This week we watch To Die For, the astonishing new film from the wildly reactionary mind of Duke's of Hazzard's John Schneider.

A green-screen, anti-teen fever dream, the movie chronicles Quint North (John Schneider), a veteran of some war, who is intent on triggering the local high school quarterback after he takes a knee during the national anthem.

Quint's Native American neighbor, Wes, is the avenue for our main character to reel off Gran Torino style racial slurs at a flag-hating libtard, but this Native American Democrat will eventually come to respect the "crazy old white man's" fight against the modern world.

Quint also faces: a daughter filing a restraining order against him on behalf of the high school, the same local quarterback threatening to kill his dog, and a young female cop who orders a vanilla latte. Will sanity prevail? Will the American flag truly be... To Die For?

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