Training4Manhood

Guest: Ryan Bangert, Alliance Defending Freedom

Happy July 4th! On July 4th, Americans celebrate the passage of the Declaration of Independence, which reads in part:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Recently, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) handed down a monumental decision in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (Dobbs) case that effectively overturned the infamous 1973 Roe v. Wade decision where the Court had found a woman’s right to an abortion was a Constitutionally protected right. Overturning Roe means that the “right to an abortion” is now no longer secured by the federal courts and is subject to the determination of the governed - just as the Framers had intended our governmental process to work. So whether you’re “pro-abortion” or “pro-life,” Dobbs returns the power to influence the legislative process back to the citizens of each state to decide through their elected representatives, a right which the Court had usurped from citizens in the Roe decision.

As men, what does the Dobbs decision mean?

• A large percentage of women seeking abortions are single women who already have other children, but because of financial or other considerations, feel that they are unable to support another child. Men should be part of this consideration and equation and not leave the burden and responsibility to raise children entirely on the shoulders of the mothers of their children. Before abortion becomes a legislative or legal issue, it is a personal responsibility issue and men need to be personally responsible for their children.

• Women facing the decision over abortion or birth are looking for wisdom and guidance and men have an opportunity to support pregnancy centers in their community to give women the needed support to choose life. If you’re in the DFW area, look to support the Prestonwood Pregnancy Center. If you live in other areas of the country, visit the resource list made available from The Heidi Group. The Human Coalition is also a great organization to know about and support.

• As more women look to give birth to their children, there may be an increased opportunity for men to step up in terms of adoption and foster care. Even if you’re not looking to bring a child into your family, you can support others who are willing. Learn more from CHOSEN: Christ’s Hope for Orphans: Supporting, Embracing, Nurturing.

• Don’t forget about post-abortive resources for women struggling with the trauma and anxiety that often comes from having an abortion. Check out the resources available from Focus on the Family for post-abortive care.

Guest: Warren Craft, Frisco Automotive

Frisco Automotive & Transmission

6623 W Main St, Frisco, TX 75034

972-335-9823

Open M-F, 7:30 am - 6:00 pm

Standard items to maintain - change your engine oil on a regular basis (according to your owner’s manual), keep your tire pressure correct, check your belts and fluids to make sure they look good (under the hood), and change your air filters on a regular basis.

Warren’s recommended vehicles:

Honda, Toyota, Nissan - excellent sedans/family cars

Chevy, Ford, GMC  - excellent trucks

Warren’s warning about cars that are more expensive to maintain:

Volvo, Audi - and all German-made vehicles (Mercedes-Benz, VW, BMW)

Timing chain - shouldn’t have to ever replace! Timing belt - make sure you are watching for wear and change when needed

Transmission - fluid should be changed on a regular basis. Warren says that if it hasn’t been serviced in a long time, you might be better off just leaving it alone and driving it for as long as you can!

Looking for a good automotive repair shop where you live, visit the AAA Approved Auto Repair Facility Locator!

Warranty - be careful when buying a used car - Warren recommends getting an extended warranty if it’s from the auto manufacturer - not the “after-market” warranty. Warren says that you can take a vehicle to an automotive shop, like Frisco Automotive, and not violate the warranty - that’s something for you to verify.

Warren says that if you purchase a vehicle from a place like Carvana, where you can buy it online without seeing/driving it first, make sure you take that car into a place like Frisco Automotive and get it checked out - apparently Carvana will let you return it within the first six days.

Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Matthew 12:34 - Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Parker - thinking before you speak can be difficult because we don’t see immediate consequences or have immediate ramifications for what we say to others!

James 1:19 - Be quick to listen, slow to speak…

Dan - we’ve lost the respect for the weight of another person’s words…because most people don’t put much thought and effort into saying words that have meaning and significance.

Parker - Thinking before you speak means that you have to put thought into what goes into heart and mind before you open your mouth - not just at the specific moment.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Parker - think of two ponds, one salt water and one fresh water. The fish in the pond that you feed will grow, the fish in the pond that you ignore will die. What are you feeding in your life - good things or corrupt things?

Dan - you are consumers of ideas and concepts - we make choices everyday to fill our hearts and minds with positive, quality, life-affirming words and ideas - or to fill our hearts and minds with the negativity of this world.

Parker - three men you need in your life:

The Word of God should be your primary source for truth and encouragement - then add the influence of other men on your journey.

Nate - men need to step up and hold each other accountable for what they say

Parker - important to balance grace and truth when you speak. Humility is crucial to be able to do this well. How do you develop humility? Spend time with God.

Nate - integrity means that you need to be consistent with your words. Everyone will give an account for each word - Matthew 12:36

Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller

Have you ever considered why you drink alcohol? Some people may wrestle with the issue of drinking before the legal age of 21, but not too many people question the concept of not drinking at all.

Parker - people ask him why he doesn’t drink. His reply - why do you drink? This is a question that people should be wrestling with.

