Transcripts

At the beginning of Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax, the Once-ler says, “I meant no harm. I most truly did not. But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.” Biggering, it turns out, is the default setting for most of us. For years, Leidy Klotz, author of Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, has studied how we transform things from how they are to how we want them to be. Both his research and the Once-ler’s tale relay similar sentiments: we gravitate towards adding and systematically neglect subtracting. This remains true even when subtracting might add considerable value to our lives!

On this episode of POTC, Yael and Leidy discuss the science supporting addition by subtraction. Listen to this episode today to learn how to be deliberate in your choices, subtract what’s no longer serving you, and add value to your life in the process!

Listen and Learn:

Yael and Diana discuss the role of values and subtraction in their personal lives 

The values reinforcing Leidy’s life journey to “less”

The important distinction between “less” and “subtraction”

What happens to subtraction options when we're under pressure

Why we tend to add when subtracting is the better option

Practical advice for being more deliberate in your choices

Important differences between saying “no” and subtracting

The story behind Leidy’s interdisciplinary approach to behavioral science

Evidence based advice for subtracting in your personal life

How to be more deliberate about making subtractive changes at a global level

Resources:

Buy Leidy’s book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less

Check out Leidy's experimental findings in his Nature paper, "People systematically overlook subtractive changes."

Learn more about the KonMari Method 

Check out Dr. Seuss's book, The Lorax 

Attend Diana’s Values-Rich Living Retreat! 

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Find out more from the co-hosts, Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s by heading to their websites where you'll get access to their offerings, can sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Leidy Klotz

Leidy Klotz, PhD, studies how we transform things from how they are to how we want them to be. His research on the science of design has appeared in both Nature and Science, and he has written for The Washington Post, Fast Company, LitHub, The Globe and Mail, and The Behavioral Scientist. Leidy’s work applies whenever we are designing and problem-solving, whether for climate change, art, parenting, or personal finance. The range of implications of Leidy’s research have been highlighted in outlets including The Wall Street Journal, Grist, The Boston Globe, and national newspapers on five continents.

A professor at the University of Virginia, Leidy has authored more than 80 original research articles and secured more than $10 million dollars in competitive funding to support his and others’ work in this area. Recognized nationally as a professor who inspires, Leidy has taught thousands of students, including 21 Ph.D. advisees, whose designing and teaching shapes the world. Before becoming a professor, Leidy designed schools in New Jersey and before that he played professional soccer. Buy his latest book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, and follow him on Twitter @Leidyklotz!  

Related Podcast Episodes:

Episode 45. Rest with Alex Pang

Episode 73. Essentialism with Greg McKeown

Episode 99. Make the Most of Your Time with Laura Vanderkam

Episode 130. Working Less with Alex Pang

Episode 182. Do More With Less: How to Stretch in Work and Life with Scott Sonenshein

In recent years, mindfulness has become a buzzword in Western culture. A recent study by the CDC found that mindfulness was the fastest growing trend in complementary healthcare, and more than merely a buzzword, mindfulness is currently a multibillion dollar industry. Deirdre Fay, author of Becoming Safely Embodied, has dedicated her career to exploring the intersection of trauma, attachment, and yoga and meditation. In this episode of POTC, Diana and Deirdre discuss her radically positive approach to healing trauma and provide practical strategies for becoming safely embodied. Join us in this episode for real-time yoga practices, evidence-based mindfulness skills, and more!

Listen and Learn:

Diana and Debbie discuss different approaches to connecting to our bodies and emotions

Deirdre’s personal experience becoming safely embodied and expert definition of what that means

The evidence-based skills involved in Deirdre’s skills-based approach to embodiment 

How Deirdre cultivates a sense of belonging (and why this is so important!)

Seven fundamental attachment needs and practical advice on fulfilling them

Real-time yoga practices to become more safely embodied

The evidence behind physicalization

Diana and Deirdre’s experiences integrating practice into their personal lives

Mindfulness, the risks involved, and how to mediate them

Resources:

Grab a copy of Deirdre’s books, Becoming Safely Embodied, Attachment-Based Yoga, & Meditation for Trauma Recovery

Attend Diana’s Values-Rich Living Retreat! 

