Toxic

Lately, it feels like the world is obsessed with diagnosing narcissists, and for good reason. There are a lot of assholes out there. But why this word? Why this diagnosis? Just like "fitspiration" and "situationship" got their 15 minutes of buzzword fame, now it's the narcissist's turn. Except, this one's a mental health diagnosis with slightly bigger implications. Is it OK if we all play armchair psychiatrist and hand out this label at will to anyone who's self-obsessed? And are all individuals with narcissistic traits dangerous and potentially abusive? Is there any hope for singletons (aka, Jenna) to find someone who doesn't think they're god's gift?

Luckily, we found an expert to guide us through these scary times. Psychotherapist Talia Bombola, the Confidence and Assertiveness Specialist (therapywithtalia.com) co-host of The Couple's Guide Podcast and host of Heal Through Humor, and a survivor herself, is so kind as to join us today. She's got the down-low on why this word is having its heyday and the differences between those with narcissistic traits (spoiler alerts: it's all of us!) and those with narcissistic personality disorder. She even gives us (OK, Jenna) some dating advice because eff, it's cray cray out there. (Are the kids still saying that?)

It's Human Trafficking Awareness Month, which is way less fun than what we celebrated last month but still deserves our attention. We nominate Greta Thunberg for our Hero of the Year for taking down trafficker and overall douche Andrew Tate through a tweet alone that damaged his paper-thin ego so much he led police right to him (through a pizza nonetheless!). Next, we're questioning Dana White and how it's possible the president of the UFC would ever resort to violence — it's not like he's surrounded by it and promoting it 24/7. And if you want to skip all that and go to the 29-minute mark, you can hear the incredible story of Audrey Prosper, winner of last year's Purple Ribbon Award for Survivor of the Year. She not only survived her husband's murder attempt but went on to build an incredible life of advocacy by starting her own nonprofit (the National Domestic Violence Collaborative) and giving a TEDx Talk while also being a badass mama. The lengths some men will go to keep women as their property is astounding, but they underestimate our resilience every day. Audrey joins us at the end of the episode to tell us in her own words how life is going (spoiler: it's pretty darn good). Thank you for listening and if you'd be so kind as to hit that 5-star button, leave a review or tell a friend we exist, we'll make sure the universe sends some good karma points your way.

It's a brutal truth—abusive partners are the most dangerous when a victim tries to end the relationship. Nicole Sinkule was the kind of person who wanted to save everyone, so meeting a guy who was in and out of rehab for drug addiction wasn't a deterrent for her. She thought she could help him. Until, she couldn't. The night she told her parents she wanted to end things with him was also the night he brutally murdered her in her sleep. Nicole's parents, Claudia and Glenn, join Toxic to talk about their daughter's legacy and why it's so obviously effed up that they now have to spend their golden years making sure their daughter's murderer doesn't get paroled. Consider signing the couple's Change.org petition to keep a dangerous man behind bars because apparently, this is what our justice system has come to.

Ah, the dating pool. Like hell, but with cocktails. If you're in it, you know its horrors. Out of every 100 cishet male dating profiles, at least 98 are likely giving either an inkling of a future serial killer or someone holding a fish. Jenna, one of Toxic's hosts, sometimes dips her toes into said pool and then promptly jumps back out again. But along the way, she's saved some eyebrow-raising profiles for us to read together. In this episode, Amanda lends her insight to whether the deets these guys choose to share are just weird (aka, dying guy wants HJs), or if they're red flags that could indicate a risk of power, control or violence down the road. We also welcome the CEO of Garbo, a new kind of safety system founded by survivor Kathryn Kosmides who talks about turning her own horrors with dating partners into a career as a badass female CEO with a company that helps protect others from being bamboozled, or worse.

Survivor Rachel Bellesen thought she was free after escaping a horrifically abusive husband who started grooming her at just 15 years old. But his abuse never stopped, even after Rachel remarried. Even after her ex victimized other women—he still came for Rachel. In 2020, when she fought back, the courts called her the perpetrator and threatened to send the mom of two to prison for life or possibly even execute her.

According to statistics compiled by the ACLU, women who kill their partners will spend an average of 15 years behind bars, while men who kill their female partners will serve on average between 2 to 6 years. At least 90 percent of women in prison for killing men report having been abused by those men. Listen to the incredible story of Rachel's survival and ask yourself, why are women being punished every day for trying to stop abuse?

Former Playboy Mansion live-in girlfriends Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt came out with a new podcast recently, Girls Next Level, in which they walk through each episode of the reality show "Girls Next Door" that aired between 2005 and 2009. Coincidently during that same time period, Amanda may have also frequented the Mansion for parties, a period of her 20s that she looks back on slightly differently now in her 40s. In this episode, we'll unpack what the Mansion stood for back then, what Holly and Bridget say about their experience and how the man most people thought Hugh Hefner to be was far from who he was behind closed doors.

We're back! Back again. Toxic's back. Tell a friend.

One of the most toxic men of history has to be the guy we were all indoctrinated to heroicize as kids—Christopher Columbus. He sailed the ocean blue! He had three ships and we'll never forget their names! Most importantly, we were fed the lie time and time again that he discovered America. Truth is, he never even once set foot on U.S. soil and the only thing he discovered was indigenous people who already lived in Central America whom he promptly killed or enslaved. While this guy still has a federal holiday named after him, luckily, we're now beginning to recognize Indigenous People's Day (we're 500 years late, btw). Still, the atrocities he kickstarted need to be known (lest we repeat them) so won't you join us for this re-history lesson.

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." "God only gives you as much as you can handle!" Toxic positivity is positivity that's taken a wrong turn. It dismisses our true feelings, minimizes what we're going through and leaves us with feelings of guilt for being unhappy. And it's typically rooted in someone else's uncomfortableness with vulnerability. In this episode, Jenna and Amanda unpack the most annoying ways one can add a dose of toxicity into their support and give ideas for better ways to respond when someone drops bad news on us.

This episode is going to wrap up Season 2 for Toxic. Take a few weeks to catch up on any episodes you may have missed and we'll be back with Season 3 on Oct. 10. Also, don't forget to take our quickie 2-minute, 10-question survey on ToxicthePodcast.com to help us better shape the next season AND be entered to win some free merch. TIA.

The audacity of men continues with Alex Jones, conspiracy theorist who denies peddling conspiracy theories about the Sandy Hook massacre to make millions after he was sued by the grieving parents for millions more, and Andrew Tate, a random dude who realized he could get other dudes to send him money if he started spouting violently sexist bullshit on social media. This is the world we live in (wait...why are women afraid to date men?!).

Also, we talk about two missing girls, Kiely Rodni and Kadence Morrell (among many other women who are also actively missing) and why the media is only talking about one. I bet you can guess why. Their missing posters are linked on ToxicthePodcast.com.

Finally, now through Sept. 15, head to our website to enter our first-ever listener survey. Let us know your thoughts on how we're doing with Toxic and what you want to see more of. Ten questions, two minutes tops, and you'll be entered to win Toxic merch of your choice.

Enjoy this mini episode devoid of your typical a-hole-ish abusers to celebrate us making it to 50 episodes of Toxic! Get to know Jenna and Amanda, how Toxic came to be and why Jenna can't cook a pizza in an efficient manner. Thank you for your support over 50 episodes of calling out and shutting down toxic masculinity poster boys. Here's to 50 more and counting....because, unfortunately, there's no shortage.

Also, now through Sept. 15, head to our website to enter our first-ever listener survey. Let us know your thoughts on how we're doing with Toxic and what you want to see more of. Ten questions, two minutes tops, and you'll be entered to win Toxic merch of your choice.