Thoughty Auti - The Autism Podcast

Is Dissociative Identity Disorder real and can people fake it? How does DID develop? How is DID related to BPD and PTSD?

@N0trixx is a dark trap artist and music producer seeking to share her stories to contribute to awareness of Dissociative Identity Disorder and mental illness. With a multitude of different creative talents, N0trixx not only dabbles in the dark side of life, but she's also experienced it, which is reflected in her modeling, graphics, and of course… her music.

N0trixx Links - https://linktr.ee/n0trixx  // My Links - ⁠https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK⁠ [https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK]

Thomas starts off the episode by sharing his experience of once believing he had multiple identities, something he later understood as a product of Autistic Alexithymia. N0trixx gives us a brief overview of how Dissociative Identity Disorder can occur, before diving into the more relatable aspect of DID… dissociation. Thomas explains the two types of dissociation which are depersonalisation and derealisation, something very common to the autistic experience of shutdowns and even during moments of alcohol intoxication.

N0trixx takes us through her DID journey, starting at the earliest traumatic event in her teenage hood, and how her emotionally repressed home environment forced her to bury her negative emotions away. Shifts between DID alters were initially a well-oiled machine, but after years of repression of her 'dark' alter another traumatic event triggered a full switch. N0trixx was the identity that took control for the first time in a long time.

Originally a pragmatic and conscientious Wall Street investment banker with a well-established social network and family… N0trixx soon found herself deep within another woman's life. Finding passion and drive in creative writing and music, something contrary to her other alters personality and skills. Leaving her successful job due to lacking the skills/knowledge required, she pursued her creative endeavors and started the N0trixx project to raise awareness of DID.

Throughout numerous attempts by family and friends to remedy her situation and dismiss her diagnosis… specialists and Doctors only confirmed her diagnosis of DID. The two end on speaking about the stigma around DID as a diagnosis, mainstream representation in films like 'Split', cases of using DID to avoid criminal charges, and alleged online 'fakers'.

If you believe people are faking DID online, it's either likely that they are doing so for their own recovery journey, want to raise awareness, or have a complex diagnosis of Munchausen's Syndrome. It's best not to air opinions on the legitimacy of their diagnosis unless you are a licensed professional with an awareness of their psychological records. You could be contributing towards a stigma that already impacts those with DID on daily basis, or be harassing someone with a variety of other complex issues and mental illness.

Whether you believe in DID or not, the two share some eye-opening facts and comparisons that may shift you to the former.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5]

Interview me, 1:1 Autism c

How can you develop yourself as an autistic adult in a neurotypical world? Should you take advice from the general media or even close ones? How can you craft a life and persona that reflects your dreams or ideals?

Nathan Hall (@ThePhysioBox) is an ex-professional Taekwondo fighter, NHS high-security hospital ward worker, and physiotherapist based out of Manchester, UK. With a master's degree in strength and conditioning and a flair for lifestyle coaching, Nathan seeks to share his knowledge of sports with the world.

Nathan's Website - ⁠https://www.thephysiobox.net/ [https://laurenmelissaellzey.com/] // My Links - ⁠https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK⁠ [https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK]

This podcast episode is filled with useful lessons for Autistic adults who are struggling to move forward with their lives and manage the expectations of the neurotypical world held against them.

Nathan Hall describes his journey to an Autism and ADHD diagnosis in his early 30s, and the two bond over their mutual experiences with the world of martial arts. Nathan started his athletic journey at the young age of 5, quickly finding a special interest in the sport and an attraction to the merit-based social landscape of Taekwondo training and competition. He was a part of the 2nd cohort of professional Taekwondo fighters in the United Kingdom and received numerous decorated medals throughout his life.

The two contemplate the difficulty of understanding your traits as an individual with a dual diagnosis (AuDHD), and how these labels can be used as support from the medical system, but also a source of identity and validation for many people. Thomas raises how the social systems and norms in place can make it difficult to advocate for your needs and succeed in life as an autistic person.

Nathan is a big advocate for self-employment, touting the autistic experience of hyper-focussing on subjects of interest as a useful way to specialise within the working world. The conversation around the importance of knowing yourself and having a clear goal in life provided insight into how a growth mindset allows you to craft a life and an outward persona you feel best represents who you are.