Attend Diana’s Weekly, FREE, Live Online Talk and Meditation  

Read Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nester

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Deirdre Fay:

Deirdre Fay

Deirdre Fay, MSW, has decades of experience exploring the intersection of trauma, attachment, yoga and meditation, and teaches “a radically positive approach to healing trauma”. Deirdre’s most recent book, Becoming Safely Embodied became a best-seller before it was published. It’s based on the BSE groups she started in 1996 and continues to lead online. She is also the author of Attachment-Based Yoga & Meditation for Trauma Recovery, co-author of Attachment Disturbances for Adults, as well as the co-author of chapters in Neurobiological Treatments of Traumatic Dissociation. A former supervisor at The Trauma Center, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute trainer from 2000–2008, certified in Internal Family Therapy, qualified trainer in Mindful Self-Compassion, former board member of the New England Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, and trained in Self-Awakening Yoga and LifeForce Yoga, Deirdre is a respected international teacher and mentor for working safely with the body. She currently resides in France.

Related Episodes:

Episode 53. Yoga For Trauma With Deirdre Fay

Episode 129. Yoga for All and Body Kindness with Jennifer Webb

Episode 15 (Part 1) and Episode 16 (Part 2) of Embodiment 

Episode 37. Post-Traumatic Growth with Diana and Debbie

The Olympic Games provide excellent examples of people under pressure. This pressure has led to some inspiring wins, and one can only imagine the pride parents of Olympic medalists must have when watching their child succeed. However, pressure can also negatively impact one’s performance - leading to disappointment, anxiety, and hopelessness. In this episode of POTC, Yael and Dr. Hank Weisinger, author of The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure, discuss how “stress” and “pressure” are often used synonymously but lead to very different outcomes. In fact, the APA defines stress as the physiological or psychological response to internal or external stressors and pressure as excessive or stressful demands, imagined or real. Join Hank and Yael for a conversation about how to think about stress and pressure, how to manage them, and much more! Give your Olympic-hopeful a squeeze, and join us to learn value-based approaches for pushing yourself and your loved ones to be their best!

Listen and Learn:

Yael and Debbie discuss workable aspects of stress 

Dr. Weisinger’s expert break-down of pressure, what it is, how it interferes with our performance, and how to manage it

The evolutionary function to our pressure response

Important differences between pressure and stress

“Pressure traps” and how they can trip you up

Dr. Weisinger’s thoughts on the Yerkes Dodson Curve

How to befriend a stressful moment

Practical advice on connecting to your values to improve your performance

Dr. Weisinger’s pressure solutions, from thinking about multiple opportunities to shrinking the importance of a moment

Reframing how you think about your performance using Ranking Mindset vs. Excellence Mindset

Practical advice for parents who fear their kids aren’t doing their best (even when they say they are!)

Dr. Weisinger’s thoughts on applying pressure to our kids

Expert-approved tips and tricks for upping your parental performance

Resources:

Buy Dr. Weisinger’s The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure Lib/E: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be Their Best Self

Check out Dr. Kelly McGonigal’s The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It 

Learn more about the Gottman Institute 

Understand the Yerkes-Dodson Curve 

Attend Diana’s Values-Rich Living Retreat! 

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Hank Weisinger

Dr. Hank Weisinger is a creator, innovator, practitioner, influential psychologist, and two -time New York Times bestselling author. Performing under pressure, giving and taking criticism, managing emotions, responding effectively to the feelings and emotions of others, motivating oneself and others, and resolving conflict are all “emotional intelligence skills” that are part of Dr. Weisinger’s expertise that has been recognized and sought out by leading business schools, influential government agencies, Fortune 500 Companies and dozens of professional organizations such as The Young Presidents’ Organization. 

With the publication of his recent New York Times Bestseller Performing Under Pressure, Dr. Weisinger introduces the concepts of “pressure management” and “pressure coaching” to the corporate world and executive education programs with the major revelation that contrary to conventional wisdom, nobody performs better under pressure – not even Jordan, Jeter and Brady! To bring this knowledge to more people, Dr. Weisinger has transformed Performing Under Pressure into a state of the art empowering E-Course Workshop Experience for businesses and students! For more information on Dr. Weisinger, visit his website at hankweisingerphd.com. Buy his most recent book, The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure Lib/E: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be T...

