Shame doesn’t just show up — it moves in, uninvited, the moment a boy is abused. In this first episode, Xander shares how silence and secrecy buried his voice, and how shame followed him into every corner of adult life: work, relationships, even his own body. We’ll break down where that shame really comes from, the neuroscience behind why it sticks, and one simple strategy you can use today to start pushing shame back out the door.

If you’ve ever felt like shame defines you, this episode will show you the truth: shame is not your identity.

If you have questions, or you just want to share what you’re dealing with, send me an email.  I read my messages — your thoughts and your story matter here.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

Survival mode doesn’t always look like fear — sometimes it looks like procrastination, perfectionism, or endless busyness. In this episode, Alejandro’s story reveals how the nervous system keeps survivors stuck, and how you can spot the signs in your own life.

If you have questions, or you just want to share what you’re dealing with, send email.  I read my email messages — your thoughts and your story matter here.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Walking Time Bombs: Childhood Trauma in Adult Men, we explore how unresolved childhood abuse and emotional neglect can silently shape a man’s adult life—impacting his work, relationships, and sense of self. Through storytelling, expert insights, and real voices, we uncover how trauma often hides behind success, control, anger, and burnout. This episode invites men—and those who care about them—to begin seeing past the symptoms and into the deeper roots of emotional pain. Because healing starts with recognition, and survival isn’t the same as truly living.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

In this episode, Coach Thomas continues the journey of recovery, guiding you through the challenges of disclosure. Sharing your story can be terrifying—who do you tell? What fears hold you back? Tonight, we explore the barriers to disclosure and how opening up can be a powerful step toward healing. Tune in and discover another path to freedom.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

After taking a year-long sabbatical at the end of 2023 to focus on personal growth and reflection, Coach T is back and ready to dive into the hard conversations that matter most. In tonight’s much-anticipated live show, Coach T makes a slight shift in plans but delivers an impactful session on how the guilt from childhood sexual trauma keeps many survivors trapped in silence. Tune in as he shares a powerful word technique to help you start breaking free from guilt and begin reclaiming your voice. This is the start of a journey toward healing and transformation—don’t miss it!

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

Today's podcast Coach T is interviewed by Katie. Katie Koestner – First woman in history to speak out nationally as the victim of “date” rape. Cover of TIME magazine at age 18. Subject of movies on HBO and Lifetime. Outspoken activist and entrepreneur. 

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

Coach T explores the lasting emotional effects and profound losses caused by childhood sexual trauma, helping survivors make sense of their experiences and move toward a life of greater freedom, hope, and resilience.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

Coach T concludes the year by exploring how childhood sexual abuse can disrupt sexual satisfaction, helping survivors better understand these challenges and discover pathways toward healing and healthy intimacy.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

Today, Coach Thomas discusses a prevalent issue that surfaced in several coaching sessions with male survivors last week: C-PTSD and Intimacy Disorder. If this is something you struggle with, know this—you are not alone. Together, we'll explore why trauma can make intimacy so difficult and what healing can look like.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™ 

It's that time of year when organizations reach out to discuss the unique challenges survivors face during the holiday season. In this interview with NAASCA (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), Coach Thomas shares practical insights and hope for those navigating this difficult time.

I hope you enjoy the conversation. And remember: until you take the steps toward healing, you remain in the same place. Healing begins with the courage to take the next step.

With you in this,

Carry Less.  Live Free!

Break My Abuse Code™