They talk about managing relationships with neurotypical individuals, highlight the common phase of 'hating neurotypicals' that many autistic people experience due to negative school experiences… and also how the traps that come with trusting and assuming the best intentions can end badly. Thomas describes shades of grey involved with all aspects of life, and how rigid life outlooks or mottos can be very ineffective for the complex experience of life. 

They end on an inspirational and validating conversation about how socially set milestones, social expectations, and social media can warp your view of what you should be achieving at different ages in life. It can often feel suffocating, demoralising, and pressuring to fit into the molds others prescribe to us… often these can stop us from living life at our own pace and creating the beginning of our own success stories in life.

We see the athletes on the podium, hear the successful speakers/entrepreneurs, and get the impression their life has been perfect, with no lows, no boring/difficult months of training, and with general life success… but that's not the case and it's ok not be at your 'peak' n

Can stimming be harmful? What are examples of Autistic stimming? Does everyone stim?

TW - Self-injury, Meltdowns

Lauren Melissa Ellzey (@Autienelle) is a popular Instagram influencer (85k followers), author and self-advocate focussing on autistic-centred coping strategies. With a neutral-positive attitude towards Autism, Autienelle hosts the yearly RED Instead Instagram livestream during World Autism Awareness Day which provides a space to those overwhelmed and saddened by media or campaigns propagated by certain Autism organisations.

Autienelle's Website - https://laurenmelissaellzey.com/ // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

They kick off the episode diving into Autienelles RED Instead livestream event and quickly dive into the world of gaming. Autienelle talks about their new venture into the world of Twitch streaming, focusing on the game Stardew Valley and chatting about everything Autism.

Stimming is a repetitive, self-soothing action that receives a lot of stigma and shame from parents, professionals, autistic adults, and the wider online communities. Its primary use is for regulating emotion, be it positive or negative, and isn't to be confused with sensory joy. Autienelle takes us through the 8 senses and offers different examples of autistic stimming, as well as combinations through multi-sensory stimming.

Thomas Henley and Lauren Melissa bond over their mutual love for vestibular (balance) and proprioceptive (body awareness) stimming, something that is very common, but not well known about. The two theorise about how autistic hypersensitivities and hyposensitivities may influence which stims people do to regulate, and which ones may provide sensory joy.

Under the surface, sensory systems are even more complex than just visual or just vestibular; each sense has different aspects to them, and different types of nerves for separate functions. The complexity of these systems and the individuality of each autistic person lend to a very different sensory profile but also preferred stimming methods.

Diving into the deep end, Thomas talks about his experience with harmful stimming and self-injury during his adolescence. Autienelle highlights the importance of being aware of or logging different stims that are common to each situation and emotional state. Understanding your stims can be an eye-opener for how autistic people express emotions externally, allowing others to focus on these signs rather than indirect communication like facial expressions, tonality and body language.

They end the podcast talking about the common reservations people have around stimming, whether it's fear of attention, anxiety, learned suppression, or shame… but stimming can be big or small, and there are many options for stimming which can be used in public or private spaces.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

Are emotions felt differently in Autistic people? What is Code Switching? Is logic superior to emotion?

Paul Micallef (Autism From The Inside) is a popular autistic creator, speaker, and coach on YouTube, recently becoming the largest Autism-related channel at 238k subscribers in March 2023. Born out of Melbourne Australia, he seeks to make Autism education and personal development more accessible to autistic individuals, their partners, parents, and professionals.

Paul's Links - https://autismfromtheinside.com.au/ // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Thomas starts the episode by diving into Paul's history, making his mark on YouTube with a charity video where he shaved off his signature dreadlocks. Autism From The Inside explains the strange rise in social invitations, conversations, and connections during his dreadlock phase… the two share a similar experience, with Thomas' story of improving his fashion sense, grooming, and physique.

Many autistic people believe logic is KING, especially when compared to seemingly illogical emotions. Thomas and Paul share that they tried to think their way into understanding the social/emotional aspects of life through careful observation from the sidelines… realising that many people do things that feel good, just for the sake of feeling good, and not necessarily following contemplation by weighing up the pros and cons!

Emotional needs are difficult to meet as an Autistic person, with Alexithymia, social issues, and a lack of cognitive empathy… it's easy to see why we tend to focus on logic and 'blanket approaches' to dealing with negative emotion. The two agree that socialising is the primary way most humans go about managing complex emotions and events, making it difficult for autistic people to meet those needs independently.

