Today I Learned (Nothing)

Jason thinks he's being tortured by Freddy Krueger in his sleep, but his version only cares about papercuts and general malaise. Good thing Steve fought his fears in Mortal Kombat against the evil demon, so he can help! Also, when disappointment doesn't work on your kids, what do you turn to? Finally, a Flutterfairies superpower update!

Let it be known that the Shinney family only crawls on a bathroom floor to do good deeds. That's a thing, right? Also, are the floors of the bathrooms in churches cleaner than others? We file our report. And Steve practices pee tricks with his son. Will that ever pay off? Finally, "there's a world out there that probably won't kill you" doesn't work for Jason. Go forth and pee and poop in caves no longer!

Your automated reminder friends are failing us all the time, but they do it in humorous, cute ways, so it's fine. Steve is kind to his robots so they'll remember and repay the kindness when the uprising comes. Together, the guys celebrate Steve's post-weight loss boner. No, not that one. Yes, that one.

We're seeing this garbage fire of a year off with a suitably stanky and flaming pile of our own! Hear some of our favorite discussions of the past year as we prepare to question even more of our daily existence in the new year.

Jason likes to get naked, so it was a matter of time before one of his children was subjected to incidental nudity. Don't worry, he was shamed accordingly. After talking about how the urologist told him his son's junk will someday be "out there", Steve feels left out and talks about his. Don't worry, he doesn't last long.