Yes, we’ll get into the items we tried this week, Hoes, but first, we have breaking news! Katie found a new app that allows you to get Trader Joe’s items DELIVERED. We’ll wait while you catch your breath. It’s called Dumpling, and they should sponsor us for how much we promoted them in this episode. Anyway, we also tried some Trader Joe’s items. But let’s just say that breaking news was the highlight for us. Well, maybe Katie's Greek accent too. 

In the cart: 

• Uncured Turkey Bacon Cheese Sous Vide Egg Bites
• Olive Chicken Bites 
• Apple Fruit Snacks Mango Jalapeño 

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Hoes, we apologize right now if you can smell our breath through this episode. We were not prepared for how pungent these items would be. But if you looooooooove garlic and the resulting breath, does Trader Joe’s have some chips for you! We also spill some insider knowledge thanks to a few of our followers, welcome a new Patron to our inner circle and try not to kill our houseplants with our rank fumes. 

In the cart: 

• Almond Butter Almonds 
• Everything but the Bagel Seasoned Kettle-Cooked Potato Chips 
• Plantain Croutons 

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Hoes, this year we’re getting a new president and giving you full transparency. We are still quarantining and recording from home, and it shows. In addition to discovering the Destiny’s Child of nuts from Trader Joe's, we also find the loudest pacifier with the best comedic timing and realize Evie may need to fight Katie’s toddler for Brian’s hand in marriage. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• A Trio of Almonds
• Caramel Coffee Cashews 
• Cocoa Chile Spiced Pecans 

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If there’s one thing that’s certain in this crazy world we live in, it’s that the Hoes need to do a road trip across the country to see all of these incredible Trader Joe’s locations! Seriously, Arizona, step it up. And on that trip, we may very well bring these three quick breakfast items to sustain us. Well, one in particular is never leaving our sight, if we have any say in it. We also need the Venn diagram of Trader Joe’s fan and true crime fans. We’re guessing it’s a circle. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Grainless Granola 
• Chewy Chocolate & Peanut Butter Protein Bars 
• Crunchy Almond Butter Puffs Cereal

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We made it, Hoes. This year, we’re focusing on the positives, starting with looking back on our favorites from 2020 that we hope to see again in 2021. 

And in between giving ourselves pats on the back, a heartbreaking story of the loss of a perfectly good bag of jalapeño puffs and dropping air fryer suggestions, we also tease out things coming soon for these Hoes and ponder the invention of a cheese door stopper and the Stud Muffin Diet. 

Also, please send us photos of your unique Trader Joe’s that we must visit one day. WE DID NOT KNOW THESE EXIST!!! 

Our favorites from 2020:

• Southwestern Chopped Salad
• Cinnamon Rugelach
• Scandinavian Swimmers 
• Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
• Organic Jalapeño Seasoned Corn & Rice Puffs 
• Pumpkin Brioche 
• Sparkling Watermelon Juice 
• Synergistically Seasoned Popcorn
• Hatch Chile Cheddar Seasoned Popcorn
• Russet Potato Chips 
• Murasaki Sweet Potato Chips 
• Romesco Dip

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We’ve almost made it, Hoes! We’re in the last week of the weirdest year we’ve ever lived through. And if there’s one thing we’ll take with us into 2021, it’s a newfound appreciation of cookies, especially these TJ’s holiday ones. Well, that and maybe the inspiration for holiday taxidermy, an irrational fear of voodoo cookies and the emotional scars of working at an alt weekly paper. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Baton Lovers Quartet 
• Decked Out Tree Cookies 
• Cookie Mug Hangers 

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We’re back! And one of these Hoes is a whole lot more engaged than the last time we recorded 💍 But back to the TJ's stuff. In preparation for this episode, we’ve been building up our sugar tolerance so we can take these holiday candies in stride. We also reveal our true feelings about mint chocolate chip in a Freudian slip, long for a return to casino bingo nights and question whether birds are real. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• English Toffee Bites 
• Candy Cane Chocolate Covered Almonds
• Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s Dark Chocolate Bar 

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The holidays look a bit different this year, Hoes, so we decided to kick off our December episodes with some unusual, festive treats. Also, keep sharing your stupid with us and maybe we’ll do a roundup of our favorites. But definitely don’t share you address with us. Honestly, Katie’s probably already found it. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Over The River And Through The Wood Trek Mix 
• Sweet & Salty Snack Mix 
• Stepping It Up Spicy Snack Bar Mix

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The time has come! Katie can finally eat soft cheeses again, and these Hoes are taking advantage and taking on all of the hardcore wax standing in the way. But the cheesiest thing about this episode isn’t even the items we tried. Plus, somebody call The New York Times because we have the youngest podcaster ever on this episode, and she’s already got amazing taste. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• 4 Year Aged Cheddar Cheese 
• Red Chili Scalloped Crackers 
• Cauliflower Crisp Snacks 
• Creamy Toscano Cheese soaked in Chardonnay Wine
• Baked Lemon Ricotta Cheese

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We’re getting back in the groove, Hoes. Katie has returned and is ready to wrestle some bags of Trader Joe’s crackers. Yes, wrestle. They put up quite a fight. And we put all of the energy into the universe that Katie doesn’t catch her hair on fire again this Thanksgiving. Plus, enjoy some prime storybook animal voices and some intense disdain for raisins. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Trail Mix Crackers
• Bite-Sized Sharp Cheddar Cheesy Crackers
• Spicy Chakri Mix

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