Unbox Yourself: Coming Out Later in Life with Samantha Fox®

Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®

What happens when a tsunami wave of WLW awakening crashes into a life you've carefully built and then recedes, leaving everything rearranged?

In this episode, Sam shares two stories that will feel deeply familiar if you're in the middle of your own queer awakening. The first is a clarity call with a woman who felt electrified by another woman for the first time, committed to staying in her marriage, and is now trying to reassemble the pieces of herself in the wake of something she can't unfeel. The second is Sam's own story of meeting her catalyst and how six weeks after swearing she would never get divorced, her entire world shifted.

What Sam wants you to hear: the certainty you're searching for is not the destination. It's a moving target. And that's not a failure! That's life.

In this episode:

• Why your truth today doesn't have to be your truth in a year and why that's actually good news
• The real reason we're so desperate for a label (lesbian? bisexual?) and what happens when we stop grasping for one
• How Sam went from "I will never be single" to genuinely loving her own company and what that means for you
• Why there is no "right time" to do this work and what keeping yourself from it is actually costing you
• The only constant you can actually rely on when everything else feels uncertain

Whether you're in the thick of an awakening, newly single, newly questioning, or still trying to figure out what label fits, this episode is for you.

Unbox Your Sexuality® coaching and programs help women who are questioning or coming into their not-straight sexualities later in life learn to trust what they feel, release shame and guilt, and live into the most authentic version of themselves.

What does it mean to live in the in-between? Not just as a society navigating uncertain times, but as a person who has never quite fit the boxes that were handed to you?

In this episode, Sam sits down with Jesse (they/them), a nonbinary musician, voice coach, and creator of the Sing Easy, an accessible group singing experience based in New York City. Jesse has spent a lifetime existing between categories- too queer for conservative Australia, not butch enough for the lesbian bar, too authentic for a music industry that required them to perform straightness just to get a foot in the door. What emerged from all of that was something far more interesting than any box could have held.

This conversation is warm, raw, and surprisingly funny. It covers a lot of ground.

What we talk about:

• What the Sing Easy is and why Jesse created it as a space where everyone gets to belong
• Growing up queer in Australia and losing music opportunities after being outed as a lesbian
• Being denied entry to a lesbian bar for not looking gay enough, and what that taught Jesse about the limits of community
• Discovering a nonbinary identity and what it actually feels like to live in the in-between every single day
• How music became Jesse's North Star for belonging, and how that has shifted
• The difference between knowing something and actually embodying it
• Using creative practice, including IFS, voice work, and art, to process massive life transitions
• The conversation Jesse had with their own body before top surgery, built out of clay
• Why practicing uncertainty might be the most radical thing any of us can do right now

Sam also shares her own recent experience with past life and life-between-life regression, and the message she received from her spirit guides about letting go of the story to live in the truth. It's one of those moments in a conversation where everything clicks.

About Jesse

Hey, I'm Jess McAvoy
A voice teacher, artist and musician, living in Brooklyn, originally from Australia. I am non binary and use they/them pronouns. 
I have three decades of experience as a performing artist and have centered my practice around authentic self-expression and revealing the path of least resistance to a more embodied life. 
What happens when you start really using your voice to express the truth of who you are?
I built my independent music career in 1990's Australia and has spent the last two decades coaching voice in Australia and in New York since 2014, eventually creating The Sing Easy™ - an embodied voice practice focused on ease and play, and geared towards welcoming even the most reticent singers. 
I think of the voice as a compass and a map and have watched it demonstrate repeatedly that everyone sounds better when they take up space as their true self. 

Connect with Jesse

Instagram  @thesingeasyexperience

Website...
jessmcavoy.com 

Connect with Sam

• Learn more about Unbox Your Sexuality
• Work with Sam 1:1
• Join the Beyond Straight Community
• Instagram

If you've ever told yourself your picker is broken, that you're attracted to the wrong people, or that your crushes always lead somewhere bad- this episode is for you. Sam unboxes why our attractions are never random or wrong, how early unmet needs quietly shape who we're drawn to, and why a crush not working out is information, not evidence of failure. Plus. why it actually takes two years to really know someone, and how to move forward with curiosity instead of self-blame.

Nobody has ever told a straight woman she needs to sleep with a man before she can call herself straight. Not once. So why are queer women held to a completely different standard? This episode is for women who know what they feel on the inside but are waiting for an experience on the outside to make it "real." Sam calls out the gatekeeping — inside the community and inside yourself — and makes the case that your identity belongs to you, full stop. No hall pass required. No experience necessary. Just what's true for you.

For women who have convinced themselves that staying is the kind thing to do.

In this episode, Sam sits down with Tina, a married mother of two who spent fifteen years in a good marriage with a great husband — and still couldn't stop fantasizing about women. After a decade in therapy being redirected toward fixing her marriage instead of exploring her sexuality, Tina finally stopped trying to make herself straight. What followed was one of the most honest conversations she'd ever had with her husband, and the beginning of what she calls "clearing the decks for my big gay life."