Nate - T4M is all about learning how to make these difficult decisions regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.

Dan - in talking to seniors in high school, one student gave me a “good” reason why they were going to drink in college - he said, “I don’t like who I am…alcohol allows me to be somebody different.” Think about that concept - not liking yourself is not a good reason to do anything!

Parker - alcohol can be a delay of manhood - it pushes off the idea of responsibility.

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Have you seen alcohol make someone a better person?

Nate - I never made a wise decision under the influence of alcohol.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Be sober-minded. The decisions you make are important and have real consequences. Why would you want something that impairs your decision-making process?

Parker - don’t plan to accidentally fail. Your job is to not only protect yourself, but also those around you - especially if you’re responsible for the safety and well-being of a young lady.

Think about this - what percentage of sexual assaults include the use of alcohol? Take away the influence of alcohol and your ability to make good decisions increases dramatically!

Older guys - you’re setting an example for others to follow. Do you think that alcohol is a benefit to your life and something that you want to pass on to your children?

AW Tozer - “The church will be at the height of its heresy when it calls obedience legalism.”

Guest: Matthew Snyder

Ownership vs. Stewardship principle - how do you understand the money that you earn/have?

A man needs to be generous - with their time, talents, and treasure. A mark of a man is that he gives to those in need from what has been given to him.

Giving is the expectation - but not just giving from a concept of scarcity, but from the idea of generosity! What is my motivation in doing what I do?

“Vacation” - what are you doing with “your” time - what if you rethink your time away from work and look to invest it into those in need?

Plan to give a greater percentage of your income every year…

Generosity begets generosity - when people see others who are generous, they want to be a part of it as well!

Keep your eyes open - look for opportunities to give to the needs of others!

The concept of generosity is connected to humility.

Parable of the Rich Young Ruler - Matthew 19:16-22

Going through “challenging” times is helpful with the development of a generous heart.

Being around people who are in a different economic position than you can help you develop a better perspective on giving and generosity.

Generosity isn’t an amount, it’s a heart attitude.

Guest: Matthew Snyder

Andrew Carnegie - “The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth. He must face this question squarely: Will my fortune be safe with my boy and will my boy be safe with my fortune?”

First principle - ownership. Am I the owner of my money - or is money, and the ability to make money, a gift from God? How you answer this question will direct the way that you understand the concept of money!

James 1:17 - Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.

“Stewardship” - the idea that you are not the owner, but you are responsible for the management of something. ALL that you have has been given to you - your time, your talents, your treasure - and you are responsible for the management of every aspect of your life.

Managing Your Money:

1. Giving

Giving - you need to plan your giving - setting aside a percentage of your income to give to others - your church, the needs of others, a cause you find important, etc. Matthew has made a commitment to give away an increasing percentage of their income year after year!

Saving - there is saving for the long-term and saving for emergencies in the short term. The more you save early, that money builds and compounds over time!

Investing - it takes money to make money. Look for opportunities to use your money to invest into the development of industries that make money. You can be aggressive or conservative with those investments - basic principle: don’t put all your investment “eggs” in one basket - important to diversify your investments.

Spending - using the resources that the Lord has blessed you with to enjoy life - if you like shoes, buy shoes…if you like drinking coffee, buy coffee - but be wise in how you spend your money and don’t let your money and the things that you buy control your life!

Debt - the basic principle is to work to LIMIT debt. Three things to pay attention to:

• Credit cards - pay these off first, highest interest rate. Look at credit cards like cash.

Delayed gratification - you don’t always have to have everything you want right when you want it - save up for things, delay that gratification until you can afford it.

Make sure you have conversations about money, finances, etc. if you’re in a relationship with another person to make sure you’re both on the same page!

GUEST: Will May

Wisdom comes with age and experience…but, get wisdom as young and quickly as possible!

Proverbs 23:23 - Buy wisdom (truth) and never sell it.

Billy Graham - knowledge is horizontal (something you can get from others), wisdom is vertical (something drawn down from God).

Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Will - major struggle for man is pride, self-reliance. Wisdom is the recognition that you need help, that you don’t know what’s best! The fear of the Lord means that you take what God says about you, life, etc…and begin your understanding there, not with your own experience.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (or make your paths straight).

To gain wisdom, start with the fear of the Lord, then what?

• Pursue relationships with other godly men (think older men) whom you can learn from

Find people who are “successful” and learn from them - contact them, set up an appointment, take a notebook and pen, ask intelligent questions.

Non-biblical, but practical “proverbs”:

• Most people listen, few people execute, champions make habits

Wisdom - the art of taking something complex and making it simple. Don’t complicate things - don’t take simple things and make them more complex!

Alistair Begg - Proverbs is godliness in working clothes.

Guest: Will May

Proverbs 14:23 - Work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty!

Will - my dad taught me the value of hard work and the value of taking responsibility

How do you develop a strong and consistent work ethic? By working.

Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…

What’s your “motivation” for work?

