Two Jons Don't Make a Right

Where are the heroes? Who are they? Where did they go? In this cowardly new world of “me’s” and “I’s”, where are the steadfast bulkheads, holding fast the water to the land, shouting into silent darkness - “We”. Are they politicians? Artists? Writers? All we know is, their numbers are few and dwindling still. These necessary men and women, these children of God, these raised sails, catching the wind and propelling us into the unknown, will break the inertia of our oversated minds and lead us to a higher justice. A collective plane of consciousness. A place where freedom is easy, and subjugation forsworn. 

A concept. Two Jons, a Fartvan. No right turns. Simplicity. Add a guest and the flame is lit. The journey begins and the conversation flows like a river through a canyon, informed subconsciously by seemingly arbitrary rules followed to the letter, designed to free the passenger’s mind and invite them to live inside a shared dream. A dream of two guys named Jon. Schroeder and Daly. Tall and average. Fans of coffee and sports and Los Angeles. Begun in the worldwide pandemic of 2020 and never meant to last. A podcast had a built in finale. Rare? You betcha. But what would it be? This finale? We Jons could only guess, but we knew Harri Woliner would be joining us for it. Harri started as a fan, and became a constantly-mentioned Easter Egg, his name dropped in every episode as if there was a plan, but there never was one. A big buildup to join the list of guests. We hope he’s happy. We sure are. 

And speaking of heroes - consider yourself, the Two Jons Don’t Make a Right listener. Maybe you had a casual relationship with us, or maybe you got into it. But whatever your commitment level, you helped prop up an idea. You threw your hat in the ring to stave off the darkness. You showed up. Perhaps that’s what heroes are in this cursed age. The ones who raise their hand and get behind something bigger then themselves. The ones who bravely commit to an idea, however absurd, because it’s the only thing they have left. But never right.

The Jons are joined by the legend Tom Scharpling for a rightless romp on some rousing roads. Scharpling is great on the mic, and has recently been proudly sponsored by Shure, having cut his teeth on SM7Bs from New Jersey to LA. Ouch! The boys cover everything. No stones are left U-turned. You’ll see how the sausage is made and then how it’s baked into an amazing information-calzone you can take an exclusive bite of. Enjoy!

Director Writer and Artist (Borat 2, Human Giant, Eagleheart) Jason Woliner joins the Jons in a rightless reverie that will left you wanting more. The Boys eat fancy donuts and take turns regaling listeners with stories told in a good humor and at a pace.

Scott Aukerman, Comedian, Podcaster, Comedic Podcaster, Comedy Bang Bang, Comedy Bang Bang TV Show, and now a spin with the 2 Jons boys. this guy's done it all. A "white whale" of sorts to the Jons, Scott's reputation preceeds him ("by about 11 inches." - Milton Burl on SNL ) and Scott delivers like a pro, weaving his way through the conversation as the Jons weave through traffic, and after all that weaving, what's 'left' is a basket... of dicks! Just Kidding! Of fun!

The brilliant and hilarious Owen Burke joins the Jons for an afternoon of laffs, lefts, and love.

Islands has a new record out called "What Occurs" and Islands lead singer Nick Thorburn couldn't be more stoked to release it Friday June 21st.

Lead singer Nick Thorburn leans against the jet black wall of LA's "Club Zebulon" and languidly sips his White Claw spritzer.

"I love the new record. It's called "What Occurs"" he offers, blue eyes piercing through the hazy dimness of the hipster mecca.

"But the thing is, I spent dozens of hours on this album, I put my friends on it, we collabed on it, it was a beautiful experience putting it together, but here's the thing - A.I. might do a better job than bands."

Nick pours himself into a booth at the back of the bar and slides all the way back, like a greased up newborn, to the booth jukebox, where he shuffles through potential selections with his nimble fingers.

"The Doors, Bon Jovi, John Cale, Paula Abdul. All the new music sucks" he sputters as he snaps his fingers for a waiter.

"Garcon! I'm about to spill!"

The server makes their way over as Nick, like a petulant little puck, pours his White Claw spritzer all over the table.

"Want a tip, lady? Don't buy no Brooklyn Bridges!"

Nick stands and starts "flossing".

"My s$$%t blows all that s%^&t out of the water!"

All of Club Zebulon is now looking at Nick.

"But me and Jon went on a roadtrip and man... AI might just be better than bandssssss!"

Nick gyrates like Weiland at a sock-hop.

"... I don't care what Jon says, and how good AI writes songs about the 2 Jons Podcast in many genres, it may be better, but can it do THISSSSSS????

Nick smacks the jukebox with his light blue loafer.

"Johnny Be Good" comes to life and Nick starts Twisting! And then all of Zeb starts Twisting!

"This is just like Back To The Future! With Doc Brown, Marty and the Mom? Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

Nick pulls out copies of What Occurs and starts tossing them out like a frisbee golfer on PCP.

"One hundred Twenty One Giga-What-Occurs Martyyyyy!"

Islands' What Occurs'

11/10 Perfect Record

L.A. Native Haley Joel Osment hops in the FARTVAN and talks to the Jons about being Kendrick Lamar's newest muse, being confused with evil preacher Joel Osteen, and starring in AI when he was a kid. 10/10.

This week the Jons welcome Poli Van Dam, singer, guitar player (former Bomb Pops) and Liquid Death sales rep and Hearse Driver who takes them on a tour of beautiful West Adams, including the Black Dalia house and the intimidating cul-de-sac from Training Day! Poli injects the Jons with an official sponsor - Liquid Death! Their sparkling and still water and flavored water is great! Check it out at your local watering hole or store where fine drinks are sold!

Double Jons, Double Sklars, forming like Voltron with the Fartvan as the head! Is it a double match made in Double Heaven or double Hell!? The hilarious Sklar Brothers hop in the Fartvan for a sizzling drive around Hollywood. Randy and Jason crank it up to 10 and keep the Fartvan rocking from start to finish. Mile after mile, they crack up the Jons, who both simply can't get Kenough! With the Sklars you can't turn wrong, and with the Jons you cant turn right!