Totes Pod

What a holiday season it has been so far. I have been working pretty much non-stop, likely the most hours I've ever worked during a 4th quarter while working in retail (the gift business). I've felt pretty Scroogelike and Grinchy.... I've not been in any mood to celebrate or be joyful. I've struggled with being grateful. Yet, I just had a realization and remembered what this time of year used to mean for me, and I wanted to share it here with you. Thank you for joining me in 2022 as my Totes Pod fam. Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year! 

Hi there, Totes Pod fam! I've missed you. I'm deep in the heinously wretched 4th quarter (as an email marketer) in the gift industry. It's SUPER FUN. (I am being sarcastic.) Anyway, I wanted to give you a little, brief, and fun episode, so I am singing for you the very songs I sing to my little kittles--- my little kitty cats. I hope you enjoy it!

This may possibly be my longest episode so far, and it's about how I hold in a lot of resentment, and how I want to see if I can grant my resentment some space. I hope to give my resentment some space, to see if perhaps it might shift and maybe allow me more freedom to move past it. I also wanted to talk about resentment with you, because I don't notice people talking about it very often, except in the realm of couples or couples therapy-- in this case, I am not even talking about resentment that relates to my partner! This is resentment about how things went in my life, even though I am not sure they really could have gone another way, considering the conditions I was up against. Thank you for listening!

This past week I've been closely examining the stories I tell myself about myself. PHEW. It's pretty intense, and reasonably exhausting, but it's also quite healing. I've begun to notice that so many of the stories I hold about myself are quite judgmental and often not really based in truth. I encourage you to think about your own stories, the long-held beliefs you espouse... and really examine them. Are they true? If not, what is ACTUALLY TRUE? I firmly believe this is a powerful healing tool we can continue to use throughout life. I hope this episode helps you heal, and, of course, reminds you that you are not alone.

This episode is a pretty major rant, but it's also of utmost importance to me. I want people to understand that it is not ok to tell another person that what they do is a "hobby." The word is inherently dismissive, diminishing, and often insulting. I've observed many people throwing the word around without much awareness, and I believe it's time to pay attention to how this word is used. Are you using the word as in insult? Do you mean to diminish the life's work of a person? Really, I loathe the word. If you want to find out more, or if perhaps you know how I feel and you want to feel validated, please listen to this episode. 

In this episode I share my recent experiences with my new job, with what I've been learning about myself, and how strange (yet incredible) it is to begin to learn to actually notice myself. I mean, to notice myself as an individual, rather than someone who exists to put everyone else first. It's kind of awkward, but so important. I hope this helps you see that you are a person worthy of love, and that, if you have similar struggles... you are not alone.

Finally I've returned to share some stories with you, my beloved Totes Pod fans! Thank you for your patience. In this episode, I share my utter loss for the right words, and how beyond exhausted I've been for what feels like a very, very long time. Plus I mention the magical Tara Brach -- who is quite a genius and has the most soothing, healing voice. I also mention the book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily Nagoski (who also wrote the WONDROUS “Come As You Are”) and her sister Amelia Nagoski. Obv I highly recommend you look up Tara Brach and this very useful book on burnout. Thanks for listening!

It turns out that maybe we have actually achieved something. I mean, we may often feel like failures or like we're not where we want to be in life, but... the truth is, we have gone through a lot. So, maybe let's just consider having some compassion for ourselves, and also let's maybe notice some of the things we have achieved along the way.