Twilight Phase

Listeners, hold onto your butts and comfort blankets as we brave the first chapter for Jacob's POV. RIP!!!

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Bella, this chapter:

”Am I Pregant? Am i gregnant? Is there a possibly that i'm pegrent? Could I be pregonate? Am i pegnate?? Help!? 38+2 weeks pregananant? Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head? Can u down a 20 foot waterslide pegnat? I think my dog is pregernet??? How do I know if I'M prengan? Can i be prregnant???? Can u get pregante... ? Am I pregegnant or am I okay?”

https://youtu.be/NDvaRF4HQHQ

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Look y'all, honestly nothing much really happens in this chapter but it is SO PREFERABLE to what's about to happen that we wish it could last forever!!!! 

Sex changes everything! The whole plot of this whole series hinges on whether or not they bone!! Sex saves lives!!

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Fam, the moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived . . . 

SEX. 

Edward and Bella finally do the do, and BOY do we have a variety of thoughts and opinions. Like, is waiting so long really worth It? And, does It live up to the hype? Also, why is no one concerned about venom sperm??

You can be sure we get to the Bottom of each of these questions. (We do also discuss bottoming vs topping.)

Remember, abortion is healthcare. 

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You know how we complained about wanting more drama at this wedding? Well, be careful what you wish for: the big bad wolf is back...

Also this is the last time Bella will ever see her parents APpaREntLY I GuEsS???

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BUCKLE UP EVERYTONE IT'S WEDDING TIME!!!! Bella doesn't care though so she doesn't tell us very much. And we ask a big question...has SMeyer ever even been in a wedding??? 

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The baby foreshadowing is STRONG, y'all. Did you know Edward and Bella are gonna have a baby in this book? Well, did you?? Not so surprising when they talk so much about doing it but refuse to prepare or practice. But will it be one of these terrifying immortal children that were apparently a huge fad back in the day? Only one way to find out.

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WE'RE BAAAAACK! And just like a vampire, our love for you guys is immortal. In this episode we catch up from our break, and dive into the first chapter of Breaking Dawn to find that Bella has truly not changed one iota. Our girl is a debbie downer and we love her for it!

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Listeners! Thank you for sticking with us through Eclipse! In this episode we close out the third book of the Twilight Saga with some of your quality analysis, a spirited debate over whether or not Pokemon is animal abuse, and underscoring that now and forever we are Team Leah because Jacob is a butthead. 

Email us your thoughts on Eclipse at [email protected].

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SEE YOU IN MAY <3 

Bella is Big Sad and we're maybe a little unsympathetic about it, but that's what happens when we know Bella is about to get everything she thinks she's giving up!!! This chapter is no New-Moon-months-passing-by masterpiece, but at least we finally get some steamy Edward. And what would the almost-end of a Twilight book be without a scene of Bella and Edward trying to out-martyr each other?

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Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast (we'll be paused for April, fyi!)

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