Autism From The Inside explains the concept of Code Switching, whereby complex social interactions with neurotypicals can be navigated through learning about our cognitive/emotional differences and finding ways to relate to and socialise successfully with neurotypicals. Whilst navigating neurotypical communication is useful for daily life, workplaces, and socialising, Thomas highlights that there are a lot of situations where neurotypicals can and should meet us halfway.

Paul talks about the utility of fast emotional VS slow logical thinking, and how many autistic people will run into issues with executive functioning, social anxiety, and overwhelm when they don't use their emotional brain for smaller tasks.

They end their podcast by speaking about the strange positive of Alexithymia in crisis situations, but also the issues when it comes to placing boundaries, building verbal trust, and navigating the social world.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

How does Neurodiversity impact creativity? What negative life experiences come from DID, ADHD, Autism, and Dyslexia? Why does music have a positive effect on mental health?

TW: Mental illness, Loss, Addiction

The Neurodivergent Crew is a collection of four neurodivergent artists who seek to express their neurodivergence and life stories through music. N00trix is a dark trap artist and producer, 12-Gauge is a rap artist, FMA is a metal vocalist and Dreadn0ught is the man behind their beats.

In this special group episode, Thomas interviews these four guests about their life stories, their music background, and how creativity has brought a positive influence on their lives.

NDC Links - https://linktr.ee/neurodivergentcrew // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Thomas starts off the episode by introducing the guests and diving into their music background: FMA used to perform live metal music on stage, but found that his son 12-Gauge had taken a shine to rap music; they started living together and talk about their first father-son duo experience at 12-Gauges young age of 15. A previous drummer, Dreadn0ught was introduced to the group whilst studying media at University, and N00trix was the final piece in the puzzle. N00trix contacted the triple over Instagram, instantly finding common ground and providing a production role to bring in the group's talents together.

Diving into their personal history, N00trix explains the defining moment where her personality split in two through Dissociative Identity Disorder (commonly termed as multiple personalities). She explains how the stigma of the disorder separated her from her family and previous life, but also ignited her passion to share her more pessimistic and dark outlook on life… through music.

FMA talks about his experience with a very late Autism diagnosis, as well as his experience with addiction and rehabilitation through his 20s and 30s. His son 12-Gauge, explains the impact that undiagnosed Dyslexia and bullying had on his school experience and his own self-confidence. He was fortunate to have FMA as a father figure, allowing him to dodge the addiction traps his father succumbed to in his youth. Thomas bonds with the two on this due to his history of alcoholism and exercise addiction.

Dreadn0ught opens up about his experiences with ADHD, stating that it was important to know for his own understanding, and not necessarily therapy. Plunging into deep mental illness and addiction following his friend's passing at University, he remarks on the existential loneliness he experienced at University.

With all the experiences discussed, they finish by talking about the impacts their individual neurodivergencies had on their music career in the present day. This is undoubtedly a big dive into Neurodiversity, as well as all the many strings that connect them together and what the crew to brought them into the music scene… I hope you enjoy it!

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

Why are Autistic people more likely to develop an Eating Disorder? What is Interoception and how does it link to Autism?

TW: Mental health and eating disorders

Livia Sara (@Livlabelfree) is a late-diagnosed Autistic coach, writer, and podcaster. Specialising in helping individuals reframe labels and identity to help them process and recover from their eating disorder. Liv has two books in the making, one being a Neurodivergent-focused cookbook 'Nourishing Neurodiversity' (released 21/02/23) for helping people nourish their body and mind in a simple and delicious way (see link.tree below).

Liv's Links - https://www.livlabelfree.com/links // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Thomas kicks off the episode with a nod to Valentine's day before a swift transition to Liv's background; Livia opens up about her experiences with Anxiety, Depression, OCD, and Anorexia through her many years in and out of the medical system. She found that Autism was the missing element in her recovery journey, causing her to actively fight back against assumptions of 'Eating Disorder Behavior' by ignorant Psychologists. 

Labels are a common topic within the Autism space, but Liv claims that labels around eating disorders can be restrictive on growth. Addiction becomes a habit and eventually a part of your identity, and once it's there it can be hard to separate from. Liv explains how her ED label was a source of certain comfort, a part of who she thought she was, and something that required a lot of uncomfortable change to distance herself from it and recover.

