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In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly, Jill McClennen sits down with Tolley Casparis, a death doula from Southern California, to explore the realities of supporting people at the end of life. They discuss the emotional challenges of caregiving, the importance of community, and how conscious preparation can create healing for both the dying and their loved ones. This conversation offers insight into the compassionate, yet often misunderstood, work of death doulas.

Tolley shares what it truly means to guide someone through their final days, addressing emotions that often go unnamed, such as anger, fear, and frustration. She emphasizes the power of holding space consistently and quietly, and how these small acts can profoundly impact both the person dying and their families. The discussion also covers the accessibility of quality end-of-life care, navigating medical aid in dying, and the delicate balance between volunteer and paid work in the field.

They explore the challenges around certification, the influence of social media on death doula work, and why ongoing learning and genuine community are essential for anyone supporting the dying. This episode provides an honest, grounded look at death doula work, conscious living, and supporting others with compassion and clarity.

https://deathprofesh.com/

Insta @tolleycasparis and @yourdeathprofessional

00:00 Introduction and Purpose

00:10 Welcome to Seeing Death

00:35 Guest Introduction: Tolley Casparis

01:01 The Realities of Death Doula Work

01:12 Challenges and Certifications

01:47 Personal Background of Tali Caspar

03:19 Balancing Paid and Volunteer Work

03:21 End of Life Care Plans

03:43 Dealing with Difficult Conversations

07:44 The Concept of a Good Death

17:47 Art and Grief

21:13 Certification Debate

24:19 The Challenge of Gaining Experience as a Death Doula

26:09 Heart-Centered Qualifications and Volunteering

26:56 The Debate on Charging for Services

29:08 Certification and Training Controversies

32:57 Marketing and Personal Branding

39:59 Navigating Client Relationships and Boundaries

44:46 Building Community and Setting Industry Standards

45:28 Conclusion and Call to Action

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