Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys

Boys are growing up in a world that will define manhood for them if we don’t.

What happens when a father decides to build a legacy on purpose — instead of by accident?

A powerful conversation about responsibility, redemption, and what it means to become the father you didn’t have.

In this episode of Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys, I sit down with father-child relationship coach Randall Gilbert, founder of Relentless Father’s Army, for a direct and heartfelt conversation about legacy, ownership, and emotional presence.

Randall shares his personal story of growing up without his father, the promise he made to his future children, and the turning point moment when a mentor challenged him to take responsibility for his home.

This episode is about more than fatherhood.

It’s about identity.

It’s about forgiveness.

It’s about becoming the solid foundation your family stands on.

1. Growing up without a father — and choosing to forgive
2. The two decisions that changed Randall’s life
3. The Four Legacy Pillars framework
4. Why consistency builds confidence in boys
5. Responding to disappointment without shame
6. Protecting sons in a digital, hypersexualized world
7. The importance of mentorship and brotherhood for men
8. Emotional regulation when children fail
9. Why financial provision is only part of a father’s role
10. Co-parenting and “sowing seeds” without immediate return
11. The danger of impatience in parenting
12. What it means to build a legacy that lasts 50 years

00:00 – Randall’s story: father absence and forgiveness

06:30 – The Four Legacy Pillars explained

12:40 – Consistency and confidence (the high school dance story)

20:00 – Guarding heart and mind in a digital culture

28:00 – The mentor who confronted him

35:30 – Failure, encouragement, and emotional regulation

42:00 – The greatest threat to a father’s legacy

47:00 – Co-parenting and planting seeds with patience

53:00 – “Will you be remembered 50 years from now?”

If today’s conversation stirred something in you, start here:

👉 Download: 5 Pivotal Tips on Parenting Boys https://sonhood.thinkific.com/courses/5-pivotal-tips-on-parenting-boys

This free guide will help you:

✔️ Understand how boys process emotion

✔️ Shift from correction to connection

✔️ Respond instead of react

✔️ Build trust without losing leadership

🔥 Ready to Take One Small Step?

If you’re listening and thinking…

“I want to do this differently.”

Let’s make it simple.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™(Limited Spots)

3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ 3 Days. One tiny, powerful action per day sent to your inbox.

✨ 1:1 Support. You message me your experience; I support you personally with insights.

✨ Limited Access. I only take 5-7 parents per week to keep the coaching personal.

No overwhelm. No pressure. Just steady progress.

👉 Email me at [email protected] Subject line: I’m in

OR

👇 Comment “STRONG” below and I’ll send you the Tiny Challenge details directly.

Randall Gilbert is a speaker, father-child relationship coach, and founder of Relentless Father’s Army — a community equipping men to become consistent, engaged, and purpose-driven fathers.

Drawing from personal transformation and mentorship, Randall developed the Four Legacy Pillars framework to help fathers become:

1. The Solid Foundation
2. The Wall of Protection
3. The Lighthouse
4. The Runway

His mission is to help transform one million lives by strengthening fathers from the inside out.

Website: relentlessfathersarmy.com

YouTube: Relentless Father’s Army

TikTok: Relentless Father’s Army

Email: [email protected]

https://linktr.ee/relentlessfathersarmy

https://skool.com/relentless-fathers-army-9850

🎙 Season 3: All About Boys

Too many boys today are navigating identity, desire, disappointment, and cultural confusion without steady guidance.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code explores the inner emotional world of boys through conversations with young men, experts, fathers, and reflective solo episodes.

This isn’t about fixing boys.

It’s about seeing them clearly — and helping fathers build the kind of foundation that lasts long after they’re gone.

Discover more at sonhoodcoaching.com

🎙 Subscribe & Share

If this episode resonated:

✔️ Subscribe

✔️ Leave a review

✔️ Share with a father raising sons

✔️ Comment with your biggest takeaway

#ParentingBoys #Fatherhood #RaisingSons #Masculinity #Legacy #RelentlessFather

Boys are growing up in a world where sexuality is instant, private, and unfiltered.

What happens when curiosity meets secrecy before it ever meets guidance?

A grounded conversation about pornography, shame, and connection.

In this episode of Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys, I sit down with Licensed Professional Counselor Patrick Eilers for a thoughtful and nuanced conversation about boys, pornography, emotional regulation, and what he calls “the vulnerability robber.”