When it comes to serious illness, we might assume that medical treatment is where it's at. And of course, when it comes to medical illness, medical treatment is central. But research also shows that talk therapy can help improve health, extend life, and make it easier to tolerate many of the challenges of illness. On today’s episode of POTC, Yael and Elizabeth Cohn Stuntz, co-author with Marsha Linehan of Coping with Cancer, discuss the usefulness of one such talk therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT offers concrete, simple skills to deal with serious medical illness. From managing pain to communicating with providers and loved ones, Liz offers on-the-ground strategies that you can put into action today to help manage health, prolong life, and make meaning. Listen in for an expert-breakdown of evidence-backed skills and practical advice you can put into practice to help yourself or loved ones struggling with serious illness.

Listen and Learn:

Yael and Debbie discuss the usefulness of skills like emotion regulation for extreme, stressful, or scary health-related situations 

The role of evidence-based psychological interventions in the world of medical treatment

Why DBT is particularly useful for managing severe medical illnesses

Expert definitions and explanations of DBT basics 

The DBT practices Liz has used in her personal life

Practical advice for dialing down emotions when they become too intense 

How to use your Wise Mind to make values-rich choices

How you can wisely and flexibly select from a menu of useful skills

Expert-advice for those who struggle with self-critical narratives that interfere with interpersonal functioning

Liz’s favorite DBT skills for practicing self-kindness and helping others 

How to be effective in relationships with medical providers and loved ones

Connecting with meaning while struggling with illness 

DBT training resources for clinicians, patients, and loved ones 

Resources:

Read Liz’s book, Coping with Cancer: DBT Skills to Manage Your Emotions--and Balance Uncertainty with Hope

Sign up for more information on Liz’s DBT training for clinicians, patients, and loved ones

Attend Diana’s Values-Rich Living Retreat! 

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Elizabeth Cohn Stuntz:

Elizabeth Cohn Stuntz, LCSW-R, trained in social work at Smith College prior to earning her psychoanalytic certification. After this, she studied Zen, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and the application of neuroscience to psychotherapy, integrating these perspectives into her clinical practice and the ways she teaches coping with adversity. She frequently presents on topics related to coping skills, psychoanalysis, and DBT. Liz currently works as a psychotherapist and teacher in Mamaroneck, New York. Make sure to grab a copy of the book she co-authored with Marsha Linehan, Coping with Cancer: DBT Skills to Manage Your Emotions--and Balance Uncertainty with Hope. 

Related Episodes:

Episode 108. Is Your Self-Control Out of Control? Radically Open DBT with Hope Arnold (part 1)

Episode 109. How to Loosen Up and Be Less Overcontrolled: Radically Open DBT with Hope Arnold (part 2)   

Episode 117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A conversation About Grief with Joanne Cacciatore

Episode 120. Use DBT Skills To Regulate Emotions And Be More Effective In Relationships With Matthew McKay

Episode 157. The Art of Dying Well with Katy Butler

The World Health Organization includes burnout in its International Classification of Diseases and defines it as work-induced stress leading to exhaustion and cynicism. If you find yourself experiencing symptoms of burnout, you might try many things to get rid of them. For example, you might try engaging in large amounts of rest, meditation, or relaxation exercises. In contrast, you might try to rid yourself of burnout symptoms by engaging in even more work. Each of these strategies would likely provide you with some short-term relief, but eventually the symptoms of burnout would reemerge, leaving you just as exhausted and cynical as before (if not more!). In this episode of POTC, co-hosts Debbie and Jill discuss the causes of burnout and provide practical approaches to preventing and finding relief from its symptoms. You’ve fought the good fight. Now, put your feet up and listen in to learn more about finding peace and joy in your work today!

Listen and Learn:

An expert-approved definition of burnout

Three hallmark signs and symptoms of burnout 

The pandemic’s impacts on burnout

Practical, pragmatic approaches to self-care

Overlaps and distinctions between compassion fatigue and burnout

Debbie and Jill’s personal experiences with burnout

Actionable steps for professionals, caregivers, and parents who are experiencing burnout but still have bills to pay 

Skills for preventing burnout

Short- and long-term consequences of burnout-related behaviors

How and why certain exercises fail to "fix" burnout in the long run

Debbie defines institutional betrayal and talks about the impact of minority stress on burnout

How you can push against, and work toward changing, the systemic issues that cause burnout

Resources:

Check out Debbie's website and buy her book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy  

Attend Debbie’s webinar on ACT for Burnout!