They talk about the issues around BMI, BMR, and Somatotypes in the medical and biological realms before moving on Autism and Eating Disorders. It seems that a few factors may be responsible for the high occurrence rates, Interoception, anxiety disorders, vagal nerve function, routine, aversion to change, literal interpretation, and ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder).

Thomas and Liv debate the legitimacy of professionals without an open-minded approach, trust in clients, and input from lived experience. They talk about their own personal journies through healthcare, touching on the important qualities to look for in a good therapist, and leaving on some practical changes they would like to see in the future.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

What reasonable adjustments can you get in the workplace? Why do we have a Deficit Model? How can you advocate for your needs?

Carrin M. Gilmore (@letstalkaboutautism [https://www.instagram.com/letstalkaboutautism/]) is an Autism advocate offering Advocacy Accommodations sessions and support for parents and their children in developing IEP (Individual Education Plans). Working closely with Carole Whittington at Mind Your Autistic Brain, Carrin and the team seeks to bring greater inclusivity in the workplace, help neurodivergent couples connect on a deeper level and support neurodivergent individuals in their unmasking journey.

Carrin's Links - https://linktr.ee/CarrinMWAut // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Originally an English teacher, Carrin seeks to bridge the gap between deficit models in the workplace and person-centred models in education. They talk about the various accommodations one can expect in the workplace, one of which is being fired (yes... you read that right, it's actual advice for workplaces!).

Thomas and Carrin paint a picture of the individuals who deal with the hand they are dealt in the workplace, highlighting the daily issues with energy, sanity and time management that could be avoided with accommodations. The system works using a Deficit Model, rather than a Strength-Based Model, providing cookie-cutter, blanket solutions for each and every individual - but needs are a spectrum.

Thomas raises the common charity-based thinking around employing Autistic people, with both offering their takes on the benefits these individuals have for businesses... beyond 'charity'.

Carrin lists some common adjustments: Work coaches, giving adequate processing time, clear and concise language, lists/bullet point instructions and CLEAR lines of communication for certain issues. However, these are NOT mandatory and even if they are met, positive adjustments offered the clearest path for Thomas' long-term employment success.

At the end of the day, the employment rates for autistic people are depressing at least, but there are gems out there who are willing to go the extra mile for their employees who are willing to work with them cooperatively and with the understanding that support is a two-way street.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

*TW: This episode contains discussions of PTSD, and the frequent conversation on traumatic events - listener discretion is advised*

Are Autistic people more sensitive to c-PTSD? How is PTSD treatment different for Autistic individuals? What's the difference between PTSD and c-PTSD?

Dr Megan Neff (@Neurodivergent_Insights) is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice (USA, Oregon) working with neurodivergent adults focusing on neurodiversity-affirming assessments and psychotherapy. Megan gained 100k+ followers on Instagram with her unique content on misdiagnosis, highlighting the overlap between neurodiversities, but also with her comprehensive workbooks through the Patreon platform.

Megan's Links - https://linkin.bio/neurodivergent_insights // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Diagnosed at 37 with Autism and later with ADHD, she felt encouraged to explore her own neurodiversity following the diagnosis of her daughter. Thomas and Megan touch on the overlap between these two neurodiversities, and how individuals can be thought of as ADHD or Autism dominant depending on their presentation. For Megan, ADHD was hard to spot due to her lifestyle being based around her special interests.

Dr Megan Neff starts by giving us a comprehensive list of PTSD criteria and the complex world of c-PTSD... highlighting how autistic individuals often don't meet certain criteria around significant traumatic events, and how the fear response related to PTSD can be amplified by our neurology. Megan describes how c-PTSD can be developed, talking about how existing chronically unsafe environments during childhood could sensitise the fear centre of the brain (amygdala).

Touching on Philosophy and existential crisis, the two theorise about why Autistic people are more prone to these '4th wall break' experiences. Megan goes on to tell us about the disparity between PTSD and Autism statistics, and how this leads to a wide estimate of PTSD occurrence among the autistic population - even in the lowest conservative estimations, autistic individuals are at least 10x more likely to develop some form of PTSD.

Dr Neff points to a few reasons why autistic people are more likely to develop PTSD: Higher rates of victimisation, more reactive nervous systems, higher emotional and sensory sensitivity, as well as stronger and longer cortisol responses (stress hormone).

