This is the climax of the book (the series??), if you can believe it (we can't). Bella's shield works perfectly therefore nothing happens, and Alice arrives triumphantly with a plot point whose monologue will solve the entire conflict. Yay!

Somehow there’s only one chapter left in Breaking Dawn—come with us as we finish out this ~~~~~saga ~~~~~~~~together 🥲

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A lot doesn’t happen in this chapter of Breaking Dawn (this book is almost over??) but we do get the worst sentence in the whole series, probably. Tune in to hear what made us collectively gag!

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Welcome back listeners!! It's time to talk about how Aro is highkey a great villain, the vibes of the chapter are immaculate, and also how somehow SMeyer pulled off six and a half pages of walking. Now that's art!!

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Hey listeners!! In this episode we discuss Bella's flammability, her sexiness despite another head to toe khaki look, and the mysterious disappearance of Jacob. Do we...miss him? Nah!!

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A small child receives a PROMISE RING (!!!) and Alistair's departure stirs up DRAMA. Meanwhile Bella decides having a mom doesn't sound that important anyway.

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Suddenly, a noir interlude. Enter, Bella the femme fatale. Like the memory of a fever dream, we’re transported across Seattle as Bella uses her newly acquired, dastardly charms to solve the mysterious mystery of the elusive J Jenks. Get your passports ready!!

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Remember those million other vampires from all over who show up in Breaking Dawn? Us neither, but we get to meet alllllll of them this week!! There's so many of them there's an index, and we're mad about it!!!!

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Get ready for a thorough and convenient description of various Volturi talents. Also, Melissa is thriving on a trip to Colorado and I know you wanna know about that too.

What would Survivor: Twilight Edition look like?? Write in to tell us at [email protected].

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Listeners, you keep us young. We love you so much. In this episode, we ask ourselves the important questions: how do you pronounce Eleazar? Is this the most dramatic Edward has ever been? (no.) And most importantly, how do you tell your family friends that you have a half vampire baby waiting to meet them???

Hey listeners, quick question: if you received bad news, would your response be to stare, unblinking, into the eyes of your beloved? For about nine hours straight? JUST WONDERINGGGGG. The Cullens minus Alice and Jasper go for a light jog followed by a devastating revelation . . . and then they break out . . . THE GLOBE.