Together, Sam and Tina unpack the question that stops so many women cold: is staying really about him — or is it about being too afraid to face what leaving would mean about you?

If you've been telling yourself you're staying for him — this episode will make you look at that a lot more honestly.

In this episode of Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®, Samantha and returning guest Christine Vargo, LCSW, get real about what it means to expand, and how to recognize when a relationship, a job, or an old story is quietly shrinking you.

This one's for you if you've ever stayed too long, lost yourself trying to keep the peace, or wondered why growth feels so much harder when you're with someone else.

They cover:

• The body signals most of us learn to ignore (and what they're actually trying to tell you)
• How early survival conditioning quietly becomes self-abandonment in adult relationships
• Why staying "too long" isn't weakness, it's a nervous system response
• The extra layer queer women carry: disconnecting from identity, not just emotion
• What it actually looks like to be in a relationship that gives you room to grow

Raw, honest, and worth your time.

What does it actually take to be ready for a healthy lesbian relationship? Not just "over" your ex, but truly grounded in yourself?

In this episode, Sam sits down with returning guest Michelle and her partner Dr. Liz Burke to get real about the solo journeys that brought them together. From therapy and shamanic healing to Buddhist practice, pottery classes, solo concerts, and TikTok crushes, Michelle and Liz share what those years of intentional self-work actually looked like, and how they knew they were finally ready.

They talk about:

• Why jumping into dating too soon can keep you stuck
• What "dating yourself" actually means in practice
• The moment each of them knew they were ready to let someone in
• How they built a relationship grounded in sovereignty, not codependency
• Their new offering, Relationship Ready Lesbians, for women who are done with the apps and ready to do the real work

This one is for anyone in that in-between place: healed enough to know better, but still figuring out how to get from here to a love that actually feels safe.

Learn more about Relationship Ready Lesbians here...

https://relationshipreadylesbians.carrd.co/

Are you questioning or coming out later in life and ready to go deeper? Connect with me here...

Free 15 minute call with me -  https://callwithsamantha.as.me/

Free Mini Workshop-Am I bi or Am I  Gay? 

https://unboxyoursexuality.com/am-i-gay-or-bisexual

Beyond Straight Community -  https://unboxyoursexuality.com/bi-life 

Unbox Your Sexuality® : A Sexuality Liberation Program -  https://unboxyoursexuality.com/cohort-1

For women who have spent years over-giving in relationships and are starting to question what they actually want for themselves.

In this episode, Samantha Fox and therapist Christine Vargo unpack the word "deserving" and why it might not be the empowering word we think it is. They explore how worthiness gets tangled up in patriarchal conditioning, how attachment styles shape what we believe we're allowed to want, and what it actually means to stop being useful and start showing up for yourself.

This podcast is for women who are waking up to same-sex attraction later in life and wondering if what they're feeling is real—or just a symptom of something else they need to fix. If you've been told (or told yourself) that your feelings are happening because you're bored, going through menopause, or struggling in your marriage, this show will help you stop gaslighting yourself and start getting curious. Samantha Fox, therapist, sexuality doula and coach, offers straight talk, deep validation, and a framework for unlearning the conditioning that's kept you from knowing yourself. Whether you're questioning, coming out, or figuring out what the hell comes next, this is your permission slip to trust what you feel.

This episode is for women who are navigating WLW attraction, relationships, and the confusing space between obsession and love—especially if you're a late bloomer lesbian or came out later in life.

In this conversation with therapist Christine Vargo, LCSW, we talk about:

• What limerence is and how it's different from love
• Why lesbians U-haul and move so fast in relationships
• The role of childhood trauma, neurodivergence, and attachment in limerence
• Red flags when you think you're in love after a week (or a month)
• Why no contact is essential after a breakup
• How to stay with yourself in relationship and slow down
• The "bump contract" and what your relationships are here to teach you

Start here for free: ⁠HERE⁠

Join Beyond Straight: ⁠HERE⁠

Explore Unbox Your Sexuality®: ⁠HERE⁠

Listen to Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox: Podcast: ⁠HERE⁠

Instagram: ⁠HERE⁠

Website: ⁠HERE⁠

Connect with Christine Vargo, LCSW: ⁠HERE⁠

Christine is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Gestalt Therapist, trained Daring Way™ Facilitator, and founder of The Real Poetic Paradox, LLC — a coaching business dedicated to supporting the LGBTQIA+ community in navigating relational dynamics, self-abandonment, and limerence. With over 13 years in private practice and an integrative approach rooted in trauma-informed care, Internal Family Systems, Somatic therapy, and Human Design, Christine brings both clinical expertise and deep compassion to her 1:1 work, clinical supervision, and groups.

In addition to her one on one work with clients, Christine is currently offering monthly group sessions for queer women navigating the experience of limerence, self-abandonment or trying to understand attachment dynamics in relationships. 

She’ll be launching her first online course: The Art of Staying: The Self-Trust Method for Love That Doesn’t Cost You Yourself in the Fall/Winter 2026.