Transcripts

Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, teaching us that compassion involves kindness, mindfulness and common humanity. In her new book,  Fierce Self-Compassion,  Kristin explores the balance between tender self-compassion and action oriented self-compassion. 

 “Sometimes compassion means standing up, saying, ‘no, you are treating me unfairly’ and setting boundaries.”

Kristin Neff

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Diana and Kristin discuss the duality of self-compassion, women and anger, and the inner power needed to stand up and protect what you care about. Listen in and harness your kindness, claim your power, and thrive today!

Listen and Learn:

A breakdown for beginners - Diana defines “Yin”, “Yang”, “Kali”, and “Durga” and discuss their metaphors for self-compassion

Kristin Neff’s expert description of the yin and yang of self-compassion

The role the feminist movement has played in racism and oppression and what this has to do with fierce self-compassion

Nuances of feminine energy and how those nuances are embodied in different goddesses 

How to access and embrace your feminine energy (read: how to balance your yin and yang and why it’s important to do so!)

Kristin’s personal experience finding wholeness and developing self-compassion amidst divorce, single parenthood, and tumultuous work experiences

When and why emotions traditionally dissociated from femininity (e.g., anger) are useful

The functionality of fierce self-compassion and practical advice for embracing it in your own life

Kristin and her friend, Angela Duckworth’s (check out our episode with her where we discuss Grit) thoughts on the bind women find themselves in when it comes to likeability and competence

Kristin’s expert, research-based definition of self-compassion

Why self-compassion is so difficult to achieve 

How Kristin’s personal experiences have informed her perspective on women, relationships, compassion, and wholeness

Practical advice on how to use your values to inform your balancing behavior

What it means to be a compassionate mess and why it should be your goal

Resources:

Kristin’s book, Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive

Learn more about goddesses who embrace feminine energy: Kali, Durga, Sekhmet, and Diana 

The Origins and Nature of Compassion Focused Therapy by Paul Gilbert

Diana and Debbie’s book, ACT Daily Journal 

Diana will be hosting a workshop on Compassion and ACT: Acceptance, Allowing, & Making Space where you will learn to use journaling, meditation & embodied yoga practice to explore Acceptance through compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff

About Kristin Neff:

Kristin Neff is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion almost twenty years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. Her newest work focuses on how to balance self-acceptance with the courage to make needed change. In June 2021, she will publish Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive.

For more information on Kristin Neff please visit her website, self-compassion.org.

Related Episodes:

Episode 145. Caring, Compassion, and Cooperation with Paul Gilbert

Episode 147. Extending Compassion with Janina Scarlet and S...

As co-hosts, this podcast has provided many opportunities to interview incredibly high-achieving people. Our line-up has included authors, designers, artists, academics, scientists, doctors, lawyers, CEO’s, and more! We’ve had these individuals on the show to discuss topics such as humans' yearning to belong, steps we can take to begin mending racial trauma, and femininity in the modern world, and throughout these interviews, a common question arises: What does it take to become the kind of high-achieving individual we frequently interview?

In this special 200th episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Angela Duckworth, founder and CEO of Character Lab and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, and Yael discuss grit and how it’s associated with high achievement. By combining passion and perseverance in the pursuit of a singular goal, many have found success. Join us in this episode to learn more about what it takes to succeed and how you can grow grit in your own life today!

Listen and Learn:

The joy we feel in reaching our 200th episode and the passion and perseverance (read: Grit) it took to get here

Diana’s personal experience using her values to guide her grit (and when and how you can do the same!)

The values that continue to guide our podcast’s growth

A peek inside Angela and Stephen’s podcast, No Stupid Questions

Angela’s expert definition of grit and how it is associated with achievement

How grit and parenthood can build upon and strengthen one another

The importance of values in your relationship with perseverance 

Some differences between how interpersonal skills, likeability, and grit each lend themselves to success

Practical advice for knowing “when to grit” and “when to quit”

Yael’s expert break-down of how grit works with principles of ACT

Angela’s simple, evidence-based recommendations for growing grit

Resources:

Angela’s book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Angela’s TED talk (one of the most-viewed TED talks of all time!)

