Trader Hoes

Well, Hoes, here we are. The final-ish episode of Trader Hoes. But before we embark on our bye-atus, we took a stumble down memory lane, aided by a few drinks recommended by you and a possible Penis Truck sighting.

Thank you, Hoes, for the recommendations, the messages, the support, and just for sticking with us through the years. We couldn’t have done any of this without you. 

Until next time, #BBPP365.  

🛒 In the cart: 

• Añejo Tequila 
• Laurent Reverdy Sancerre 

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It's our second to last episode, which means there's just enough time to squeeze in a special guest appearance from the Trader Bros (aka our partners)!  It's a Hot Ones inspired showcase of Trader Joe's spicy sauces so get ready feel the (heart)burn. 

In the cart:
Incredisauce 
Tamarind Sauce 
Green Dragon Hot Sauce
Peri Peri Sauce
Chili Pepper Sauce
Jalapeño Hot Sauce
Habañero Hot Sauce 

Not in the cart, but worth considering: 
Milk 

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This week, we’re leaving it all on the table, including grandma. We tackle our InstaHoes’ savory suggestions, repay them by completely butchering their names, and walk away with a few new favorites. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Shrinky Dinks, a Trader Joe’s and Jack in the Box mashup, noods, and Katie’s love of uncooked rolled oats. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Cheeseburger burrito  
• Cascatelli Pasta 
• Italian Style Meatballs 
• Rosemary Croissant Coutons 
• Bulgogi Beef Fried Rice with Kimchi 

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It is with heavy hearts and full carts that we announce the end of Trader Hoes will be coming at the end of this month. It probably won’t be goodbye for forever, but it is ciao for now. 

We thank every one of you for tuning in each Monday and celebrating the best grocery store that ever existed with us. It’s been in incredible ride, and we’re honored you were a part of it. 

But we’re not done just yet! Another thank you to everyone who suggested some final items for us to try over the next few weeks. We’re kicking off this sunset tour with some sweet treats and one of the biggest surprises in Trader Hoes history. Not on the menu, but certainly on our minds: Katie’s diagnosis from a college professor, Paul Hollywood’s judgment, and eating a hug (that apparently has a creepy child voice.) 

Bonus: Take a shot every time Katie describes something as “elevated.”  

🛒 In the cart: 

• Chocolatey Cats Cookies For People
• Speculoos Crunchy Cookie Butter Spread
• Sesame Honey Almonds
• Chocolate Hold the Dairy Mini Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Cones
• Chocolate and Almond Croissants 

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Get your bifocals ready, Hoes. We're about to read our favorite but flawed grocery store like never before. While we may not be at RuPaul's Drag Race level, we do dig into everything from recalls to copywriting to commitment-phobia. Because after all, we've spent years supporting Trader Joe's, so a little tough love is in order.  

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Trader Joes's is bringing the heat and these Hoes are here for it. From a savory salsa to buffalo style almonds, Katie and Evie explore TJ's newest spicy items. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: extreme squeams, saguaro cacti,  and is buffalo having a moment?

In the cart:
Buffalo Style Seasoned Almonds
Guajillo Salsa
Cinna-Dragons

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The Trader Hoes put Trader Joe’s new pizza halloumi to the test and try the old Amsterdam gouda that has Bon Appetite writer, Alex Beggs talking. Get ready for a dairy fueled basket case that begs the question, why?

In the basket:
Pizza Bread Cheese
Old Amsterdam Premium Aged Gouda 

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If you’re into hugs, this episode is for you! If you’re not into hugs but are into chocolate and nut butters, this episode is also for you! If you’re not into hugs and don’t like chocolate or nut butters, well… we got nothing, but we still think you should listen. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: sleep deprivation, the beauty of marshmallow fluff, Evie’s noisy house, and Katie’s still-present hearing. 

In the cart: 

• Bamba Dipped In Dark Chocolate
• Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets
• Peanut Butter Cocoa Marshmallows

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We love finding another person as obsessed with Trader Joe's as we are. So, we were thrilled when we stumbled upon Bon Appetit's Food People episode, "Why are people so obsessed with Trader Joe's?" Though we may not have agreed with all of her superlatives, we definitely want to be Alex Beggs' best friend. After all, friends don't let friends sleep on Unexpected Cheddar. 

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Forget assorted chocolates, all the Hoes want this Valentine's Day is cheese. (Fortunately for them, Trader Joe's love language is dairy.) From the heart shaped to the meat forward, get ready for romance with a rind. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Pride and Prejudice, Lunchables and the plot holes of many (all?) rom coms. 

In the cart:

• Neufchâtel 
• Bacon Cheddar
• Spicy Buffalo Cheddar

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