Turtle's Paradise

Turtle's Paradise

By Tj CondonVideo Games
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Turtle's Paradise episodes

  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.4
    Wherein Tj and Chris put the band back together (following an epiphany at a church that may or may not involve James Brown), quality-check seafood for half an hour in an attempt to stabilize an ambulatory condom, and elucidate upon just why, in fact, these caves are a pain in the ass.
    This week's beer: Fat Head's 25th Anniversary IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 12 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.3
    Wherein Tj and Chris go digging through the trash for magical monsters to collect and trade, comport themselves with the utmost decorum, and fail at feng shui so badly that entire continents are destroyed.
    This week's beer: Selin's Grove Brewing Company The Same IPA
    This episode is brought to you by The Jester's Guild, who are performing Ken Ludwig's The Three Musketeers at the New Hazlett Theater in Pittsburgh October 13-15. Tickets are available at https://the-jesters-guild.ticketleap.com/ .
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 36 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VI.3

    Wherein Tj and Chris go digging through the trash for magical monsters to collect and trade, comport themselves with the utmost decorum, and fail at feng shui so badly that entire continents are destroyed.


    This week's beer: Selin's Grove Brewing Company The Same IPA


    This episode is brought to you by The Jester's Guild, who are performing Ken Ludwig's The Three Musketeers at the New Hazlett Theater in Pittsburgh October 13-15. Tickets are available at https://the-jesters-guild.ticketleap.com/ .


    Music credits:


    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael


    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 36 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.2
    Wherein Tj and Chris fail Latin so hard they conjure an extradimensional evil, don't fare much better in Italian either, and Turtle's Paradise would like to apologize for the poor quality of the beer segment.
    This week's beer: Fat Head's G'suffa Oktoberfest Lager
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 23 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VI.2

    Wherein Tj and Chris fail Latin so hard they conjure an extradimensional evil, don't fare much better in Italian either, and Turtle's Paradise would like to apologize for the poor quality of the beer segment.


    This week's beer: Fat Head's G'suffa Oktoberfest Lager


    Music credits:


    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael


    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    1 hr 23 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. VI.1
    Wherein Tj and Chris beat the "You Don't Break Up The Party" concept into Square's collective noggins with a rubber panel-beating mallet, prove that Kefka is the jankiest of clowns (HBO series notwithstanding), and reminisce about when summons were actually decent.
    This week's beer: Brew Gentlemen Akamai Double IPA
    Music credits:
    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael
    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    34 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. VI.1

    Wherein Tj and Chris beat the "You Don't Break Up The Party" concept into Square's collective noggins with a rubber panel-beating mallet, prove that Kefka is the jankiest of clowns (HBO series notwithstanding), and reminisce about when summons were actually decent.


    This week's beer: Brew Gentlemen Akamai Double IPA


    Music credits:


    OP: "A World of Decisions" [The Decisive Battle] by Khemael


    ED: "Cid in the Factory" [Devil's Lab] by Gaffezil


    Find these at OCRemix.org!

    34 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. V.5
    Wherein Tj and Chris finally make this whole "meatdimension" thing make sense, Shigesato Itoi gleans yet another inspiration from Final Fantasy, and I still have to saw through this banana.
    This week's beer: Rheingeist Quadra Funk Hoppy Wild Ale
    Music credits:
    Opening Theme: Little Black Book [The Writings of the Seal] by DarkeSwordClosing Theme: Boss Key [Clash on the Big Bridge; Supreme Lord Exdeath] by Norg
    1 hr 48 min
  • Turtle’s Paradise Ep. V.5

    Wherein Tj and Chris finally make this whole "meatdimension" thing make sense, Shigesato Itoi gleans yet another inspiration from Final Fantasy, and I still have to saw through this banana.


    This week's beer: Rheingeist Quadra Funk Hoppy Wild Ale


    Music credits:


    Opening Theme: Little Black Book [The Writings of the Seal] by DarkeSword
    Closing Theme: Boss Key [Clash on the Big Bridge; Supreme Lord Exdeath] by Norg

    1 hr 48 min
  • Turtle's Paradise Ep. V.4
    Wherein Tj and Chris are really concerned for the self-destructive behavior Lenna's exhibiting, waffle on whether or not to call them Crystals just yet, and お前はもう死んでいる
    This week's beer: Great Lakes Lake Erie Monster Imperial IPA
    Music credits:
    Opening Theme: Little Black Book [The Writings of the Seal] by DarkeSwordClosing Theme: Boss Key [Clash on the Big Bridge; Supreme Lord Exdeath] by Norg
    Find these at OCRemix.org!
    1 hr 16 min

About Turtle's Paradise

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Turtle's Paradise, where Chris & Tj invite you to join them in attempting to grasp the miasma of numbers, princesses, and strange haircuts that IS Final Fantasy.