The Hoes plant themselves firmly in herbivore territory with Trader Joe’s new vegan options. Between the pea-based “pork” rinds, the beef-free bolognese and the chicken-free masala salad, it’s a meatless menu full of unexpected flavors. Not on the table but certainly on our minds: chicharrones, Popeye and our newest franchise, Tater Joe’s. 

In the Cart:
Vegan Pasta Bolognese
Vegan Chickpea Masala Salad
Spicy Porkless Plant-Based Snack Rinds

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Hoes, what’s your go-to ice cream order this summer? Ours? Oh, it’s just a triple scoop of new TJ’s treats, a drizzle of Welcome to Your Fantasy, some crumbles savory scone from The Dinersaur, the crushed dream of a Trader Joe’s convention and just a pinch of subtle farts to top it off. Get those spoons ready! 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert 
• Vegan Cookies and Cream Vanilla Bean Bon Bons
• Tangerine Cream Bars 

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The Hoes are hitting up the newest items in Trader Joe's cheese section and boy has he made some choices. Toss in some new crackers and BYOW because we're about to get into some charfoolerie (charcuterie + foolery - come on, guys). Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: the beauty of the grading curve, Instagram-worthy boards and sleepy time cheese.

In the Cart:
- Creamy Toscano Soaked in Rosé Wine 
- Tealicious Cheddar Cheese
- Sfogliette Thin & Crunchy Rosemary Italian Crackers

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Unlike some of these items, we’re not sugar-coating anything this week, Hoes. We’re treating ourselves to some sweet new goodies from Trader Joe’s and let’s just say things get eirdway. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Popular tubers, the ending of the Chippendales tangent Evie took us on, podcast club meetings and how much TJ’s crew members are allowed to shit talk new items. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Dark Chocolate Watermelon Sticks
• Strawberry and Vanilla Flavored Yogurt Pretzels 
• Ube Tea Cookies

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The Hoes are hitting up some of Trader Joe’s newest items and it’s only going to get crazier from here because Joe is vaxxed, waxed and ready bombard you with a whole slew of never-before-seen seasonal products. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s bathrooms, the likability of turtles, and secret TJ crew listeners. 

In the Cart:
Crispy Crunchy Crisps
Crispy Jalapeño Pieces
Tangy Turtles

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The Hoes get down and dairy with Trader Joe’s newest frozen deserts. Will they melt for Joe’s newest seasonal pint or give the cold shoulder to his latest Hold the Cone creation? Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: TJs pickup lines, the divisiveness of peaches and bottled bong water. 

In the Cart:
Southern Peach Crisp Ice Cream
Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars
Mini Hold the Cone: Coffee Bean 

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This week, we're getting schooled with a child-like charcuterie spread that kindergarteners could only dream of. Plus, Evie learns that all of her childhood may have been a lie, Katie learns that Evie may have been holding out on her with the best dip of them all, and they both learn that not all gummies are grade A. 

Big shoutout to our Hoes who wrote in with questions that we answer throughout the episode. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Fig Cookies 
• Sweet and Deliciously Fruity Gummy Candies
• Spring Gummies

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Welcome to the Trader Hoes remix. Did we change up the way we do this episode? Not at all. Did we give you a preview of our rapping skills? Unfortunately, yes. Get ready for the song of the summer and your new snacks of the summer with these peanut butter and chocolate duets. We’re also blowing minds with some Girl Scout Cookie delivery knowledge, Regina George comparisons and possibly our newest merch item. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Fruity Chewy Candy 
• Chocolate Covered Wafer Cookie with Peanut Butter Filling
• Chocolate and Peanut Butter Joe-Joe’s

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Pickle popcorn may not be back but a new sister item is hot on the scene (and you know the Hoes are here for it). From nuggets to chips, pickles to pretzels, Trader Joe's newest snack items are making one salty showdown.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: 90 Day Fiancé, a floral arrangement followup and a Pride and Prejudice take on past TJs items. 

In the Cart:
Chips in a Pickle 
Onion Chips 
Almond Butter Pretzel Nuggets

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We’re getting personal this week, Hoes, with a little walk down memory (or mammary) lane. What can we say? These vegan dips just brought us back and brought some surprises. Channel your inner child with us as we carry our breadsticks like fancy cigarettes, recount some of Evie’s favorite family recipes and question what meat (if any) was really in Chef Boyardee. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Vegan Bolognese-Style Pasta Sauce with Tomatoes and Meatless Plant-Based Crumbles 
• Vegan Caramelized Onion Dip 
• Vegan Kale, Cashew & Basil Pesto

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