Hello! We are back with yet another wild chapter of Breaking Dawn, but also like nothing happens?? 

Bella drinks blood (which we really think should have been a much bigger deal than it was), and Jacob talks to Jared about some dumb pack stuff (like how everyone is acting like Jake‘s pack has run away to Antarctica and not a mile north) and that's literally alllll that happens. 

But also it’s fine because we know The Most is going to happen soon. 

Thanks for staying with us!!

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Hey Twilight Fam! Breaking Dawn continues to be the wildest ride that we only kinda signed up for, and we haven’t even gotten to the wildest part.

Things are about to get KOOKY!

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Jacob throws off the shackles of the alpha to claim his birthright, or whatever, and a second pack is born. Speaking of births, we are all dreading the childbirth chapter, but don't worry, this isn't it. We do learn a little too much about clinical death and plasma though UGH. Come for the literary analysis, stay for the mediocre science.

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Edit: re-uploaded 9/5 to fix some audio issues, sorry, fam!

IT'S OUR ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE!!! We bet you never thought we'd make it this far. Well, we didn't either! In this episode we debate the important questions...would Bella lay Rumpelstiltskin like an egg? 

Please write in and tell us how you think SMeyer could have gotten Carlisle SO wrong at [email protected].

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Y'all, this chapter is absolutely WILD, please join us. Is this a fanfic introducing a storyline where Edward, Bella, and Jacob become a throuple? NO? Are you sure??

Jacob lies eyes upon emaciated pregnant Bella, and does not imprint on Resurrection. Please submit your 5,000 word essays on the literary, real-world, and biological implications of this fact to [email protected].

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Listeners, hold onto your butts and comfort blankets as we brave the first chapter for Jacob's POV. RIP!!!

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Bella, this chapter:

”Am I Pregant? Am i gregnant? Is there a possibly that i'm pegrent? Could I be pregonate? Am i pegnate?? Help!? 38+2 weeks pregananant? Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head? Can u down a 20 foot waterslide pegnat? I think my dog is pregernet??? How do I know if I'M prengan? Can i be prregnant???? Can u get pregante... ? Am I pregegnant or am I okay?”

https://youtu.be/NDvaRF4HQHQ

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Look y'all, honestly nothing much really happens in this chapter but it is SO PREFERABLE to what's about to happen that we wish it could last forever!!!! 

Sex changes everything! The whole plot of this whole series hinges on whether or not they bone!! Sex saves lives!!

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Fam, the moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived . . . 

SEX. 

Edward and Bella finally do the do, and BOY do we have a variety of thoughts and opinions. Like, is waiting so long really worth It? And, does It live up to the hype? Also, why is no one concerned about venom sperm??

You can be sure we get to the Bottom of each of these questions. (We do also discuss bottoming vs topping.)

Remember, abortion is healthcare. 

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You know how we complained about wanting more drama at this wedding? Well, be careful what you wish for: the big bad wolf is back...

Also this is the last time Bella will ever see her parents APpaREntLY I GuEsS???

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