With COVID-19 sweeping the state, we had to get a little creative this week. Enter Hoe and Tell. We rounded up Trader Joe’s items old and new from our kitchens and shared our unsynchronized feastinis, our love of women raising up other women, and our gratitude for not having to smell each other. 

In the cart (kind of):

• Butter Chicken
• Palak Paneer
• Naan 
• Sparkling Watermelon Juice 
• Breaded Chicken Tenderloin Breasts
• Greek Style Feta Dressing 
• Honey Aleppo Sauce 
• Garlic and Onion Pistachios 

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Things get pretty spicy this week, and we’re not just talking about Katie “Quick Pick” Bravo’s threats and perspective on practical jokes. It’s a jalapeño showdown with an extra sweet treat to top it all off. Plus, we try to figure out the average lifespan of a cat, Scandinavians’ virility, and just how gross thinly sliced hot dogs would be on a charcuterie board. 

In the cart: 

• Pickled Fermented Jalapeño Slices
• Hot & Sweet Jalapeños
• Just The Lobsters 

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Pickle Popcorn is back, Hoes! But is pickle still the flavor of the summer? Based on these items, watermelon may be taking its place. We also divulge our house guest snooping habits, confirm that we both still have trash palates, and continue to navigate the perils of recording remotely. 

In the cart: 

• Sparkling Watermelon Juice 
• Organic Watermelon Jerky
• Watermelon Cucumber Cooler 
• Organic Watermelon Fruit Spread 

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Hey, Hoes. It is not lost on us that it is our privilege as white women that allows us to sit safely in our homes and record an entertainment podcast. We do want to try to bring some levity to your day, but first, say that we stand against racism and the horrible violence, murders, and inequality that led to the recent protests across the country. To our black listeners, we are with you. 

In this episode, we explore some of Joe’s newest items, Evie’s desires to be launched unconscious into space, and the dangerous game that was '90s novelty candy.

In the cart: 
•These Sprinkles Walk Into A Sandwich Cookie
•Lemon Baton Wafer Cookies 
•Watermelon Facial Spray 

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Spoiler alert: Quarantine has gotten weird, Hoes. We fell down a dark, twisted Trader Joe’s Test Kitchen rabbit hole and stumbled upon some equally dark, twisted tangents along the way. We find out how Katie truly feels about her grandmother, glimpse the intimate side of recording remotely and ponder if Katie’s dad is Michael Jordan’s doppelgänger. Oh, and we do talk about a few new TJ’s items...eventually. 

🛒In the cart:

-Dill Pickle Hummus 
-Honey Mustard and Onion Seasoned Pretzel Pieces 
-Synergistically Seasoned Popcorn 

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Hoes, we are back! Times are crazy and weird right now, but we fought off our quarantine-induced inner demons long enough to hook these ol’ mics up to Zoom and answer your questions from Instagram. Thank you, kind Hoes, for your queries and for grinning and bearing it through the lags, connection glitches, and general tech quirks that have become our new normal. Join us as we discover why Katie can’t work at a sex hotline, reminisce about our time on the Titanic, share the trauma that brought us together years ago, and maybe even mention some Trader Joe’s products. 

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It’s quarantine time and you better believe the Hoes stocked up on some Trade Joes rations. Well, technically they’re just items Evie’s been accumulating in her kitchen for roughly a year but you get the gist. From frozen apps to salty snacks, it’s a nonperishable parade of never-before-featured foods. Also on the menu, ideas for the next Pixar film, Evie's distorted music knowledge and Katie’s savory solution for social distancing. 

In the cart:
Mandarin Style Orange Chicken Bowl
Mac and Cheese Bites
Kunefe
Chile and Garlic Cashews
Scalloped Potato Chips with Five Cheeses

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Well, Hoes, it was bound to happen. It took 10 episodes into season two, but we have found the item that will divide us as much in 2020 as Trader Joe’s Fig & Olive and Raisin & Rosemary Crisps did in 2019. It’s the donut. We discovered this week that we are on very opposite ends of the spectrum between liking raised and cake donuts. Which do you prefer? Along with several other breakfast baked goods, we discuss how strange our last names are, childhood cake trauma, and butt muffins.    

In the cart: 

• Glazed Chocolate Donut
• Glazed Sour Cream Donut 
• Vegan Banana Bread with Walnuts
• Raspberry & White Chocolate Bundt Cake 
• Pecan Kringle 

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RIP Joe Coulombe. You turned Hawaiian shirt Fridays into a daily uniform, created a wine selection that put other grocery chains to shame, and provided us with the snacks we didn’t know we needed and now can’t live with out. Wherever you are, we hope there’s pickle popcorn. 

In this episode, the Hoes are hitting up Trader Joe’s bagged salad section for half-assed healthy eating. Get ready a toss up of flavors, a drizzling of “FEY-TUH” and a thorough investigation into Evie’s fork skills. 

In the cart:

Peanut and Crispy Noodle Salad Kit

Southwestern Chopped Salad

Organic Mediterranean Style Salad Kit 

Complete Salad - Baby Spinach

Veggies and Greens Salad Kit

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This week, Katie said it best: “It’s 2020. We’re not saying sorry, and we’re putting Elote seasoning on everything.” Yep, we’re doing a taste test with the brand new Everything But The Elote Seasoning Blend with some help from our Hoes. We took your suggestions and discovered just what this Elote stuff can do. We also reveal a new business idea, debate which president we think is hottest, and celebrate Katie using “caveat” properly in a sentence. 

🛒 In the cart: 

-Everything But The Elote Seasoning Blend
-Mandarin Orange Chicken 
-Spicy Avocado Hummus
-Corn Chip Dippers 
-Organic Popcorn With Olive Oil 
-Roasted Corn 
-Handsome Cut Potato Fries 
-Gluten Free Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets

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