Look here for more information on the work of David Whyte 

Try some of these exercises to identify and move toward your values

Find out more about Christina Maslach, the original investigator of burnout

Attend Diana’s Values-Rich Living Retreat! 

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Debbie Sorensen and Jill Stoddard:

Debbie Sorensen, co-founder and co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, is a clinical  psychologist with a Ph.D. in psychology from Harvard University and a private therapy practice in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in providing individual Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for adults. In addition to private practice, she holds a part-time appointment as a Clinical Research Psychologist at the Rocky Mountain MIRECC for Suicide Prevention. She currently lives in Colorado, her home state, and where she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, travel, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Colorado Rockies with her family and dog. Check out her and co-host Diana Hill’s book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. 

Jill Stoddard earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University where she trained at the highly regarded Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders under the mentorship of Dr. David Barlow and Dr. Stefan Hofmann. She is founder and director of The Center for Stress & Anxiety Management, co-founder and vice president of the non-profit San Diego Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Consortium, and member-at-large for The Association of Contextual and Behavioral Sciences (ACBS). Dr. Stoddard specializes in the treatment of anxiety and related disorders and has expertise in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She is an award winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer,

Eve answers listener questions about creating partner equality at home in this follow up Fair Play episode.

Children and their parents have struggled mightily with mental health during the pandemic. Now, in this new phase of the pandemic, we are beginning to rebuild and re-envision our lives with bravery and resilience. Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned educator, award-winning author, and parenting child expert recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen children’s character, resilience, and reduce peer cruelty. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael and Michele discuss Thriving and the character strengths it takes to be one. Join us to learn practical strategies proven to help children build those character strengths and thrive in their lives.

Listen and Learn:

Yael and Jill’s personal experiences with thriving and how they approach this topic with their kiddos

Michele’s expert-based definition of what it means to be a Thriver

The character strengths of Thrivers

How to thrive in real life (warts and weaknesses in tow!)

Practical advice to foster bravery and resilience in children

On-the-ground, proven strategies parents can apply to help ALL kids develop the characteristics of thriving (read: even those with hormonal imbalances or de-stabilizing life experiences)

Michele and Yael’s thoughts on creating environments where your children might most easily thrive

Following your kids’ passions and allowing them to develop hobbies and how to set up useful boundaries in the meantime (we see you, Fortnite and Minecraft parents!)

The usefulness of cutting one thing out of your activity list for the week

Everything you need to know about the important differences between self-confidence and self-esteem

Michele’s expert tips on praising your kids in ways that support the development of self-confidence rather than inflating their ego

Practical strategies for what to do in real-life, tricky situations where you must balance fostering perseverance or “bubble-wrapping”

How to best support thriving and the development of resilience in children who have experienced varying forms of trauma

Michele’s (surprising!) favorite movie and book recommendations for inspiring your kids

Resources:

Michele’s book, Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine 

Alison Gopnik’s book, The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us about the Relationship Between Parents and Children and its accompanying workbook

Michele’s book recommendation, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Attend Debbie’s webinar on ACT for Burnout!

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Dr. Michele Borba:

Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned educator, award-winning author, and parenting child expert recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen children’s character, resilience, and reduce peer cruelty. A sought-after motivational speaker, she has spoken in 19 countries and five continents, and served as a consultant to hundreds of schools and corporations. She offers realistic, research-based advice culled from a career working with over one million parents and educators worldwide. Dr. Borba is an NBC contributor who has appeared over 150 times on the TODAY show and countless others. Michele is recognized globally for her work in bullying and youth violence prevention and is currently a media spokesperson for several major corporations. She is the award-winning author of 24 books translated into 19 languages including her latest book (spring 2021) Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine and its accompanying workbook.

Michele is a former classroom and special education teacher with a wide range of teaching experience,

In 2020, the global market for anti-aging products was estimated at US$52.5 Billion and is projected to reach US$83.2 Billion by 2027. Some of this market is certainly due to ageism, pseudoscience, and harmful marketing practices. However, ideas around aging (and the way it’s portrayed in media and marketing) seem to be changing for the better, and some anti-aging techniques are showing great promise. Dr. Andrew Steele, author of Ageless, has dedicated his professional career to identifying factors that age us. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, he and Diana discuss the science behind why we grow old and the evidence-based approaches individuals of all ages can use to target those aging factors. Join us in this episode to learn basic strategies you can implement to inhibit the aging process and enhance your quality of life today!

