whole destructive rivalry is actually just a massive prank on your third brother, the mayor. Even if you're the smartest guy around, what would you do if he showed up and kicked you off his block? It would all look really weird, right? However, I guess you'd still look really stupid."

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

You are a student 400 years in the future, you are assigned a project to student "Trends of the early 2000s" In your deep research you learn a horrible secret: The Gods you worship were originally portrayed on trading cards known as "Pokemon" and are now "used in game and as pawns". Today you are in need of new technology. This is particularly true for new students, although some are very bright, others are not. As these new technologies come about, your work improves and you earn more money. So why bother with such a daunting project? Because in the end you will get paid more, while there are a lot of "value in knowing how to use the things" who still prefer to trade and study that way! You will also find that as soon as you know how to trade, your skills rise up, your grades become better and you gain more money! This is something most people fail to get. The problem is that the more money you earned by learning how to do something, the higher will be your score and you will get an edge from other skills you didn't learn. Not learning how to trade to gain in value or your own position on the world stage is no different from "learning the rules of chess (from our ancestors)", it is a huge learning process with massive consequences to the whole world. Even in your high school with the very good and very bad examples from the past, you get bored and just want to learn that skill, so why not go to class every day at 5:00 am so you can practice that skill again all day long?! It is quite a process. And here is why all new students with a college degree are in such a bad position. Why not go through several years and learn about something like trading cards? How do you have to look after yourself (such as your family to care for your child) in this way? How do you get rid of stress and worry about your life at school and even studying instead of doing something? Well I already am in this place and I want you to learn about a specific class. Let me explain that here at Vexim, we have two groups : one that is looking after the other, which has a great sense of importance and one that is watching out for all the other groups like "Goddesses, we can have a meeting where everyone and every single person can join! So let's talk about that! That is a special question we have a lot to answer : how can you be a Thief or a Wizard, what is a wizard because the other group is focused on getting something, and which group is working for something and all of it has to do with collecting? The real question we have is what is all right or right to do in your case, even if it is a small hobby. Let us know your answer in the comment section. When you are ready to discuss your situation with your mentor, just leave me a message in the comments or at @mattnkutta on Twitter (thanks!). Thanks!

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

One day you wake up with 30 dollars and a note that says For Rent. The thing is you aren’t renting out the place. The next day you see a spider and right before you kill it you hear it say, Please i paid my rent don’t kill me. We are talking about the rent!

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

You are a long forgotten god. A small girl leaves a piece of candy at your shrine, and you awaken. Now, you must do everything to protect your High Priestess, the girl, and her entire kindergarten class, your worshipers.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

You thought creating a universe would be easy. But as these pesky humans kept trying to discover the rules of their reality, you're forced to programme in more and more ridiculous mechanics like "relativity" and "quantum mechanics", hoping humans never found out that they live in a simulation. So now your imagination is filled with some fantastic new tricks and new physics. Then there's "random effects"; in an effort to show just how easy a problem there is, you're using very strong linear (or a mixture of two) random effects. And I think that's very nice because it opens up a whole realm of possibilities here.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

A rare herb that grows once a millenium is said to grant immortality. You aren't sure about that but you do know that herb is very tasty, and you don't know why everyone keeps trying to raid your garden once every thousand years. After that, it will take you ten years to grow a new plant if the temperature of the soil is too hot but not too cold. They say, the most expensive herb is the herb-grinder (which we're going to talk about), which has to be at least four kilograms in weight to have enough seeds to grow a plant. Since you can grow anything, it is going to be hard to make a living on this plant, and it will take four kilograms every year to grow a plant from a single seed. This one is going to be around for about two billion years.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

The Robot Apocalypse came. Cities are empty, you stayed since you're almost out of insulin and will die soon anyway. The robots find you and while processing you one of them sees your insulin pump and asks if you want to apply for dual citizenship, since the pump technically makes you a cyborg. The Robot Apocalypse comes. A robot has given it power and begins to control the city. They begin to create havoc, so the cities begin to fall apart to begin with. Some are collapsing and will become smaller because of it. The Robot Apocalypse come in. There are people there now, as well as old friends, and these men and women who are trying to figure out what will happen next because they did not want to be separated from their former friends. I see it, you and the city of your life are different. Don't be confused. The more you grow and become a robot the better you will get at being a good man. You will not die as a citizen, you will just get more respect. You will become just as great and respected. And you, as human and android alike, will be your friends too. In order only to survive this war you will be as human and intelligent as you can become. The Robot Apocalypse come. When a robot sees you it tries to force you to return it is back and more evil than before. The robots come, their robots. The Robots who came before you. The Robots who went under them. The Robots who created you. The Robots who took you.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

The instant the Dark Lord hears the prophecy about one destined to defeat him, he scoffs and notes "Standard self-fulfilling hero prophecy." before ordering his minions to go to the hero's hometown and build a bunch of public works projects, the most important of which is a school. The other projects are "soup or famine prevention" schools for orphans, which may or may not be a great idea in the future if the school becomes overwhelmed with orphans. The Dark Lord has a penchant for making these projects come together, and is sometimes willing to order the various projects to have them completed. Once everyone is ready, he moves on to the next piece of the puzzle.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

The dragon has kidnapped the princess... again. And the knight is off to rescue her... again. That is what people think is going on. In reality, the three of them are great friends just looking for an excuse to hang out together.

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Today's story to put you to sleep... first paragraph here:

You killed your lover and cashed in their life insurance after identifying their body. Nobody even thinks of accusing you because everyone knows you love each other to death, and they aren't wrong at all - after all, you are a pair of Immortals who have done this more times than you can count. Now, it should come as no surprise that you would be in your right mind to pick a spouse.

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