Hoes, we’re getting salty this week. We’ve got some gripes about non-resealable chip bags, and we’re pairing them with some equally salty (and spicy) snacks. Plus, we want you to Share Your Stupid with us. Like Evie’s conclusion that Peruvia was a made-up country because of a Kim Possible episode, we want to hear those moments that make you face palm when you relive them. Send ‘em our way so we can all remember that everyone is a little stupid sometimes. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Peruvian Potato Chips
• Murasaki Sweet Potato Chips 
• Organic Jalapeño Seasoned Corn & Rice Puffs 
• Organic Garlic Naan Crackers 

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We’re spreading the love this week, Hoes. We also have a very important question for you: What kind of dodgeball player are you? While you ponder that, we’ll share some addicting jams and spreads with you and one that just didn’t do it for us, honey. And to further our promise of making this an educational podcast, we dissect the differences between jams and jellies and wonder if I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter exists anymore. 

In the cart:

• PB & J Snack Duo
• Sweet & Savory Tomato Spread 
• Organic Maple Butter
• Apple Cider Fruit Spread 

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While we round out the pumpkin reviews this year, we need some help, Hoes. How do we cook the Spicy Pumpkin Curry Simmer Sauce? We’ll keep snacking on these pumpkin sweets, but please halp. Also, some announcements: Catch us getting written up in the Phoenix New Times (Not the New York Times...yet), Katie’s husband is basically a doctor now and Evie will never let go of charcuterie boards. 

In the cart: 

• This Pumpkin Walks Into A Bar 
• Pumpkin Spice Batons 
• Pumpkin Spice Pretzel Slims 

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This is the pumpkin episode Evie has been waiting for. We’ve been patiently prioritizing other pumpkin items while these ones constantly called to us. The time has finally come and, Hoes, they did not disappoint. We also learn that physics don’t apply to pumpkin season, Queer Eye is our quarantine dopamine source and Trader Joe’s is trying to start something between the East and West Coasts. Plus, Katie updates us with her cookie progress. Spoiler: Practice and self-restraint may make perfect. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Pumpkin Empanadas
• Mini Spicy Pumpkin Samosas
• Fall Harvest Salsa 
• Fall Leaf Tortilla Chips 

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This was a week for carbs. And because it’s late September, you know they’re Pumpkin Spice carbs. Also, we need your help, Hoes. Katie is looking for pro baking tips, so if you’ve mastered the art of cookie-making, share the wealth. While you’re at it, let us know if “dense” is the new “thicc.” We think we can make it happen. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Pumpkin Brioche
• Maple Streusel Bread 
• Pumpkin Blondie Brownies 

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Are you ready, Hoes? ‘Tis the season for pumpkin spice, and we’re feeling festive AF. Even though it’s still triple digits here in AZ, we’ve got our cozy slippers on, and we’re pairing them with some brand new Trader Joe’s pumpkin picks. We’re also very concerned with Harry Potter’s hydration and physical activity regimen and considering a new podcast, Evie and Katie Complain About Shit. Who knows? Stranger things have happened in 2020...

🛒 In the cart:

• Pumpkin spice protein smoothie 
• Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries Pumpkin
• Organic Pumpkin Bread 

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We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: This is an educational podcast, Hoes. And this week, we’re getting schooled by some great choices from our Patron Katie S. during our first ever Choose Your Hoe Adventure episode. We handed the reigns over and let Katie S. introduce us to some newish items. We also learn how cassava and tapioca are connected, how great the need for cheese trail mix is and that Hilary Duff really needs to listen to a few more episode of TH. 

🛒In the cart:

• Brazilian Style Cheese Bread 
• Spicy Cashew Butter Dressing
• Shredded Pizza Seasoned Toscano Cheese

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In this loosely themed episode, we dive into some cheese and crackers that would make for one wild charcuterie board. We also declare that we’re ready for Fall and bread bowls, pitch the idea of TJ’s adult Lunchables and may need to issue an apology to our nemeses, microwave muffins. 

In the cart:

• Shredded Unexpected Cheddar
• Unexpected Broccoli Cheddar Soup
• Everything But The Gluten Crackers
• Nacho Cheese Flavored Corn Tortilla Chips

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Hoes, we deserved this episode. After last week’s muffin fiasco, we’re feeding our souls with some surprisingly authentic new pastas. Seriously, we cannot shut up about how good this pasta is and how reminiscent it is of actual pasta that we tried in Italy. It’s a problem. We’d also like to draw your attention to the perfect metaphor of emotional Whack-A-Mole during the pandemic and the genius idea of Puppy Pasta Parlors. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
• Cacio e Pepe Ravioli 
• Cheese-Filled Fiocchetti with Pink Sauce

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Well, Hoes, emotions rise unlike our attempts at muffins this week, as we try our hand at baking up some easy breakfast. Spoiler: Things are half-baked at best. You’ll also hear a special dramatic reading, all about Katie’s week of successes and only mild panic at a surprise Zoom guest. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Protein Dark Chocolate Muffin
• Protein Maple Muffin
• Cheese-less Cheesecakes 

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