Trigger Proof Transmissions

There are many ways in which we can unconsciously get in the way of relationships that are strong and secure.  

Often, the way we react to abandonment anxiety inadvertendly causes us to feel the very thing we are afraid of the most:  

Being abandoned. 

In my experience working with those who are committed to breaking this painful cycle, there are 7 common symptoms to be on the lookout for so we can make sure we can stop the pattern dead in its tracks and create the space for a secure relationship to emerge -- because we have finally cultivated that relationship with the most important person of all:  Ourselves. 

Without getting conscious to these 7 signs, we often push love away-- even if it's right under our noses the entire time.
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

If you identify with Anxious Attachment, then you're not alone.
Constantly second guessing yourself, seeking validation, asking friends "what does he/she mean by that?" in this twisted dance of anxiety whether they like you or not or are going to leave.

It sucks.

Good news-- if you want to shift to a more secure state,
where you're comfortable in your own skin, where you're no longer worried if they like you or not--- and are able to call in someone who's emotionally mature, who plans, who shows genuine interest and actually shows up for you...

There are 3 critical transitions you must EMBODY to make that happen.

Lauren made those transitions... and
within months, she is now all-in with someone-- meeting his family, meeting his grandmother-- and he's in the planning stages of looking for a place for them to move into -- even calling her "mom" to his dog!

She shares how she got here in this transmission.

On this transmission I cover the 2 skills I never learned in any personal development course that -- no word of a lie-- has cost me over a million dollars in divorce, legal fees, lost business, not to mention the mental anguish and sleepless nights, and worrying about what others think of me, along with an inability to set boundaries. 
Now in helping people sort out the exact same challenges in our #Cyclebreakers Communities, I've seen the impact of people not knowing these 2 skills has been dire:
- Infidelity
- Co-dependency
- Inability to set and maintain boundaries
- health problems
- Anxiety
- Digestive issues
- Auto-immune/ Thyroid issues
Can you guess what those 2 skills are?
I cover them in today's transmission.
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

The holiday season has people feeling a "spike" in Anxiety levels.  
When family is around, we have a shared past that spills into the present, causing us to go further into a shell.
Many start with talk therapies, hoping for freedom. 
On This call, you get to meet someone who had been prescribed benzos and anti-depressants along with talk therapy-- and can now say she has 100% freedom from all of it, simply using the 5 pillars we cover on this call. 
Are you ready to outgrow your anxious life?
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

Co-dependency patterns are said to be impossible to break by the experts.
That's true-- because conventional methods don't work.  
With a deep commitment, breaking the unconscious bonds we have towards our Trauma is possible.  
The problem is-- even though we want freedom from the pain of Co-Dependency, on the other side-- we crave the familiar, and even though we want out of the pain, without exposing these two MASSIVE blind spots I share, we will find ourselves succumbing to an identity that kills our ability to have a secure relationship.
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

A community member just asked: 
"Would appreciate some extra insight on how to know when you're playing the victim vs. just needing to express your feelings on how you've been affected by someone else's actions vs. needing/desiring validation vs. not making others feel responsible for your feelings. Confused on how the concepts are different/similar & what's healthy vs. not healthy. I definitely don't want to play victim or make others responsible, but how does one express themselves without those possibly happening?
Is needing validation codependency? If so, is it always codependency or only in certain circumstances? How does one share their feeling without making the other person feel responsible?"
____________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

On this transmission I'll be answering a question from a member of the community:
"Im worried that I romanticize my past relationship a bit, we were together a long time, share a child, and I’m frequently (and what feels like subconsciously) making comparisons in my new relationship and I’m recognizing that it’s not fair, I just feel that I can’t help these thoughts sometimes"
Watch this training if you want to learn the difference between being incompatible vs. being incomplete with your past.
_____________________________________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

“It’s the most wonderful time…. of the year.”

Every year in my Chiropractic practice, we would see a “bump”
in people coming in stressed, disconnected, angry, or dissociated
in December leading up to the holidays.

Since I made the leap into teaching people how to become their own medicine,
through Nervous System Regulation, healing from Trauma Bonds and Shadow work,
I would notice an “uptick” in our community with anxiety, ruptures,
and the prevalence of leaning into the things we use to sedate ourselves (food, weed, sex, porn).

Other than the usual culprits this time of year— financial pressure and time constraints—

All of the above starts to flare up this time of year for a more insidious reason:

ENMESHMENT TRAUMA

Enmeshment trauma is a developmental trauma we experience when the physical,
spiritual and emotional boundaries we normally create in healthy secure homes with
secure conscious parents become trampled over to the point where we lose ourselves
for the sake of attachment and belonging.

This looks like:
Being Unable to say “no” without paralyzing guilt
Running ourselves ragged so we can be perceived as “good” Abandoning ourselves and being hyper-vigilantly pre-occupied with getting validation and approval

No wonder why your jaw ends up tense, headaches emerge, digestion is shot, sleep is impacted,
and we are in a constant state of alarm.

This way of being spills over to everyone in the family. 
(Just think of what it was like growing up with mom/dad who were stressed out and disconnected this time of year).