Thomas inquiries about the treatment options, highlighting the issues around medication and neurotypical-focussed psychotherapy - they talk about possible therapy, medication and alternative treatments like Biofeedback, Vagal Nerve Stimulation, EMDR and Personal Family Systems work.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

What is it like to be an Autistic woman? What are the signs of Autism in girls? What is dating like for an Autistic woman?

Taylor Heaton (@taylor_heaton_ [https://www.instagram.com/taylor_heaton_/]) is the owner of the popular Autism YouTube channel Mom On The Spectrum which is closing on 40k subscribers at the time of recording. Taylor also coordinates peer support groups and does group and 1-2-1 coaching with Autistic clients across the globe.

Taylor's Links - https://linktr.ee/Hikihttps://linktr.ee/momonthespectrum // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Diagnosed at 31 with Autism, as well as ADHD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Taylor goes into the reasons she started her YouTube channel and how being open on the internet helped her accept and explore her own diagnosis.

They kick off the conversation they dive deep into their experiences at high school, being overachievers and subject to bullying in school, they talk about the manipulation and social harassment they experienced from neurotypical women in their schools. Taylor explains the issues around puberty, particularly the emotional, hormonal and physical changes to women's bodies that can really aggravate someone sensory-wise. 

Mom On The Spectrum talks about her experience of social expectations as a woman in Texas, being expected to host, cater and open her house to people in the area - something I think many Autistic people would find overwhelming. She goes on to talk about the tendency of other women to gossip about others, and how uncomfortable it made her feel to be a part of it.

Maintaining friendships and relationships can be a difficult task for many autistic individuals, especially with a neurotypical partner who doesn't understand the ins and outs of Autism. Thomas and Taylor highlight the issue of managing your own social battery with the needs of people in their lives.

Neurodiverse relationships and dating provide a whole host of difficulties... struggling to navigate flirting, reading cues of interest, managing physical touch needs and double empathy. They both agree that all relationships require lots of communication, but neurodiverse relationships may require a lot more work from both sides.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, public speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]

Should you disclose your autism in online dating? What is it like to date as an autistic person? Why and how was Hiki created?

Jamil Karriem (@HikiApp [https://www.instagram.com/hikiapp/]) is the owner of an Autism dating app called Hiki, released in July 2019. Featured in a Forbes magazine, Jamil was inspired to create the dating app when his Autistic cousin expressed difficulty in finding friendship and love. Within the episode, we talk all about his creative spin on the co-produced design of this autism dating app and how he's created a dating app for autistic people, designed by autistic people.

Hiki's Links - https://linktr.ee/Hiki // My Links - https://linktr.ee/thomashenleyUK

Kicking off the conversation they talk about their workplace experiences and changes during the pandemic, as well as the importance of interpersonal relationships for autistic individuals. With a background in sociology research, Jamil explains the reality facing many autistic people - loneliness, isolation and significant mental health issues. Self-reported success rates in dating and making friends seems to be highly concerning.

Thomas mentions what his experience of online dating has been like as an autistic man and how apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge can be difficult to navigate. Through a lot of community-based service design and a team made up of 80% Autistic adults, Jamil believes Hiki is the solution.

Jamil's role as a neurotypical CEO is to empower his team and community to design and run the Autism dating app, taking a backseat and supporting his co-workers to make change happen. He believes that diversity in an organisation is important for adding to the melting pot of ideas, solutions, and experiences... and he is right, but only when the business is inclusive and supportive of all its employees.

The contrast between 'real life' and online interactions can be very jarring and complex to understand. Men in general tend to struggle due to the volume of male users on these apps, but they can inspire plentiful levels of self-doubt. Autistic people may struggle much more in understanding the complex world of online dating, whether to disclose your autism upfront or pick up on the signs someone is dangerous.

Hiki seeks to be different to mainstream dating apps, providing a safe space for community, friendship and love. Inclusive to all genders, non-binary individuals, LGBTQA+ members and much more... Jamil celebrates each and every success story emailed in. Hiki also seeks to further improve the user experience for autistic people in the future, allowing them to feel comfortable in experiencing all aspects of social life.

Song Of The Day (Listen Here) - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UDIyN5TSYN4zMcRoQPrG8?si=9255ed3480d840b5

Interview me, 1:1 Autism coaching, Public Speaking for events, workplace training  - https://www.thomashenley.co.uk [https://www.thomashenley.co.uk/]