The Hoes kicks back with some keto -conscious snacks courtesy of Trade Joe's. Giddyup for a cheese bite bonanza featuring tomato, truffle and semi-aged perfection. Not in these resealable bags but certainly on our minds: wine (duh), Fifth Element throwbacks and a Trader Hoes floral arrangement workshop lead by yours truly - whaaat??

In the cart:
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with Tomato and Chili
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with Black Summer Truffle

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The stars aligned this week, Hoes. This Cancer and Taurus are going on a journey from Vermont to the elementary lunchroom and bringing TJ’s, Harry Potter, astrology and plenty of surprises along the way. We’ll be dancing like the Champignon girls we are and possibly learning Japanese from Katie’s husband. Just one question remains: Which really is the spiciest zodiac? 

🛒In the cart: 

• Organic Toasted Coconut Granola Bark 
• Crispy, Crunchy Champignon Mushrooms
• Crispy, Crunchy, Spicy Mochi Rice Nuggets

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No prep? No problem, because the Hoes are showcasing their thaw talents with Trader Joe’s frozen deserts. From New York style O.G. cheesecake to finger cake confections, this episode is serving layer upon layer of glucose-infused gluttony. Not in our cart but certainly on our minds: The Spice Girls, big sugar and bush honey (yeah, you read that right). 

In the Cart:
New York Deli Style Baked Cheesecake
Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake
A Dozen Sweet Bites
Lemon Curd
Creamed Multi-Floral New Zealand Honey

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We’re going to need you to channel SNL's city correspondent Stefon, Hoes, because this episode’s got everything: Slugging, Enneagrams, our first bi-coastal cheese exchange and the hosts of Self-Control & Cheese, Sara Pion and Bridget Poetker. We introduce these fromage fanatics to some classics, and they introduce us to some new staples all while asking the really important questions. Has anyone created a seasonal cheese almanac? Did we just become best friends? And is Trader Joe hot? 

Be sure to check out Self-Control & Cheese and follow Bridget and Sara on Twitter.

🛒 In the cart:

• Unexpected Cheddar 
• Asiago Cheese with Rosemary and Olive Oil
• Marin French Petite Breakfast Brie 
• Creamy Toscano Cheese Soaked In Syrah
• Blueberry Vanilla Chèvre 
• Cheddar Cheese with Caramelized Onions

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The Hoes spice up their lives with the help of Trader Joe’s seasonings — and a few dozen fries. Change your flavor profile to “it’s complicated” because we’re shaking things up with savory blends that bend space and thyme. Not on the plate but certainly on our minds: Trader Joe’s pet shop potential (Trader Joe Exotic???), Evie’s plan to prank her fiancé, and Katie’s questionable take on seafood. 

In the cart:
Handsome Cut Potato Fries
Za'atar Seasoning Blend
Cuban Style Citrusy Garlic
Ground Fermented Black Garlic

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Hoes, it is a big week. Grab your diaries, because you’re going to want to take note of this. Katie tries Cookie Butter for the first time. How did she go this long without it? We don’t know. How did we so horribly misjudge the Banana Fruit Spread? We don’t know. How did Evie end up sounding like a 911 caller in a true crime documentary? We don’t know. Why does Katie smell like chicken noodle soup? We absolutely do not know. But here we are. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Crepe Wafer Cookies 
• Speculoos Cookie Butter
• Organic Banana Fruit Spread
• Cocoa Almond Spread 
• Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce 

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This episode’s theme is strung together about as well as we’re keeping it “togedder.” So, just go with it when we say we’re trying some nut items this week. We’re also following up on the definition of “yeet,” asking for TJ’s to step it up for Mother’s Day and may be giving “Trader Hoes” a whole new meaning. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza with Deep Fried Crust
• Crispy Peanut Butter Filled Milk Chocolate Peanuts
• Amped-Up Almonds

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This week, we’re getting saucy, Hoes. And no, we’re not just talking about Katie’s beer shower. (Not shower beer. Beer shower.) We’re slurping up Trader Joe’s new Thai Noodle bowls, and they vary as much as Evie’s preference for coconuts. We also go over why it “must be hard being a pretty girl in LA,” who is the Mariah Carey of this podcast and why email is so hard. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Peanut Satay Thai Noodles
• Red Curry Thai Noodles
• Garlic Sauce Thai Noodles 

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If you're looking for the Trader Hoes featured in Refinery29, you've come to the right place. And this week, Hoes, we're getting saucy with some new Trader Joe's products. We're also dissecting the various flavors of compliment sandwiches, the strange anatomy of '90s salads and what the heck meat sprinkles are. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Breaded Fried Ravioli
• Bolognese Style Tomato & Beef Pasta Sauce
• Calabrian Chili Tomato Dumpling Soup 

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You know what, Hoes? We deserve to metaphorically drown ourselves (Augustus Gloop-style) in chocolate this week after the utter disappointment of last week's items. And Trader Joe's did not disappoint. We're dishing up bold new combinations, some horrendous Australian accents, childhood throwbacks and a lot of curiosity about what fathers did to piss off every country so there aren't any Fatherlands. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Dark Chocolate Drizzled Plantain Chips 
• Aussie-Style Chocolate Creme Sandwich Cookie
• Non-Dairy Chocolate Oat Beverage

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