Turtle's Paradise

Turtle's Paradise

By Tj CondonVideo Games
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Turtle's Paradise episodes

  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.2
    Wherein Tj and Chris channel their inner Kornheiser and Wilbon, shill grenades as the answer to every problem in Midgar, and receive gifts of dice and portability from friend of the show Andrew!
    This week's beer: Magic Hat TFG IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 14 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VII.1
    Wherein Tj and Chris ACTUALLY PUBLISH A BLEEDING PODCAST FOR A CHANGE, plug their Final Fantasy XI streaming project senseless, name-check Legend of Legaia for whatever reason, and Tj dishonors himself by not mentioning EarthBound amongst his formative JRPG experiences.
    This week's beer: Sierra Nevada Trip in the Woods: Bière de Garde
    Music credits:
    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice
    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    36 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VII.1

    Wherein Tj and Chris ACTUALLY PUBLISH A BLEEDING PODCAST FOR A CHANGE, plug their Final Fantasy XI streaming project senseless, name-check Legend of Legaia for whatever reason, and Tj dishonors himself by not mentioning EarthBound amongst his formative JRPG experiences.


    This week's beer: Sierra Nevada Trip in the Woods: Bière de Garde


    Music credits:


    OP: "How Many Heavens Are There?" [Tifa's Theme] by Wiesty & XPRTNovice


    ED: "The Shinra Shuffle" [Fight On!] by The Runaway Five


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    36 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Bonus Episode #1
    Wherein Tj and Chris realize that they've lived someone's D&D campaign, II tried really hard (and the cast of VIII needs to get punched), Mario Hoops 3-on-3 was a thing that existed, Edward's the second-best bard in Final Fantasy (out of 2), you can never have too many princesses, and apparently Nightshade Rage can't break the game if you never encounter it on the veldt.This week's beer: Flying Dog "The Truth" IPA
    Music credits:"Booster Tarantino" by djpretzel, because it's an awesome track from an SNES RPG that we didn't talk about.
    1 hr 7 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Bonus Episode #1

    Wherein Tj and Chris realize that they've lived someone's D&D campaign, II tried really hard (and the cast of VIII needs to get punched), Mario Hoops 3-on-3 was a thing that existed, Edward's the second-best bard in Final Fantasy (out of 2), you can never have too many princesses, and apparently Nightshade Rage can't break the game if you never encounter it on the veldt.

    This week's beer: Flying Dog "The Truth" IPA


    Music credits:

    "Booster Tarantino" by djpretzel, because it's an awesome track from an SNES RPG that we didn't talk about.

    1 hr 7 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.5
    Wherein Tj and Chris get Ultima, get Quick, get magic costs down to nearly nil, and break the endgame over their knees. Also, they tease a big announcement in the cheesiest and most cringeworthy way possible. You've been warned.
    This week's beer: New Belgium Trippel
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 15 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VI.5

    Wherein Tj and Chris get Ultima, get Quick, get magic costs down to nearly nil, and break the endgame over their knees. Also, they tease a big announcement in the cheesiest and most cringeworthy way possible. You've been warned.


    This week's beer: New Belgium Trippel


    Music credits:


    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael


    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 15 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.5
    Wherein Tj and Chris get Ultima, get Quick, get magic costs down to nearly nil, and break the endgame over their knees. Also, they tease a big announcement in the cheesiest and most cringeworthy way possible. You've been warned.
    This week's beer: New Belgium Trippel
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 15 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.4
    Wherein Tj and Chris put the band back together (following an epiphany at a church that may or may not involve James Brown), quality-check seafood for half an hour in an attempt to stabilize an ambulatory condom, and elucidate upon just why, in fact, these caves are a pain in the ass.
    This week's beer: Fat Head's 25th Anniversary IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 12 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VI.4

    Wherein Tj and Chris put the band back together (following an epiphany at a church that may or may not involve James Brown), quality-check seafood for half an hour in an attempt to stabilize an ambulatory condom, and elucidate upon just why, in fact, these caves are a pain in the ass.


    This week's beer: Fat Head's 25th Anniversary IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael


    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 12 min

About Turtle's Paradise

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Turtle's Paradise, where Chris & Tj invite you to join them in attempting to grasp the miasma of numbers, princesses, and strange haircuts that IS Final Fantasy.