Angela and Stephen Dubner’s podcast, No Stupid Questions

Katy Milkman’s book, How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Robert Cialdini’s book, Influence, New and Expanded: The Psychology of Persuasion

Adam Grant’s book, Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know

Daniel Kahneman’s book, Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment 

Elizabeth Nyamayaro’s book, I Am a Girl from Africa    

Esther Wojcicki’s book, How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results 

About Dr. Angela Duckworth:

Angela Duckworth, PhD, is the founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit whose mission is to advance scientific insights that help children thrive. She is also the Rosa Lee and Egbert Chang Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, faculty co-director of the Penn-Wharton Behavior Change for Good Initiative, and faculty co-director of Wharton People Analytics. Angela completed her undergraduate degree in Advanced Studies Neurobiology at Harvard, graduating magna cum laude. With the support of a Marshall Scholarship, she completed an MSc with Distinction in Neuroscience from Oxford University. She completed her PhD in Psychology as a National Science Foundation Graduate Fellow at the University of Pennsylvania.

A 2013 MacArthur Fellow, Angela has advised the World Bank, NBA and NFL teams, and Fortune 500 CEOs. Prior to her career in research, Angela founded a summer school for underserved children that was profiled as a Harvard Kennedy School case study and, in 2018, celebrated its 25th anniversary. She has also been a McKinsey management consultant and a math and science teacher at public schools in New York City, San Francisco, and Philadelphia.

Angela’s TED talk is among the most-viewed of all time. Her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance is a #1 New York Times best seller. Angela is also co-host, with Stephen Dubner,

When our innate yearning for belongingness is unmet or mismanaged, we might question or worthiness or act inconsistently with our values. Dr. Meg McKelvie talks to us about how to cultivate a sense of belonging from the inside out, and outside in.

On the one-year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd, we share a powerful poem by Dr. Jennifer Shepard Payne, and Carynne Williams tells the story of her mission to help clinicians of color access trauma trainings.

For generations, girls have been taught a certain set of rules. These rules are rooted in harmful, patriarchal ideas about what it means to be feminine. Followers of these rules may be referred to as “Good Girls,” and though following these rules makes us more palatable for society, it makes us quieter, less powerful members of society as well. In fact, inflexibly following these rules can prevent women from engaging with the full extent of their feminine power. Join Jill and Majo Molfino, women’s leadership expert and author of Breaking the Good Girl Myth, as they talk about five “Good Girl” myths, why we continue engaging in them, and how to break them today!

Listen and Learn:

What Jill and Debbie were like as little girls before society’s rules and myths impacted their behavior

Why and how Jill and Debbie have re-embraced some of the behaviors they engaged in as little girls

What Majo was like as a little girl and why she asks each of her podcast guests what they were like as little girls

The “Good Girl” Myths, how they’re rooted in the patriarchy, and how they impact girls and women

Which “Good Girl” Myth might be impacting your behavior right now

Majo’s expert explanation of the spectrum of “Good Girl” Myths

How to recognize and break behavioral cycles rooted in myths about being a “Good Girl”

Why the edge of vulnerability is the sweet spot for growth

Practical advice for breaking preconceived, gender-related rules that are no longer serving you (read: stepping into your feminine power)

The complex web of relations between imposter syndrome, capitalism, and the patriarchy

How Majo uses design principles to influence change in people’s lives

Some big rules Jill and Majo have broken that have changed their lives for the better

The positive aspects and strengths related to the “Good Girl” Myths and how to use them for your benefit

Resources:

Check out Majo’s podcast, Heroine where she interviews top female leaders, creatives, and visionaries

Take Jill’s imposter quiz to find out exactly what kind of imposter YOU are

Buy Majo’s book, Break the Good Girl Myth: How to Dismantle Outdated Rules, Unleash Your Power, and Design a More Purposeful Life 

Buy Jill’s book, Be Mighty 

Participate in Majo's meditations here.

About Majo Molfino:

Majo Molfino is an Argentine American author, designer, and women's leadership expert. She's the host of the Heroine Podcast, featuring top female leaders, creatives, and visionaries. Her leadership program, Ignite, guides women to design and share a creative dream with the world. With a master’s in Design from Stanford University and a bachelor's degree in psychology with a minor in cultural studies from McGill University, she supports women in designing their creative purpose without quitting their day jobs. She lives in California with her husband. Buy her book, Breaking the Good Girl Myth, take her free feminine power quiz, and take advantage of her free meditations through her website, majomolfino.com.   

Related Episodes:

Episode 121. Be Mighty: An Episode for Stressed Out, Worried Women with Jill Stoddard

Episode 163. The Likeability Trap with Alicia Menendez 

Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith

Episode 176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky

Debbie talks with behavioral scientist Jon Levy about his new book You're Invited: The Art and Science of Cultivating Influence.

