Noah and Allie are stuck.

Several years ago, their children found an incriminating text message on Noah’s phone, which led to a (not entirely unexpected) confession—Noah had been having an emotional affair with his coworker. This disclosure was devastating to Allie but, after some self-reflection, she decided she wanted to forgive and move forward. This decision had the unexpected consequence of more details about Noah’s infidelity coming to light. With the possibility of his wife forgiving him, Noah admitted that the affair had also been sexual.

In the years since this full disclosure, Allie and Noah have applied significant effort to move past the affair—they’ve seen therapists, worked with coaches, and have tried living separately—but they are still stuck.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Allie and Noah to address the barrier to recovery that they can’t seem to scale—Noah’s inability to confront who he actually is.

This episode addresses:

Infidelity and its relationship to validation

Betrayal and our capacity to be blind to ourselves and our spouse.

Honesty and Self-Confrontation

Using Crisis in Marriage as an Opportunity for Growth

What it takes to restore Trust in Marriage

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The advice offered through Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information.  It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care.  Although Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a trained psychotherapist, she is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these sessions, but rather using her training to inform these sessions.  Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment.  The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever.  The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease.  The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.