Trader Hoes

The Hoes are back from Scotland and they promise not to bring up the trip 10,000 times while reviewing Trader Joe's shortbread cookies and their distant but buttery relatives.

In the cart:
Walker's Shortbread Fingers
Belgian Butter Waffle Cookies

Butter Shortbread Sandwich Cookies

All Butter Apple Shortbread Cookies

This week, The Hoes are soft-launching pumpkin season. (Yes, pumpkin spice has been out for a month, but it’s finally “fall” weather in AZ. Don’t come for us!) We’re easing the transition into Trader Joe’s favorite time of year with a few new maple faves before tackling what should be an illegal amount of pumpkin spice. Helping us along the way are seeded grapes, a minimal amount of Scotland talk, and Van Ghost. 

In the cart: 

• Maple Pancake Flavored Puffs
• Pumpkin Oat Bites
• Mini Maple Flavored Marshmallows
• Pumpkin Spiced Jo-Jo’s 

Apple may not be the Hoes’ favorite baby name, but it just might be our favorite seasonal flavor. Sorry, pumpkin! This week, Katie and Evie are biting into new(ish) Trader Joe’s apple picks and pairing them with seasonal flavor brainstorming, Evie’s weird food-texture fascinations (again), and, to Katie’s surprise, multiple types of pretzels. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Juicy Apple Gummy Candy
• Autumn Harvest Sweet & Salty Snack Mix
• Apple Pie Spread
• Apple Crisp-Inspired Milk Chocolate Caramels

The Hoes are testing out Trader Joe’s cream cheeses and questioning their identities. Will pumpkin spice reign supreme? Is Evie adopted? Find out in this very dairy episode!

In the cart:

• Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread
• Whipped Strawberry Flavored Cream Cheese Spread
• Peaches + Cream Cream Cheese Spread
• American Heritage® Cream Cheese with Chives & Onions

The Hoes are getting down and dirty with some new Trader Joe's cheese and Evie's nasal cavaties may never be the same. Neither will you once you hear Katie's take on butt vomit and mouth farts. 

In the cart:

• Pink Peppercorn Fontina Cheese
• Paulus Abbey Beer Cheese
• Walnut Gouda Cheese
• White Stilton Cheese with Apple & Pear

This week, the Hoes are raiding the snack cabinet to try Trader Joe’s latest salty, crunchy, and sweet items. They’re pairing every bite with a medical professional’s opinion of the fiber gummy worms (RIP), one hosting move that could potentially ruin the friendship, and forcing Evie to choose a favorite between her Rolled Corn Tortilla Chip children

In the cart: 

• Honey Mustard Popcorn 
• Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips with Nacho Cheese Flavoring
• Rosemary Kettle Potato Chips
• Cinnamon Sugar Tortas

We know you Hoes aren’t getting enough protein (Big Protein says none of us are), so we’re dedicating this episode to macros, convenience, and packing the most important meal of the day with maximum protein. We’re also waking up on the right side of the bed with the possibility of self-checkout at TJ’s, horrendous celebrity impressions, and hyperfixations. 

In the cart:

• Tater Bites with Cheese and Chives
• Unexpected Cheddar and Turkey Sausage Egg White Bites
• Harvest Vegetable Hash Egg White Bites
• Protein Pancakes

The Hoes are diving into Trader Joe's frozen desserts section and Katie's world may never be the same. It showdown of reimagined s'mores, butthole donuts, cannoli lookalikes and pre-workout cannelés – because that's how real athletes fuel up before spin class.

In the cart:

• Cannelés
  S'mores Bars
• Mini Cheesecake Cones
• Raspberry Filled Donuts
  

This week, the Hoes grab their spoons and take a nostalgic trip back to college while diving into Trader Joe’s ramen soup cups. Katie and Evie pair these sodium-filled delights with our laziest “cooking” hacks, a natural yet ill-advised replacement for lip filler, and shoutouts to two of our most loyal listeners, our dads. 

In the cart: 

• Miso Ramen Soup
• Chicken Ramen Soup
• Spicy Miso Ramen Soup

The Hoes are returning to Trader Joe’s baked good section where they’ve learned to keep their expectations low. Will these muffins be another disappointment or can these breakfast carbs win them back? 

In the cart:

• Cinnamon Coffee Cake Muffins
• Strawberry Muffins
• Double Chocolate Muffins