Well, Hoes, they've made it to the finale of the Pumpkin Pilgrimage and are closing it out with a smorgas-gourd of Trader Joe's pumpkin products. They're talking everything from liqueur to dog treats, all while struggling with sheet masks, pronunciations, and why Pumpkin Spice never made it into the Spice Girls. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Mask
• Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale
• Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps
• Cranberry Chèvre
• Creamy Toscano Cheese Dusted With Cinnamon
• Pumpkin Pie Spiced Ginger Brew Sparkling Beverage
• Pumpkin Tortilla Chips
• Pumpkin Spice Cream Liqueur
• Pumpkin Body Butter

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The Hoes are taking on Trader Joe's Halloween items, and the puns aren't even the scariest part. Katie and Evie learn how to fight their fears, try to figure out who even likes candy corn, and avoid disappointing Lizzo at all costs. 

In the cart: 

• Haunted House Chocolate Cookie Kit
• Candy Corn Popcorn
• Glimmering Pumpkin Sugar-Coated Sugar Cookies
• spooky Half Moon Cookies
• Boo Bark
• Chocolate Mousse Pumpkins
• Halloween Gummies

Want to hear how the Haunted House Chocolate Cookie Kit assembly went? Head over to Patreon.com/TraderHoes. 

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It’s Part Five of our Pumpkin Series, Hoes! And these star bitches all about Trader Joe’s sweet, sweet pumpkin spice snacks. From bars to barks, cones to cake, it’s a nonstop striptease of inexplicably boob-shaped treats. 

In the cart:

• Pumpkin Cheesecake 
• Pumpkin Spices Pumpkin Seeds
• This Pumpkin Walks Into a Bar
• Spiced Pumpkin Madeleine Cookies
• Pumpkin Ginger Hold the Cone
• Organic Pumpkin Spice Granola Bark

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The Hoes are hitting a wall with Trader Joe’s nonstop pumpkin parade but they’re powering through thanks to these oh-so-easy, oh-so-lazy breakfast items. Sure, they may just be glorified dessert. And yes, they’re washing it down with breakfast wine. But hey, that’s exactly what Evie’s going to need when she finds out Katie has never, not even once in her fall-loving life, tried a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin O’s
• Pumpkin Biscotti
• Pumpkin Butter
• Pecan Pumpkin Instant Oatmeal
• Pumpkin Waffles 
• Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries: Pumpkin
• La Colombe Pumpkin Spice Draft Latte

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The Hoes are on part three of their pumpkin pilgrimage, and things are getting personal. After the most prep that they’ve ever put into an episode, expectations were high for this fancy pumpkin breakfast. They read instructions (or tried to), identified “seasoned crevices” as the best part of a baked good, and revealed the existence of specific voices that Evie uses for her dogs. 

In the cart: 

• Pumpkin Spice Coffee 
• Pumpkin Spice Almond Beverage 
• Pumpkin Rolls 
• Pumpkin Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies 
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Pancake Mix (As Waffles) 
• Vanilla Bean Infused Vermont Maple Syrup 
• Pumpkin Pancake & Waffle Mix 
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Bread & Muffin Baking Mix 
• Pumpkin Bread & Muffin Mix 

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The third installment of Ho-ing It Out holds a smattering of firsts for The Hoes. It’s the first time Trader Joe’s virgin, Zack McCarty, sets foot inside a store. It’s the first time the Hoes record on location. And it’s the first time an episode resembles MTV’s The Real World. Things get salty and sweet, the Hoes imagine several innovative concepts (brosé and pumpkin spice vibrators, to name a few), and they wonder if Katie really did have a childhood. 

In the cart: 

• Maison Barboulot Cabernet-Syrah 
• Unexpected Cheddar 
• Raisin and Rosemary Crisps
• Balela 
• Chili and Lime Flavored Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips 
• Mini Chicken Tikka Samosas 
• Pumpkin Ice Cream 
• Popcorn in a Pickle 

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It's part two of our Trader Joe's Pumpkin Series, and the Hoes are going all in on the savory seasonals -- as well as people who leave voicemails, balcony falcons (falconies?) and Katie's not-so-subtle pitch to the TJ's demo station associate about this very podcast. Get out of those jeans and into some sweatpants, Hoes, 'cause this autumnal episode is HEARTY. 

In the cart:

• Autumnal Harvest Alfredo Sauce 
• Fall Zucchette Pasta
• Autumnal Harvest Creamy Pasta Sauce 
• Pumpkin Ravioli
• Pumpkin Bisque
• Pumpkin & Butternut Squash Bisque

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Hoes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, and the harvest has been bountiful, as Joe himself would apparently say. The Hoes are embarking on a pumpkin pilgrimage, and you better believe this is only part one. Get cozy and get ready for an ungodly amount of pumpkin, Sailor Moon’s autumnal cousin, Harvest Moon, a slight grammar lesson and the introduction of the Unigourd.

In the cart:

• Vanilla Pumpkin Scented Candle
• Henry Hotspur’s Hard Pressed For Cider
• Greek Nonfat Yogurt in Pumpkin Flavor
• Pumpkin Bagels
• Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Spice Bagel
• Pumpkin Caramel Kringle
• Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s
• Petite Pumpkin Spice Cookies

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The Hoes throw themselves a frozen fiesta courtesy of Trader Joe. And the only thing more adorable than the tiny tacos is their new recording studio: Katie’s childhood bedroom. Program that microwave, because we’re about serve up some mini Mexican apps, Kosher wine trivia and — what the hell —  some movie recs. 

In the cart: 

-Dearly Beloved I Thee Red

-Mini Beef Tacos

-Mini Chicken Tacos

-Black Bean & Cheese Taquitos

-Chipotle Vegetable Quesadillas

-Southwest Chicken Quesadillas

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The Hoes play their own version of Candy Land this week, and the ending isn't exactly as sweet as they'd hoped. They also try to sink their teeth into some of life's burning questions. Is Trader Joe's heading to Europe? Is white chocolate even chocolate? Are children's pool floaties now fashionable bracelets? They might not have discovered any answers, but their dentists will most likely discover several new cavities.  

In the cart:

• Mini Gummy Bears on a Chocolate Pool Day
• Fruit Jellies
• Black Licorice Treads
• Salt Water Taffy
• Soft Strawberry Licorice Twists 
• Gourmet Jelly Beans

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