Listen and Learn:

Diana and Debbie’s thoughts on the pseudoscience and fear that typically fosters ageism and the evidence-based approaches to healthy aging

Andrew’s expert description of the humanitarian science of aging (and why it’s so important we study this right now!)

Ten key factors that contribute to aging and evidence-based ways to target them

What evolutionary neglect is and why we have evolved to grow old

Andrew’s expert explanation of senescent cells and practical advice for targeting them 

Basic strategies you can implement today to inhibit the aging process and enhance your quality of life

New and incoming interventions designed to increase telomere length

The psychological impacts of living longer 

The values underlying Andrew’s mission of building respectful, supportive communities for the elderly

Easy anti-aging practices young people can implement into their daily routine

Resources:

Andrew’s book, Ageless: The New Science of Getting Older Without Getting Old 

Elizabeth Blackburn and Elissa Epel’s book, The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier, Longer 

Attend Debbie’s webinar on ACT for Burnout!

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

Dr. Andrew Steele

About Andrew Steele:

After obtaining a PhD in physics from the University of Oxford, Dr. Andrew Steele decided that ageing was the most important scientific challenge of our time, and switched fields to computational biology. He worked at the Francis Crick Institute, using machine learning to decode our DNA and predict heart attacks using patients' medical records. He is now a full-time science writer and presenter based in London. He has appeared on Discovery and the BBC. Follow him on instagram @andrewjsteele, twitter @statto, and facebook @DrAndrewSteele.  Read his Psychology Today interview, and check out his Today Show appearance

Related Episodes:

Episode 125. Why We Age and the Science of Longevity with David Sinclair

Episode 13. Healthy Aging and the Brain 

Episode 194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims

Episode 174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-Levin

For many years now, college students have been experiencing a mental health crisis. The events of the past year have only worsened this crisis, and according to experts, it’s not getting better. Transitioning from adolescence into adulthood while simultaneously transitioning from high-school to university living is never going to be easy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful and worthwhile. Dr. Nic Hooper, an expert in clinical psychology, wrote The Unbreakable Student as a guide to help students navigate these transitions in meaningful, value-informed ways. On this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Nic and Debbie discuss the unique challenges university students face and how values can help students overcome those challenges. Join us for practical advice on embracing your university adventure today!

Listen and Learn:

Debbie and Diana's thoughts about the unique challenges of the college student phase of life

The sweet story behind Nic’s book, The Unbreakable Student

Nic’s evidence-informed list of the unique challenges that arise during the transition from adolescence to adulthood

Six areas of wellbeing and how they impact university students

Practical, evidence-based, advice for overcoming common university hurdles like procrastination, test anxiety, and more!

Self-care strategies for the high-achieving student and how to talk about self-care to the beloved high-achievers in your life

Practical, expert-approved, advice on how to fully embrace your university adventure

The one piece of insightful advice Nic would give to his younger self 

Resources:

Buy Nic’s books, The Unbreakable Student: 6 Rules for Staying Sane at University, The Acceptance and Commitment Diary (published annually), and The Research Journey of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Check out Nic’s website nichooper.co.uk, and follow him on twitter @nichooper7!

Attend Debbie’s webinar on ACT for Burnout!

Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.

Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! 

About Nic Hooper:

Dr. Nic Hooper is an expert in clinical psychology and a senior lecturer at the University of the West of England in Bristol. He has authored many scientific articles, book chapters and books, including The Acceptance and Commitment Diary (published annually) and The Research Journey of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Nic is also a co-director of Connect, which is an organization that offers a psychological wellbeing curriculum for primary school children. In 2017, inspired by his students, Nic began to write a book of life advice to his son, Max, which was to be given to him on his eighteenth birthday. Over time, that book slowly transformed into The Unbreakable Student. Visit his website, nichooper.co.uk, and follow him on twitter @nichooper7 for updates, resources, and more! 

Related Episodes:

Episode 189. Imposter Syndrome with Jill and Debbie

Episode 193. Heal Unhealthy Striving with Diana and Yael

Episode 182. Do More With Less: How to Stretch in Work and Life with Scott Sonenshein

Episode 172. Performing Under Pressure with Sian Beilock

Episode 65. Self-care, Kindness, and Living Well with Kelly Wilson

A psychology podcast episode about reducing the risk of addiction in kids and teens.