Unlike some of these items, we’re not sugar-coating anything this week, Hoes. We’re treating ourselves to some sweet new goodies from Trader Joe’s and let’s just say things get eirdway. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Popular tubers, the ending of the Chippendales tangent Evie took us on, podcast club meetings and how much TJ’s crew members are allowed to shit talk new items. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Dark Chocolate Watermelon Sticks
• Strawberry and Vanilla Flavored Yogurt Pretzels 
• Ube Tea Cookies

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The Hoes are hitting up some of Trader Joe’s newest items and it’s only going to get crazier from here because Joe is vaxxed, waxed and ready bombard you with a whole slew of never-before-seen seasonal products. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s bathrooms, the likability of turtles, and secret TJ crew listeners. 

In the Cart:
Crispy Crunchy Crisps
Crispy Jalapeño Pieces
Tangy Turtles

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The Hoes get down and dairy with Trader Joe’s newest frozen deserts. Will they melt for Joe’s newest seasonal pint or give the cold shoulder to his latest Hold the Cone creation? Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: TJs pickup lines, the divisiveness of peaches and bottled bong water. 

In the Cart:
Southern Peach Crisp Ice Cream
Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars
Mini Hold the Cone: Coffee Bean 

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This week, we're getting schooled with a child-like charcuterie spread that kindergarteners could only dream of. Plus, Evie learns that all of her childhood may have been a lie, Katie learns that Evie may have been holding out on her with the best dip of them all, and they both learn that not all gummies are grade A. 

Big shoutout to our Hoes who wrote in with questions that we answer throughout the episode. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Fig Cookies 
• Sweet and Deliciously Fruity Gummy Candies
• Spring Gummies

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Welcome to the Trader Hoes remix. Did we change up the way we do this episode? Not at all. Did we give you a preview of our rapping skills? Unfortunately, yes. Get ready for the song of the summer and your new snacks of the summer with these peanut butter and chocolate duets. We’re also blowing minds with some Girl Scout Cookie delivery knowledge, Regina George comparisons and possibly our newest merch item. 

🛒 In the cart: 

• Fruity Chewy Candy 
• Chocolate Covered Wafer Cookie with Peanut Butter Filling
• Chocolate and Peanut Butter Joe-Joe’s

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Pickle popcorn may not be back but a new sister item is hot on the scene (and you know the Hoes are here for it). From nuggets to chips, pickles to pretzels, Trader Joe's newest snack items are making one salty showdown.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: 90 Day Fiancé, a floral arrangement followup and a Pride and Prejudice take on past TJs items. 

In the Cart:
Chips in a Pickle 
Onion Chips 
Almond Butter Pretzel Nuggets

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We’re getting personal this week, Hoes, with a little walk down memory (or mammary) lane. What can we say? These vegan dips just brought us back and brought some surprises. Channel your inner child with us as we carry our breadsticks like fancy cigarettes, recount some of Evie’s favorite family recipes and question what meat (if any) was really in Chef Boyardee. 

🛒 In the cart:

• Vegan Bolognese-Style Pasta Sauce with Tomatoes and Meatless Plant-Based Crumbles 
• Vegan Caramelized Onion Dip 
• Vegan Kale, Cashew & Basil Pesto

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The Hoes kicks back with some keto -conscious snacks courtesy of Trade Joe's. Giddyup for a cheese bite bonanza featuring tomato, truffle and semi-aged perfection. Not in these resealable bags but certainly on our minds: wine (duh), Fifth Element throwbacks and a Trader Hoes floral arrangement workshop lead by yours truly - whaaat??

In the cart:
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with Tomato and Chili
Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with Black Summer Truffle

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The stars aligned this week, Hoes. This Cancer and Taurus are going on a journey from Vermont to the elementary lunchroom and bringing TJ’s, Harry Potter, astrology and plenty of surprises along the way. We’ll be dancing like the Champignon girls we are and possibly learning Japanese from Katie’s husband. Just one question remains: Which really is the spiciest zodiac? 

🛒In the cart: 

• Organic Toasted Coconut Granola Bark 
• Crispy, Crunchy Champignon Mushrooms
• Crispy, Crunchy, Spicy Mochi Rice Nuggets

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No prep? No problem, because the Hoes are showcasing their thaw talents with Trader Joe’s frozen deserts. From New York style O.G. cheesecake to finger cake confections, this episode is serving layer upon layer of glucose-infused gluttony. Not in our cart but certainly on our minds: The Spice Girls, big sugar and bush honey (yeah, you read that right). 

In the Cart:
New York Deli Style Baked Cheesecake
Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake
A Dozen Sweet Bites
Lemon Curd
Creamed Multi-Floral New Zealand Honey

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