High school romance is exciting, confusing and can have a lifelong impact on how we view love and future relationships.
In this episode, we hear Jason, joined by his buddy Tanner, share about how he and his first love connected and ultimately fell apart. His break-up haunted him with depression, insomnia, and his motivation to just show up every day.
After some time, support from family, friends, and professionals - he's turning a corner towards a brighter outlook on life and love.
My conversation with Jason is rich with common relationship problems that tend to stick to our shoes like unwanted toilet paper from a dirty bathroom. I know, it’s kind of a gross image. On the flip side, his break-up story ends in the same way you shake off the bottom of your tacky shoe – by abandoning unpleasant grime and walking away with a sense of relief.
When you’re young, do relationships really count as something real? If you like someone & they give you butterflies, does that mean you’re dating and it’s exclusive? What rules and boundaries make sense when you’re in middle school and high school? What happens when your parents find out you’re sexually active? What happens when someone cheats? What even constitutes cheating??? What happens when that new person becomes your best friend and then something special turns toxic and leaves you spun upside down and inside out?
Jason, his buddy Tanner, and I explore the ins and outs of these questions. You’ll find yourself picking sides, putting yourself in different shoes, and reflecting on similar memories.
At a junior high dance which they describe as “sinful and wildly inappropriate”, Jason gets kissed by a girl who has a rape-y vibe. The kiss happened against his will and he felt violated. Not only were his personal boundaries disrespected, he knew this was going to create trouble and drama with his first true girlfriend.
Short soap box – If you’re attracted to someone – it’s important to get clear consent before taking something from someone that they aren’t willing or ready to give you. It can be uncomfortable to find ways to get consent, sometimes it seems like we’re overcome by our desire and we lose control. That is unacceptable and inexcusable. There is a better way! Should this be something you relate to – it’s never too late to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Lasting impressions and scars can linger for a lifetime. Be someone who elevates others, not scares them into hiding.
As Jason’s relationship progresses throughout high school he finds himself, for the first time, starting to care deeply for someone that is not family or a close friend. The sacred place of trust he has behind his invincible shield gets poisoned when his girlfriend calls him distraught after drinking and playing spin the bottle.
We have options when someone tells us something important like this. She cheated. She told him right away. What happens when someone you care about hurts you? Do you throw the relationship away? Become super protective or controlling? Hide and act like it wasn’t a big deal?
