As we prep Theme Month, Emily and Spencer have joined me to let people know what's coming up: This year's theme: Hallmark's Weirdest Loglines! What one-sentence descriptions of a made for TV Christmas romance has us saying "Wait... how is that a thing?"

In our second emergency episode, as we prep theme month, Robbie and Brian do a scholarly reading of a VHS Ninja Turtle Christmas carol show. Do we compare it to Joseph Campbell's hero's journey? YOU KNOW WE DO.

Brian and Lara review "The Lion in Winter", a movie that seems to have been algorithmically generated to be perfect for us. We... Didn't love it. We feel real bad about it, though.

Colleen and Brian take you to the hottest club in New York, "Beyond Tomorrow". This place has everything. Three ghosts, a cricket player, literally soulless seductresses, drunks with guns, a radio show, strange wealthy gambling, a deposed Russian princess, and a lady who bothers God into altering policy.

Brian and Anton review "Last Holiday", a movie that is set at Christmas for no reason other than that the title already had the word "holiday" in it. Featuring a weirdly overqualified and international cast and a twist ending. But not the one you think! Which, I guess, is the whole point of a twist ending.

Flonk plays the Squid Game and pays with his sanity as we watch SOME sort of terrible sequel. Will it be "Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey" or "A Christmas Story 2". There are no winners.

Robbie and Brian look at another classic-ass classic, BUT... not a Christmas one? It's "Trading Places", the Christmas-set comedy that doesn't get thought of as a Christmas movie. Will it make the canon? What parts have aged surprisingly well? What parts have aged predictably poorly? And how many great cameos can you fit into one movie?

Tim is joining us full time, and what a welcome we have for him, with "Four Christmases", a Vince Vaughn vehicle that has nooooooo idea what it wants to be. Other than tedious, I suppose.

Emily and Brian and some real feisty cats take on The Poseidon Adventure, which is really THE iconic 70s disaster movie. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let's find out together, shall we? Featuring: Super Jacked Ernie Borgnine, Gene Hackman's Amazing Combover, and Jack Albertson: Ass Man.

Brian and Justin take a look at "Fatman", a movie that definitely got its title before Mel Gibson was cast in it. Does the movie ever follow through on any of its concepts or any of its worldbuilding? Ehhh. Does Mel get brutalized and tortured even when playing Santa? YOU KNOW IT, BABY.