Today’s world is more digitally-based than ever before, and in this digital world, brands are constantly marketing their products to you. This constant, often covert marketing can negatively impact vulnerable consumers. In fact, this has become such a problem that in recent years the Federal Trade Commission has cracked down on influencers and celebrities disclosing their relationship with brands. Now more than ever it is important that we as both consumers and marketers be conscientious and knowledgeable of our marketing practices. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman, founders of Pop Neuro and authors of Blindsight, talk with Diana about the neuroscience of marketing. Take a break from scrolling, and join us in this episode to learn more about the neuroscience of marketing and how it impacts you, today!

Listen and Learn:

Diana and Jill’s take on neuromarketing and how psychology influences our lives through media

The history behind Matt and Prince’s collaboration 

Why Matt and Prince chose to combine their knowledge of neuroscience and marketing and how they did it

What a mental model is (and how marketing capitalizes on them!)

Practical advice for making your marketing more memorable 

A sneak peak inside Matt and Prince’s book

How Matt and Prince used principles from neuroscience in the creation of their book and why those principles keep you interested in reading it

Life hacks on why some products more or less addictive

Why Matt and Prince are passionate about educating consumers on marketing practices and how they put that passion into practice in their book

How and why branding is impactful

What in marketing makes us like some things more than other things

The positive (and negative) ways we communicate through marketing

What neural coupling is and how it affects you 

The future of marketing, where it’s going, and where it is right now

Expert-approved skills and strategies that Matt and Prince use as both consumers and marketers for their ‘digital well-being’

Resources:

A 4-1-1 on what the Coke vs Pepsi Challenge was all about  

Take The Big Five Personality Test 

Check out Prince’s Ted Talk 

Make sure to grab a copy of Prince and Matt’s’ book, Blindsight: The (Mostly) Hidden Ways Marketing Reshapes Our Brains

Interested in becoming certified in neuromarketing? Sign up for their bootcamp!

Read their blog to stay updated on all the recent news with neuromarketing   

Follow Pop Neuro on Twitter (@Pop_Neuro) and on Instagram (@Pop.Neuro)

About Pop Nuero, Matt, and Prince:

Pop Neuro reveals the deeper, neuroscientific, and psychological blueprint behind consumer behavior and neuromarketing. Based on 25+ years of combined experience, it’s the brainchild of consumer neuroscientist Matt Johnson, PhD, and neuromarketer Prince Ghuman.

Matt Johnson, PhD is a professor at Hult International Business School, where his research focuses on the application of neuroscience and psychology to marketing. He received his BA from UC San Diego, and his PhD in Cognitive Psychology from Princeton University. A contributor to major news outlets including Forbes, Entrepreneur, Business Insider, and VICE and writer for Psychology Today, he regularly provides expert opinion and thought leadership on a range of topics related to the human side of business. He advises both start-ups and large brands in his native Bay Area, and has served as an expert-in-residence to Nike’s Innovation Team in Portland, Oregon. Along with co-author Prince Ghuman, Johnson founded PopNeuro.com for anyone interested in approachable consumer psychology. Follow Matt on Twitter (@MattJohnsonIsMe) or LinkedIn!   

Prince Ghuman’s journey into marketing started during his studies at the University of California at San Diego. His first startup, Potenza, was the first of its kind, a brand of caffeinated water.

Our mission at Psychologists Off the Clock is to bring evidence-based psychological treatments and practices to the public. One of our favorite treatments is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or ACT, pronounced as one word).

In this episode, ACT experts, authors, and POTC co-hosts Diana and Debbie discuss how you can use ACT to get unstuck and thrive! Diana and Debbie's new book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, breaks ACT processes and strategies down into simple, fun, and actionable steps. Yael chats with Debbie and Diana about how you can start implementing ACT strategies into your life starting today.

Join the conversation to learn ACT as a beginner or to beef up your existing ACT toolbox!

