Turtle's Paradise

Turtle's Paradise

By Tj CondonVideo Games
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Turtle's Paradise episodes

  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. T.1
    Wherein Tj and Chris confront the oft-confusing translation of table dog purple liquefy, chili squint, and wet bread.
    This week's beer: Rusty Rail NOktoberfest Rye Ale w/ blood orange
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    32 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.5
    Wherein Tj and Chris (at long last) welcome Cid's comeuppance vis-a-vis a certain assistant, confirm that you can't do the Wutai quest after the Return to Midgar, and trivialize the entire challenge on a couple different occasions.
    This week's beer: Rusty Gold Brewing Potential Energy Imperial IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    1 hr 24 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VII.5

    Wherein Tj and Chris (at long last) welcome Cid's comeuppance vis-a-vis a certain assistant, confirm that you can't do the Wutai quest after the Return to Midgar, and trivialize the entire challenge on a couple different occasions.


    This week's beer: Rusty Gold Brewing Potential Energy Imperial IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice


    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five

    1 hr 24 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.4
    Wherein Tj and Chris raise their body temperatures by any means necessary, completely disregard a tower defense game, and disappoint the more religious members of their families.
    This week's beer: Rock Bottom Pittsburgh Uppity Jagoff IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Incidental: "Judgement-Funkadelic" [Judgment Day] by Charles Ritz, David Peacock, DrumUltimA, Dutcher Snedeker, Fredrik Häthén, Marc Papeghin, Nuri Tett, sschafi1, & Thennecan
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    58 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VII.4

    Wherein Tj and Chris raise their body temperatures by any means necessary, completely disregard a tower defense game, and disappoint the more religious members of their families.


    This week's beer: Rock Bottom Pittsburgh Uppity Jagoff IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice


    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five


    Incidental: "Judgement-Funkadelic" [Judgment Day] by Charles Ritz, David Peacock, DrumUltimA, Dutcher Snedeker, Fredrik Häthén, Marc Papeghin, Nuri Tett, sschafi1, & Thennecan


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    58 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.4
    Wherein Tj and Chris raise their body temperatures by any means necessary, completely disregard a tower defense game, and disappoint the more religious members of their families.
    This week's beer: Rock Bottom Pittsburgh Uppity Jagoff IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Incidental: "Judgement-Funkadelic" [Judgment Day] by Charles Ritz, David Peacock, DrumUltimA, Dutcher Snedeker, Fredrik Häthén, Marc Papeghin, Nuri Tett, sschafi1, & Thennecan
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    58 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.3
    Wherein Tj and Chris are ON A BOAT, in LITTLE DUNE BUGGY, and go down in a blaze of glory but are still able to paddle around in shallow water and rivers.Oh, yeah, and she dies. Deal with it.
    This week's beer: Southern Tier Nu Skool IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 28 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VII.3

    Wherein Tj and Chris are ON A BOAT, in LITTLE DUNE BUGGY, and go down in a blaze of glory but are still able to paddle around in shallow water and rivers.

    Oh, yeah, and she dies. Deal with it.


    This week's beer: Southern Tier Nu Skool IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice


    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 28 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.2
    Wherein Tj and Chris channel their inner Kornheiser and Wilbon, shill grenades as the answer to every problem in Midgar, and receive gifts of dice and portability from friend of the show Andrew!
    This week's beer: Magic Hat TFG IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 14 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VII.2

    Wherein Tj and Chris channel their inner Kornheiser and Wilbon, shill grenades as the answer to every problem in Midgar, and receive gifts of dice and portability from friend of the show Andrew!


    This week's beer: Magic Hat TFG IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice


    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 14 min

About Turtle's Paradise

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Turtle's Paradise, where Chris & Tj invite you to join them in attempting to grasp the miasma of numbers, princesses, and strange haircuts that IS Final Fantasy.