The insulin isn't the only thing getting spiked as the Hoes embark on a holiday tradition: getting tipsy on Trader Joe's chocolate liqueurs. From the fancy to the figgy, it's a sugary showdown verging on a shit show -- a 50th episode shit show! Not in the cart: Evie's 23andMe results, vodka saunas and CBD candles. 

In the cart: 
Chocolate Liqueur Cherries
Coco Cream Liqueur 
Wintery Blend
Brandy Beans
Boozy Little Chocolate Truffles
Rabitos Royal 
Assorted Half Dipped Chocolate Biscotti

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The holidays have hit, Hoes, and we are munching ahead full blast, starting with Trader Joe’s holiday cookies. Plus, we tease some exciting news (be sure to follow us on Instagram at @realtraderhoes to get the details), buy into Cyber Monday, discuss how we feel about cats, and tell the story of Evie getting fan struck for the first time! 

In the cart: 

• Trader Joe’s and the Astounding Multi-Flavored Joe-Joe’s 
• Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s
• Gluten-Free Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s 
• Dark Chocolate Stars
• Danish Butter Cookies
• Raspberry Stars
• Savory Shortbread Biscuits
• Mini Gingerbread Men
• Ginger Snowball Cookies

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We are so thankful for you Hoes, and just as thankful for Trader Joe’s Thanksgiving fixings! From the corner-cutting classics to the festive fusions that only Joe himself could create these Hoes are all aboard this grocery gravy train. Not on the train: Evie’s secret family stuffing, Paul Hollywood’s soggy bottom and chicken milk. 

In the cart:

Pistachio Pomegranate Crisps

Scalloped Potatoes Quattro Formaggio

Breaded Turkey-Less Stuffed Roast with Gravy

Cauliflower and Cheesy Pasta Shells

Cauliflower Gratin

Turkey and Stuffing en Croute

A Flock of Milk Chocolate Turkeys

Rustic Spice Cake

Cranberry Orange Relish 

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In this episode, the Hoes get a little silly, fusilli that is, as they take a bite out of Trader Joe’s frozen, single-serve pasta selection. It’s Evie’s turn to exhibit a horrible accent, Katie unveils her idea for a new breastaurant, and they both question Joe’s understanding of Italian food. 

In the cart:

• Fusilli with Vegetables & Basil Pesto
• Ricotta & Spinach Tortelloni with Red Pesto
• Farfalle with 4 Cheeses & Spinach 
• Organic Pesto Tortellini
• Reduced-Guilt Baked Ziti with Mozzarella & Grana Cheese

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It’s an epic wrap battle featuring Trader Joe’s finest assortment of tortilla-wrapped fusions. But this pre-made matchup may be more than these Hoes bargained for. Get ready for a rollercoaster of low-carb concoctions, high-steaks tuna and — heaven help us — Katie’s weird moles. 

In the cart:
- Tuna Salad Wrap
- Cubano Seasoned Wrap
- Rainbow Wrap
- Turkey Club Wrap
- Turkey Gobbler Wrap

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Well, Hoes, they've made it to the finale of the Pumpkin Pilgrimage and are closing it out with a smorgas-gourd of Trader Joe's pumpkin products. They're talking everything from liqueur to dog treats, all while struggling with sheet masks, pronunciations, and why Pumpkin Spice never made it into the Spice Girls. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Mask
• Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale
• Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps
• Cranberry Chèvre
• Creamy Toscano Cheese Dusted With Cinnamon
• Pumpkin Pie Spiced Ginger Brew Sparkling Beverage
• Pumpkin Tortilla Chips
• Pumpkin Spice Cream Liqueur
• Pumpkin Body Butter

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The Hoes are taking on Trader Joe's Halloween items, and the puns aren't even the scariest part. Katie and Evie learn how to fight their fears, try to figure out who even likes candy corn, and avoid disappointing Lizzo at all costs. 

In the cart: 

• Haunted House Chocolate Cookie Kit
• Candy Corn Popcorn
• Glimmering Pumpkin Sugar-Coated Sugar Cookies
• spooky Half Moon Cookies
• Boo Bark
• Chocolate Mousse Pumpkins
• Halloween Gummies

Want to hear how the Haunted House Chocolate Cookie Kit assembly went? Head over to Patreon.com/TraderHoes. 

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It’s Part Five of our Pumpkin Series, Hoes! And these star bitches all about Trader Joe’s sweet, sweet pumpkin spice snacks. From bars to barks, cones to cake, it’s a nonstop striptease of inexplicably boob-shaped treats. 

In the cart:

• Pumpkin Cheesecake 
• Pumpkin Spices Pumpkin Seeds
• This Pumpkin Walks Into a Bar
• Spiced Pumpkin Madeleine Cookies
• Pumpkin Ginger Hold the Cone
• Organic Pumpkin Spice Granola Bark

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The Hoes are hitting a wall with Trader Joe’s nonstop pumpkin parade but they’re powering through thanks to these oh-so-easy, oh-so-lazy breakfast items. Sure, they may just be glorified dessert. And yes, they’re washing it down with breakfast wine. But hey, that’s exactly what Evie’s going to need when she finds out Katie has never, not even once in her fall-loving life, tried a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin O’s
• Pumpkin Biscotti
• Pumpkin Butter
• Pecan Pumpkin Instant Oatmeal
• Pumpkin Waffles 
• Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries: Pumpkin
• La Colombe Pumpkin Spice Draft Latte

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The Hoes are on part three of their pumpkin pilgrimage, and things are getting personal. After the most prep that they’ve ever put into an episode, expectations were high for this fancy pumpkin breakfast. They read instructions (or tried to), identified “seasoned crevices” as the best part of a baked good, and revealed the existence of specific voices that Evie uses for her dogs. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin Spice Coffee 
• Pumpkin Spice Almond Beverage 
• Pumpkin Rolls 
• Pumpkin Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies 
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Pancake Mix (As Waffles) 
• Vanilla Bean Infused Vermont Maple Syrup 
• Pumpkin Pancake & Waffle Mix 
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Bread & Muffin Baking Mix 
• Pumpkin Bread & Muffin Mix 

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