Listen and Learn:

POTC’s resident Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) experts’ definition and break down of this therapeutic approach 

All about Diana and Debbie’s book and how it can help you thrive in your own life. here and now

Debbie and Diana’s personal experiences with ACT, writing, and the development of their book

Practical advice on fostering psychological flexibility and building value-based habits into your day

Why this book is different than any other book you’ll find on ACT

How Diana and Debbie packed empirical, evidence-based information into digestible, bite-sized stories and exercises for the ultimate ACT-informed self-help book  

Practical advice for folks who feel they might lack the discipline to engage in self-help work

Why self-compassion is so important to building psychological flexibility 

Some examples of the six core ACT processes in action

Why it’s so challenging to be present and expert-approved tips and tricks to engage in present-moment awareness

The personal elements Debbie and Diana (including insider information on the egg-related stories that got cut)

About some of the biggest challenges you might face when putting ACT processes into practices

A goodie for you! Diana and Debbie each read a vignette to give you a taste of what’s inside their book!

Resources:

Make sure to grab a copy of Debbie and Diana’s book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and join the Facebook group to get active in learning and discussing: https://www.facebook.com/ACTDailyJournal

And if you’d like to win a free copy of their book, make sure to enter our book giveaway! To enter, write us a review on Apple Podcasts and send us an email (with "Book Giveaway" in the subject line) letting us know you did so at [email protected].

For more information about ongoing and upcoming giveaways, follow us on Instagram at @offtheclockpsych.

About Dr. Diana Hill and Dr. Debbie Sorensen:

Dr. Diana Hill specializes in evidence-based and compassion-focused approaches to living well. She helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of ACT through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, co-authored with Dr. Debbie Sorensen.

Dr. Debbie Sorensen is a psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. In addition to private practice, Debbie works part-time as a clinical research psychologist at the Rocky Mountain Regional VA Medical Center and is a nationally-recognized VA trainer in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Make sure to grab a copy of her book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, co-authored with Dr. Diana Hill.

Related Episodes:

Episode 41. Kissing The Frog: How To Establish a Morning Routine with Diana and Debbie

Episode 75.

A psychology podcast about how to be an adult ("adulting") and how parents can help raise an independent adult.

Throughout the past year, many of us have redefined what it means to “work hard” or “strive” in our own lives. The pandemic and the accompanying social distancing mandates have challenged us to work and live much differently than ever before. For many, this has meant striving more than ever to simultaneously be the perfect employee, parent, partner, or etc. Though striving can often be healthy, many times we engage in unhealthy striving that can leave us feeling exhausted and chronically burnt out. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael and Diana, co-author with Debbie of ACT Daily Journal, discuss healthy and unhealthy striving. They explain the neuroscience behind this behavior and provide some practical advice for noticing and changing unhealthy striving in your life. Reconnect with your values and take the first step toward healthy striving by listening to this episode right now!

Listen and Learn:

Why exploring healthy vs unhealthy components of striving is important to Yael and Diana 

How Diana and Yael started exploring the topic of striving

The signs and symptoms of unhealthy vs. healthy striving 

The neuroscience behind striving

Some examples of what healthy striving might look like in your life

Diana’s expert definition of effortless action and what it means to embody a balance of effort and surrender

Practical advice for moving from competition to collaboration

What the striving cycle looks like as a process in many different domains of life

How values clarification can help break your striving cycle and orient you towards healthier striving

A few red flags that might indicate unhealthy striving patterns (and some resources for when you notice them)

Engage in an experiential exercise with Diana and Yael, and start breaking your pattern of unhealthy striving today! 

Resources:

Check out Diana's blog posts for her wisdom on ACT, mindfulness, and much, much more 

Make sure to pick up Debbie and Diana’s book, ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Join Diana for her free Tuesday Teachings for a live, online talk, movement, and meditation practice led by the master herself

About Diana and Yael:

Dr. Diana Hill

Dr. Diana Hill specializes in evidence-based and compassion-focused approaches to living well. She helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of ACT through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, co-authored with Dr. Debbie Sorensen and coming in May 1, 2021!

Dr. Yael Schonbrun

Dr. Yael Schonbrun is a practicing clinical psychologist and a professor at Brown University. In her clinical practice and in her research, she brings effective treatments to those who are struggling with the transition to parenthood, with relationship problems, depression, anxiety, general unhappiness, substance use, and life stress.

Related Episodes:

Episode 31. DBT for Binge Eating with Debra Safer 

Episode 192. Happier With Tal Ben-Shahar 

Part #1 and Part #2 of our episodes on Neurodharma with Rick Hanson 

Episode 156. The Psychology of Radical Healing Collective with Helen Neville, Hector Adames, Bryana French, and Grace Chen 

Episode 123. Tantrum Survival Guide with Rebecca Schrag Hershberg