Transformational Leadership: From the Insight Out

In this episode, Steve shares a personal story of a difficult situation he recently walked through and how he applied the principles from the podcast on emotional management to bring out a better outcome. 

Transformation Tip: “Persistence and resilience only come from having been given a chance to work through difficult problems.” – Gever Tulley.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Why do we often find it much easier to extend grace to our loved ones than to ourselves? Unfortunately, many of us condemn ourselves for failures, rather than exercising self-compassion. This episode will teach you practical ways to root out negative self-talk and find grace and compassion for yourself through your mistakes and imperfections.

Transformation Tip: “Talk to yourself like someone you love.” - Brene Brown

Self-compassion results in resilience - it keeps your mental state healthy when dealing with difficult situations

Three components of self-compassion:

• Be kind to yourself 
• Common humanity (everyone makes mistakes)
• Mindfulness 

Ways to show yourself compassion:

• Root out negative self-talk 
  • Awareness of negative thought patterns 
• When you get 20/20 hindsight - where does it take you?
  • Failure = “I just learned something”
• Everyone makes mistakes 
  • You are human!
  • Failure is where you learn (growth mindset)
• Mindfulness 
  • Embracing where you are
  • Excepting your experience just the way it is
  • Care for yourself in your present moment 

Transformation Application: Think about one negative narrative that often goes through your mind. Imagine what you normally tell yourself and then change that statement into a statement that has grace and compassion. Write it down and practice using the new statement.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Everyone has had a  situation in their life when they have felt like a victim. Unfortunately, many of us allow those situations to affect our lives negatively by skewing the way we view people and the world around us. This episode will help take you from victim to victor by teaching you how to overcome self-pity and entitlement.

Transformation Tip:  “You can’t expect to be a “victor” if your living with a “victim” mentality.” - Billy Cox

A victim mentality causes us to view things with a negative lens that sabotages our reality

External locus of control vs. Internal locus of control 

• External locus of control - belief that one’s life is controlled by a force outside of oneself (fate, luck, mercy of other people)
• Internal locus of control - belief that each person is responsible for their own happiness and how they handle situations

Victim mentality = external locus of control 

You are responsible for how you handle your thoughts and emotions 

Own your emotions. Take responsibility for your feelings and how you react to them

How to recognize victim mentality 

• Self-pity 
• Entitlement 

How to move from victim to victor 

• Self-awareness 
• Refuse to think of yourself as a victim
• Own your emotions 
• Work on the way you think

Transformation application: Think of a time when you felt like a victim. Think about the mindset that came as a result of that event. Write it down and then ask yourself if those thoughts are helping you or undermining you. Rip it up and choose to let it go.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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The first 15 minutes of each day can make or break it. This episode teaches you practical ways to take back your morning by learning how to prioritize and live with intentionality. 

Transformation Tip: “The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.” - Henry Ward Beecher 

Your starting point is your finishing point

Try not to pick up your phone first thing in the morning 

Be intentional about the first 15 minutes of your day - control your life instead of letting it control you. 

Get yourself set first and THEN frame your day 

Transformation Application: Practice the breathing exercise mentioned in the episode. Make a list of what you are grateful for each morning this week.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Can you think of a moment that you wish you could go back to and respond differently? Learning how to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally is key to developing your emotional intelligence. This episode gives you practical tools to better manage your emotions moving forward. 

Transformation Tip: “Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.” - Abby Stumbal 

How to manage your emotions: 

• Count to 10 - make a better word choice 
• Sleep on it - allow yourself to reset 
• Burn off the adrenaline - exercise
• Be quick to let it go - the longer you hold on the more it will affect you 
• Be humble - take ownership of the part you played in the situation. Humility always disarms conflict.
• Pay attention to your self-talk - avoid using words like always and never
• Get it out of your head - write it out or talk it out (with safe people)
• Ask someone to help you with performance coaching 
• Maintain good sleep hygiene - when you’re rested your ability to respond vs. react is much better. 

Transformation Application: Pick one of the tips we gave you and use it this week. The easiest one to try is counting to 10 - give it a shot! 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Emotional awareness is something that many of us lack. Our ability to be aware of our emotions is imperative for learning how to manage them in a healthy way. In this episode, we provide practical tools to add more emotional awareness to your life. 

Transformation Tip: “If you are tuned out of your own emotions, you will be poor at reading them in other people.” - Daniel Goleman

Being in touch with your emotions does not mean you’re weak. 