But what if you’re coming in the holidays with some deeper wounds?
A relationship that’s on the rocks— holidays make you TRULY face the fact things aren’t working The painful awareness that you have lost someone— and you feel even more alone over the holidays

Put all of this together— and the “most wonderful time of the year” ends up becoming the WORST.

That was me During Christmas of 2018.  I was in the midst of untangling from my Trauma Bond and I made a pact with myself:

THAT I WAS NEVER GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER SHITTY HOLIDAY SEASON AGAIN.

My commitment was to create a relationship with MYSELF FIRST that felt like a safe container.
That I was going to invest the time, the effort, the energy, the resources to truly deepening my relationship with myself FIRST.

Let’s just say since making that commitment— the Holidays have been so magical— that we got a new puppy and named him “Magic”
to describe the entire journey.

That’s why on Saturday December 17th we’re combining Breathwork and Badassery and The Overview Experience into one
live virtual event so that a week before the holidays, the folks in the community can break that vicious cycle of self abandonment
and give their families the greatest Holiday gift they can give:

A relaxed, self-loving and regulated Husband, Wife, Son, Daughter, and / or partner. 

Your relaxed, calm, self-loving presence is truly a gift to everyone around you.

When we plant our flag in the ground and claim time for ourselves to connect deeper— everything shifts:
A loving and more present relationship with ourselves Our triggers/activations that family systems bring us don’t cause us to react in old patterns A greater “pause” between stimulus and response Deeper understanding for the flawed humans who are in our family (because we’re more ok with our own flaws)

We become better at loving — on the other side of loving ourselves.

If you’re wanting to take this time of year and set yourself up to make it “the most wonderful”
we would love for you to join the #Cyclebreakers who are already opening space to connect deeper through a journey I guide you through
breathwork, cognitive and somatic tools to prepare for the holiday season that’s been described as a “minefield of triggers.”

Are you prepared to make yourself a priority so everyone gets the best of you this season?

Jump in and join us. The practice of even creating that space for yourself will be the “calm before the storm” you’ll need for you and your family to thrive.

You (and they) deserve it.

Nima

_____________________________...

On this transmission we discuss the most important variable that we must consider when moving from insecure attachments to becoming secure individuals-- Boundaries-- and why we generally suck at them.  
Not getting this right virtually guarantees a life where we feel unsafe and alone.  
Grab a pen, you'll get a chance to rate yourself on the 7 types of Boundaries, so you can identify what you are needing to work on to safeguard your relationships-- including the one with yourself.
__________________________________________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

I used to live in a fantasy.  

That fantasy sounded something like this: 

“I’ve had shitty luck with relationships.  When I meet the right person, then I’ll have a great relationship.”

After my divorce in 2011, I went down the rabbit hole of one relationship after another falling into the same pattern.

They never ended well.  

The last one I was in — I was so unconscious, that I allowed things to devolve between us to the point that the police were involved. 

Needless to say I had to go through a healing process to unpack what happened. 

This is where I discovered what I had never learned until then:  

The Neuroscience of Trauma Bonds. ,   

I realized that Trauma Bonds are why we get stuck in cycles of abuse, from love-bombing, to devaluing, to discarding…

All the way around back to love-bombing again— knowing FULL WELL it’s not healthy but feeling POWERLESS to getting out.

At the age of 43 I had to realize that if I was to achieve what I had never achieved before --
(A Secure Relationship that wasn’t manipulative and transactional)

That I wasn’t going to try to focus on FINDING the right partner…

It was about me BECOMING the right partner.  

A new “identity,” if you will. 

I had to realize that I was already unconsciously playing a role.  
A character…

An identity that I wasn’t even aware I was under the spell of.

This is the insidious nature of cultural and family systems, and their impact on our upbringing.  

It’s why people feel like they can’t be their true selves. 
It’s why we “people please.” 

We aren’t even aware that we are under the spell of these roles….

Then we partner up with equally wounded souls who are just as unconscious of this as we are.

Then we try to have relationships under this context.

How’s that been working for you?

In this 14 minute video, I break down how in order to create a new reality in the world of relationships, 
we are called on to BECOME SOMEONE ELSE. 

To take on a new identity, on that is a safe container where secure relationships can thrive.

If we don’t, we can end it with one person, and feel shocked to see “here we go again” — same dance with a different haircut…
And our children see co-dependency modelled to them— and they repeat the pattern, just like we did. 

But when we do— we no longer are available for ANTHING other than mature, secure intimate love…
And we can teach that to our children. 

Because we are no longer being run by self-abandoning unconscious programs. 

This is what it means to be a cyclebreaker. 

Integrating all our wounded parts together, and emerging a whole, complete, self-loving being on the other side.

You don’t have to repeat your past. 
You are greater than your trauma or conditioning. 

You get to make the call:  
Who would you love to become in this one life you have?

Hit reply and let me know what you want to create as a possibility. 

If you’re keen to learn how, any one of those links below will help you move the needle…

See you at the next perfect time.

Nima
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming "Breathwork and Badassery" Live Event (Every month)
Regulate Your stress, deepen your connection to your inner child, process your stuck emotions and improve your capacity
https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR