This week your LRB hosts are all under the weather in different ways, but we’re soldiering on to bring you the TBTL week in review. We’ve got a plethora of topics, including duplexing tips from Missy Elliott, new fall menu items for McDonalds, and an existential question about whether life is worth living without the noodles. Bobby ran himself into a froggy state (complete with sound effects), Meredith developed a new criterion for Airbnb reviews, while Ann had a very important houseguest. Plus, getting trapped in Canada, how nasal spray is like love, and French dip snobbery. Bonus: it’s the debut of the LRB Poetry Corner!

Bobby, Ann, Hillary, Christy and Mike aren’t sure if Little Red Bandwagon can have a true river show, but they are sure they can successfully be derailed from most of their (admittedly thin) show sheet for this end-of-the-month Friday special by a message from an anonymous listener in the mailbag.

On the upshot, we did still read a bunch of listener emails, unlike some shows we know.

Plus, queso envy, wide stance jokes, a KIDZ BOP singalong, Michael Winslow-esque sounds from one host’s bo-o-dy, full immunity in Wyoming, housekeeper Christoph Waltz, Bryan Cranston in his tighty-whities, and much, much more.

And, we’re all still on Facebook.

Mike, Ann, and Hillary are back at it again with the black Chucks to recap another week of TBTL, and in between our “attaboys” to one other, we’ve got a few things we’d like to discuss. Our TBTL boys are now both off Facebook, and we agree that was probably a good decision. Luke is already rebuilding his karmic imbalance with his Live Wire fibs, and Andrew should either change the show or stop apologizing for it. We have no idea what the hell all this Petey Pablo business is about, but we’re pretty sure it isn’t worth the effort to find out. And in ridiculous business ventures, someone out there is making a mint from the sale of “deodorant crystals.” Plus, Mike’s social life is in full swing, Hillary’s husband can’t take her anywhere, and Ann already deeply regrets engaging in a discussion concerning yambag shaving.

Join the I-35 Crew: The Next Generation of Ann, Mike and Hillary as we start the show with a surprising amount of bra talk, then move on to the week in TBTL. Along with a lively debate over the seminal work of a-ha, we concoct a strategy to get the guys to Larrimah, Australia, sing the praises (sorta) of Billy Joel, and address the appropriate way to discuss suicide and mental health issues in a public forum. In SOTS news, the Tens are apparently voting against Andrew, which kind of makes us happy because we are bad people. Plus, Mike’s pulling a Reverse Belichick, Hillary had a Marcia Brady experience at the ballpark, and Ann practically died at yoga.

It’s getting towards the end of summer, and Meredith, Hillary, Ann and Mike are trying to capitalize on the days we have left. Some of us are reading our Nancy Drews on our bunkbeds at the cabin, while some are bawling our eyes out over in the Documentary Corner ™, but we all made time to check in on our lovable TBTL dummies’ latest shenanigans. Luke came out of the whole boat crash situation about as well as could be expected, which is ever so slightly irritating. The abundance of movie talk over the week leads to conversations about Far and Away-era Tom Cruise, theories about the appeal of Kubrick movies, and assurances that liking The Matrix doesn’t make you one of those creepy men’s rights dudes. And we agree that nobody needs a wiener (of any kind) on their clothing. Plus, Mike wants to know if there are actual doctors in Bellingham, Ann is cautiously optimistic over how Song of the Fall is shaping up, and Hillary’s ready to start her retirement fantasy life of playing nickel slots at the casino. Oh, and if anyone asks, Meredith is a resident of Wyandotte, MI.

Our TBTL friendos spend a lot of time talking about their daily lives, so it’s no surprise that their animals are part of the fabric of the show. But what about the furry friends who came before? Ann and Christy decide it’s high time to take a look back at two TBTL pets of yesteryear: Luke’s cat Pagoda and dog MoMo. We debate whether Pagoda’s dignity is eroded by being forced to use the toilet and then listen to Luke abandon his dignity when he chooses not to. MoMo has some issues (and an affinity for a specific piece of floor covering). Luke is apparently less scary than a Mexican floor installer, but only slightly. As far as our own animals go, Christy has a pet history littered with tragedy, while Ann “trained” an amazing circus hamster. Then we spend way too much time talking about the Empire Today carpet guy and the new computer-generated Peanuts characters. Plus, the eternal wisdom of Bonnie Raitt.

Pontiac Bobby, Subaru Meredith and  Camaro Mike (or is that Camero Meke?)  recap the last two weeks of TBTL Car Talk episodes with approximately the same level of effort and care Luke and Andrew (and Kevin and Genevieve) put into them. Plus, find out why Bobby used to burn through D batteries, Mike missed his senior yearbook picture, and Meredith (apparently) haaaaaad to suck on a tube in an old Mercedes. (Don’t Google it.)

Oh, and Bobby bought a house.

It’s a special episode of the show as the Little Red Bandwagon (minus Mike) is hanging out in the disgusting, ugly, dumb city of Seattle. After a fun evening with the Wagoneers at Gas Works Park, we’re spending the next day at the lake, and manage to squeeze in a quick debrief of all the fun. Then we go along with the ladies on their Singles tour around the city, which includes conversation about music, Matt Dillon’s fashion, and movie trivia, plus a little light stalking. Additionally, there’s boat cake, pickle talk, and a visit from a surprise guest.

On this Final Friday in July, Hillary, Christy, and Ann are getting together to sort through the mailbag, talk about potential Burbank boat names, and discuss a few of our most memorable summer vacations. Some quality Throw Your Phone™ entries from the Wagoneers get us thinking about how Mike has ruined things, planning to ambush Luke with a syringe (it’s for his own good! And listener Scott’s sanity!), and dabbling in unfortunate accents. In vacation talk, Hillary’s semi-wild teenage cruise leaves us questioning her claim of being a goody-goody, Christy has more vacation horror stories than any one person should have, and Ann explains why she hates the Badlands of South Dakota. In camp experiences, one of us lived a teen girl's dream, one of us yearned for something that was not to be, and one of us depended on MTV for her summer entertainment. Plus, a new purpose for some of our Amazon purchase kickbacks, and some very important news about Tate Donovan.

Repeat after me: “Charge it to the room.”

Unlike Luke’s boat, Hillary, Bobby, Ann and Mike are firing on all cylinders, and are ready to co-captain a two-hour pleasure cruise through the latest week of TBTL. Because this week, we are all Jerrys. (The only person happier than us is probably Kevin O’Brien.)

Plus, Mike tells his Credit Card Debt Silver Lining Alert™, Ann shares her recent kitchen scare (don’t worry, the cookies for the picnic are OK), Hillary seems a little too happy to be down a kid for the week, and Bobby channels a hybrid of Phyllis Fletcher and Rap Master Maurice.

Some additional notes:

• COME TO THE PICNIC on Friday!
• Check out this chiropractor commercial by Rhett & Link if you can handle the pops and cracks.
• Check out Crime Writers On for actual discussion of the S-Town lawsuit
• Check out Hit Parade because it’s awesome
• We love you, Kathleen!