How to become more emotionally aware: 

• Name it. Identifying your emotions has a powerful effect on your ability to manage them. 
• Don’t pass judgment. Your emotions are not good or bad - they are just emotions. 
• Notice how your emotions affect you physically. 
• Know who and what triggers you. What is being devalued that you value? Trauma from your past? 
• Be aware of your moods. Moods are transient. 

Transformation Application:  This week when you are experiencing a strong emotion, write it down, and describe how you feel physically. 

Coaching Resources:

Wheel of emotions (referenced in episode)

Emotional Intelligence 2.0  (referenced in episode)

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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We all have weaknesses and limitations. Learning to embrace them helps us to focus on our strengths and improve our emotional intelligence and growth trajectory. This episode reminds you that you don’t have to be good at everything, but simply be the best version of yourself. 

Transformation Tip: To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; and to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength - Criss Jami

Embracing your limitations is okay!

What will happen if you don't embrace your limitations? 

• Tendency to see your limitations as a source of shame 
• You feel like you have to perform your way out of them
• You will not love yourself for who you are
• You will become way too self-reliant 

If you don’t embrace your limitations, you limit the people around you

 Options on how to handle your limitations 

• Don’t do it 
• Try harder
• Borrow someone else’s strength 
• Leverage one of your strengths to supplement your weakness

Transformation Application: Identify one limitation that you have, and embrace it. Tell yourself that it's okay to have that limitation. For extra credit - go tell someone else! 

Coaching Resources:

Self Perception Graphic  (discussed in episode)

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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A big key to becoming more self-aware is identifying blindspots. Blindspots are aspects of ourselves that we have not been aware of or not fully known. In this episode learn practical ways to discover both your positive and negative blindspots to help you develop your EQ and put the best version of yourself forward. 

Transformation Tip: How do you know when you’ve been deceived? You don’t. 

How to discover your blind spots:

• Ask people for feedback - you cannot see your own blindspots so ask someone who can!
• Use assessments - are there disparities in the results and what you believe to be true about yourself? Are you upset by the results? Maybe this is revealing something you didn’t know about yourself. 
• Consider your strengths - our blindspots can be found in the shadows of our biggest strengths. We can become too comfortable with our strengths and come across in a negative way or we can overuse our strengths. 

Transformation Application: Take some time to reflect on potential blind spots. Think back to a situation that didn’t go well for you. What was happening? How did you behave? What feelings did you have?

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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 Each of us is designed with a unique purpose and talents. When we are not working within our design we can get frustrated and burnt out. Oftentimes, this is caused by simply being unaware of our strengths and weaknesses. In this episode, gain practical tools to help you identify the areas where you thrive as well as potential blind spots that may be holding you back. It’s time to align with your design! 

Transformation Tip: “Don’t compromise yourself - you’re all you have” - John Grisham

How to Align With Your Design: 

1. Ask people who know you - We are our own worst counselors. When we allow people we trust to speak about our strengths and blindspots it brings clarity to our purpose.
2. Ask your history - Reflect on past accomplishments. What was a time when you felt completely alive and in your zone? What were you doing? What was the setting? What was the verb/action?
3. Ask science - Use an online tool such as StrengthsFinder, Myers Briggs, Hermann Brain Institute, etc. to learn more about your strengths, weaknesses, and unique design. 
4. Ask your faith - How was I designed? What is my purpose? Who was I created to be?

Transformation Application: Ask people you know to identify blindspots in your life. Go to https://www.petecoaching.com/blindspot for a guided tool to help you apply this exercise. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Self-awareness should not be viewed as selfish or self-centeredness. Self-awareness helps you bring out the best version of yourself. Taking the time to reflect and grow in our areas of weakness allows us to improve our relationships, our confidence, and our lives! 

Transformation Tip: Know Thyself. 

Self-awareness is NOT:

• Self-centeredness
• Selfish
• About focusing on your flaws, but the greatness that you carry 

Benefits of self-awareness: 

• Improves your relationships
• Improves your confidence
• Allows you to become a better person 
• Enables you to be who you are!

Clues that you need to become more self-aware 

• Blaming
  • Victim mentality 
• Space invaders
  • People are unaware of your boundaries 
• Attention seeking 
  • If you feel rejected you try extra hard to be excepted
• Interrupting 

Transformation Application: Rate your self-awareness on a scale of 1-10. Next, find someone who is close to you and ask them to rate your self-awareness on a scale of 1-10. Is there a difference? If there is, it’s time to do some deep reflection. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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