Twilight Phase

Twilight Phase

By Twilight Phase PodcastComedy
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Twilight Phase episodes

  • Ep. 88: The Chapter Where Jacob Says the Title

    Eclipse is still not done, and there is still more for Jacob to be annoying about!!

    In this ep, Bella continues to pick Edward, and we continue to hear about how Bella doesn’t know what she wants. Jake also finally admits to being a MANIPULATOR!! And it’s is sweet, sweet vindication. For like, two seconds.

    HOW is this book not done yet.

    Email us about what you think Charlie’s super power is at [email protected].

    Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

    Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

    1 hr 5 min
  • Ep. 87: The Short Second Life of a Convenient Plot Point

    Well fam, apparently there are still a few more chapters to Eclipse left. To what end? Very unclear to us. But here are some highlights of discussion from this chapter:

    • The Volturi is the IRS but with murder
    • Vampire bodies still make no sense??? Do they have organs??
    • Melissa pulls a Bella and thinks everything’s about sex (even tho it’s also not NOT about sex…)
    • We have conclusive evidence that even Carlisle hates Jasper

      • Email us about whatever we said in the episode at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      52 min
    • Ep. 86: Gay Twilight AU (A Guest Thesis)

      YOOOO IT'S A GUEST EPISODE! Thanks so much to our pal Olivia Neal for joining us! Olivia is a Twilight ~scholar~ who makes an impenetrable argument about why Twilight should have been gay. And you know WHAT??? She's right, Edward should be with Jacob, Bella should be with Alice, and Jasper and Rigatoni should. not. exist. 

      love u guys <3

      You can find Olivia on insta @olivialeighneal

      Email us about your preferred Twilight AU at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      56 min
    • Ep. 85: Galaxy Brain Edward

      The SECOND climax of this book is upon us, listeners, and we find out that it was VICTORIA all along !!! Whatttt????

      Also, Bella does NOT care that everyone is about to die—she still wants Edward’s sweet, sweet ~eggplant emoji~ REAL bad.

      Also also, I guess there’s like some fighting and stuff idk

      Email us about whatever we said in the episode at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      1 hr
    • Ep. 83: It Was All a Dream

      This is it. The moment has arrived. We have reached the point of Eclipse, its spiritual zenith. THE TENT.

      Does it live up to being the only chapter Melissa and Olivia remember existing? Do Edward and Jacob murder each other and/or kiss?? Guess you gotta listen to find out.

      Pease submit fanfic of Jacob and Bella marrying, Jacob imprinting on someone else at 42, them getting divorced, and Edward emerging from the shadows (AU only, pls) at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      56 min
    • Ep 82: It's All SMeyer's Fault

      LISTEN UP LISTEN-NERDS

      we love you guys <3 

      In this episode Bella continues to hate being engaged, Alice is suuuupes mean, Edward has a shiny new superpower and Jake is fully the worst he's ever been and we hate him. <3

      Email us about whatever we said in the episode at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      1 hr 2 min
    • Ep. 81: The Rules of Engagement

      “so like how much seggsy talk am I allowed to do in this copy?” -Melissa

      “make it x-rated” -Maya

      This is it, fam. Bella is HOT and BOTHERED and has decided to go for Edward’s cold, cold eggplant emoji. Is this everything we’ve been waiting for? Definitely. And also, absolutely not.

      We discuss the most important of all questions: Is death worth the D?

      Maybe?? If you’re married first? And have purged yourself of all sin?

      Surprise, we have a number of opinions.

      Email us about your dream proposal (if ya got one) and whether you think Bella's ring is ugly at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com


      1 hr 9 min
    • Ep. 80: There's a Jess and a Bella Inside All of Us

      HAPPY NEW YEAR LISTENERS!! New year, same shenanigans. In this episode of Twilight Phase we keep it real with you all with more conversations about bones and vampire sperm. Plus, we follow along as Alice makes her Oscar bid, Edward gets a little squirrely about Jacob's gift, and the newborn showdown approaches. 

      Write in and tell us if you think vampire sperm would kill a plant at [email protected].

      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast 

      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

      57 min
    • Ep. 79: Dog Bear Wolf
      There's a rumble in the woods, listeners! Detective Bella casually solves the case of the vampire army in her 24th hour of not sleeping and as a reward is licked chin to hairline by a giant moronic wolf. Jacob and Edward come up with a plan for what to do with Bella during the fight...and it's not the best ever but it's what they're rolling with. All in all this chapter is a grand ol' time so thank you for joining us!
      We're taking a holiday break and will be back with our next episode on January 8th!
      Write in and tell us what you'd do with a giant wolf at [email protected]
      Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast
      Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com
      55 min

    About Twilight Phase

    From the publisher's feed

    The Twilight Saga took over the world—briefly. Whether you thought it was the bomb dot com or . . . well . . . not that, admit it: You had a Twilight phase.