• External motivation - money, fame, power, etc…

Great Commission - Matthew 28:16-20

Go and make disciples - or could be understood as “as you go” - so you can “make disciples” in whatever you’re doing!

What kinds of things are you looking for when you hire someone?

• “Nobody ever looks better than the day that you hire them”

Intelligence and Character - at this point in your life, you’re probably not going to get much more of in your life!

Dan - the sign of intelligence is the ability to ask a good question

Are there dumb questions? YES!!!

Work ethic - starts with working hard…then can move to working smart. Are you engaged in your job and company, are you a self-starter or do you need to be told what to do?

Hard work includes understanding the value of REST…and recharging. 

Will - try to figure out how to stick out a job for at least 12 months - don’t always look at the proverbial “greener” grass on the other side.

Will - think “cross-functionally”

Leadership Development Pipeline - learn how to lead yourself, then learn how to lead people, 7 different layers of leadership. Think about how to not only improve my role, but how my role can improve the overall company!

Things I can control and Things that matter - Venn diagram - where those two concepts overlap, that’s where you can get involved in making things better that aren’t specifically your responsibility

Will - do the “little things” - think about how what you do affects others - look to not only make yourself successful, but what makes others successful as well?

Recommended resources:

Vivid Vision: A Remarkable Tool for Aligning Your Business Around a Shared Vision of the Future by Cameron Herold

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jacko Willink

Guest: Hunter Dehn

Hunter Dehn Realty

Delayed Gratification - can I put off some things that I want, but don’t need now, to be able to get something better that I’ll need later?

Get your house in order first…get out of debt as fast as possible. Less debt is better than more debt! Watch out for short term, high-interest debt - credit cards can charge outrageous interest rates, be careful!

Hunter - the car you drive doesn’t make you as cool as you think it does!

Renting vs. Buying. You want to rent for the shortest amount of time possible. Rent in order to save money. If you’re paying as much in rent as you would for a home, that’s not a good financial plan! 

When you go get a loan, they’re looking at two things:

1. Debt to income ratio. How much money do you have left after taxes vs. how much debt are you carrying at the time (your existing debt obligations)

Hunter - financial advice - try to have 6 months worth of expenses in savings, just in case

What should I be looking for in a home?

Location is the most important decision - try to be as close to the things that you’re going to be doing all the time, within reason. Some people are handy and can add value to a new home that needs a little work, others need to purchase a move-in ready home. Know what your skill set is. Handy, but don’t know how to do things - find a YouTube video - but be careful of DYI plumbing and electrical work!

Homes in Texas - moved from pier and beam foundations to slab foundations. Cast iron pipes in a slab foundation that crack and break over time can cost a lot of money to repair. Get a plumber to check the pipes and also look out for potential foundation problems.

Real Estate - you want a LOCAL expert in the housing market. A realtor can help you with the paperwork and legal issues no matter where they are located, but only a local expert understands the local housing market. Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish (don’t save a “little” that will end up costing you a lot more!).

Hunter - find a good, knowledgeable lender. Start by getting your credit score in order. Develop a good credit history - don’t let your credit amount get above 50% of your credit limit - and make sure you are paying off your credit card monthly. Lenders want to see that you’re a good investment - a responsible borrower who makes their payments on time.

Guest: James Emery White

Pastor, Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC

President of Serious Times a ministry that explores the intersection of faith and culture, find more about this at ChurchandCulture.org

Find someone further down the road - get into a mentoring relationship!

In life, God doesn’t often give clarity. He wants you to trust Him and walk by faith, not by sight.

Where are your giftings and passions - and how is God going to weave the way that He’s created you into a life path and career?! Your gifts tell you what to do, your passions tell you where.

There is a big difference between success and significance. Significance is what we’re really made for - making a difference in this one and only life!

Historical mentoring - read biographies of men who lived life well. Dr. White recommended one book that influenced his life - Borden of Yale.

Advice on relationships with women - don’t compromise. Don’t date someone that you know that you should not marry (a person who is not a believer, Scripture speaks to the issue of being “unequally yoked” or connected your life with a person who does not have Christ at the center of their life). Second biggest decision in life - who you’re going to marry. Don’t play around with this decision. What you’re looking for is someone who becomes more attractive to you the more you get to know them and spend time with them - the concept of “inward beauty.” More important thing in a relationship is to be “one in Christ.”

Advice on relationships with guys - when you spend time with someone, are you being influenced or are you the influencer - be honest, are you getting sharpened by spending time with that person?! Do I walk away wanting to do more for Jesus…or a little less loving and generous? Be honest with how others influence you. Guy, also don’t discount the influence of both older men and women - for example, The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, great book for everyone to read.

Dr. White is the author of more than 20 books - here are the 8 books of his that I’ve read and recommend:

A Mind for God

Serious Times

A Traveler's Guide to the Kingdom

Meet Generation Z

A Search for the Spiritual

Wrestling with God

Embracing the Mysterious God

The DaVinci Question