Patrick shares from both his professional experience and his personal story — including being diagnosed at age 11 with Asperger syndrome (now ASD) and how that shaped his understanding of himself, relationships, and mental health.

1. Patrick’s early ASD diagnosis and how it impacted his identity and relationships
2. Growing up feeling socially different — and how that became a strength
3. His personal struggle with pornography during adolescence
4. How that experience led him to becoming a counsellor
5. Why pornography often becomes a coping mechanism
6. The role of secrecy in addiction cycles
7. Testosterone, biology, and what we do (and don’t) understand
8. Why social media amplifies sexualized thinking
9. The difference between attention and authenticity
10. What parents can practically do to reduce risk
11. Why vulnerability is often the first thing lost

00:00 – Patrick’s background, faith foundation, and ASD diagnosis

09:30 – His personal experience with pornography

14:00 – Biology, trauma, and addiction frameworks

18:30 – Testosterone: what we know and what remains unclear

22:00 – Social media and hypersexualization

26:30 – What parents can do before exposure happens

32:40 – “The Vulnerability Robber” explained

35:00 – Social media, compartmentalization, and secret lives

37:40 – Masculinity, authenticity, and cultural confusion

If today’s conversation stirred something in you, start here:

👉 Download: 5 Pivotal Tips on Parenting Boys https://sonhood.thinkific.com/courses/5-pivotal-tips-on-parenting-boys

This free guide will help you:

✔️ Understand how boys process emotion

✔️ Shift from correction to connection

✔️ Respond instead of react

✔️ Build trust without losing leadership

🔥 Ready to Take One Small Step?

If you’re listening and thinking…

“I want to do this differently.”

Let’s make it simple.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™(Limited Spots)

3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ 3 Days. One tiny, powerful action per day sent to your inbox.

✨ 1:1 Support. You message me your experience; I support you personally with insights.

✨ Limited Access. I only take 5-7 parents per week to keep the coaching personal.

No overwhelm. No pressure. Just steady progress.

👉 Email me at [email protected] Subject line: I’M IN

OR

👇 Comment “STRONG” below and I’ll send you the Tiny Challenge details directly.

Patrick Eilers is a Licensed Professional Counselor with nearly a decade of experience working with individuals and couples navigating anxiety, depression, addiction, and life transitions. He previously specialized in sexual addiction recovery and now works as a general practitioner while leading Bloom Works Concepts and Coaching. His work integrates psychology, theology, and a strong commitment to creating safe spaces for honest healing.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrickeilersbloomworkscc/

Bloomworks: Mental Health Resources

Too many boys today feel unseen, misunderstood, or quietly overwhelmed. And far too often, their parents feel the same.

Season 3 of Unlocking The Parenting Code is centered on understanding the inner emotional world of boys — through honest conversations with young men, experts, fathers, and solo reflections.

This isn’t about fixing boys.

It’s about seeing them clearly — and learning how to show up with steadiness, compassion, and courage.

Discover more at sonhoodcoaching.com

If this episode resonated:

✔️ Subscribe

✔️ Leave a review

✔️ Share with a parent raising boys

✔️ Comment with your biggest insight

#ParentingBoys #BoysMentalHealth #EmotionalIntelligence #RaisingSons #Masculinity

Boys are drowning in information and starving for steadiness. What happens when a man chooses regulation over reaction… rhythm over chaos… responsibility over performance?

In this episode of Unlocking The Parenting Code: All About Boys, I sit down with Casey Muze to explore how grounded men are formed — and what parents can do right now to model that steadiness.

Casey shares his experience growing up navigating depression, identity tension, and unspoken emotional needs — and how rhythm, mentorship, and emotional intelligence became central to his healing and leadership.

We explore the gap many boys experience between performance expectations and emotional validation, and why being seen and heard may be the most powerful prevention work of all.

Growing up feeling emotionally unseen by his father

The impact on young men with hereditary mental health and substance use patterns

Navigating identity tension: “not Black enough” and “not White enough”

Fact vs. fiction thinking during depression

How rhythm, drumming and-box breathing became therapeutic tools to regulate anxiety

Slowing down instead of reacting when boys struggle

Mentorship as structured emotional empowerment

Auditing social circles and leadership environments

Emotional intelligence as a core leadership skill

00:00 – Casey’s upbringing and early emotional landscape

05:10 – Achievement without emotional validation

09:45 – Mental health, heredity, and depression

14:30 – Fact vs. fiction thinking

19:15 – Identity tension and belonging

25:40 – Discovering rhythm as therapy

31:20 – Breathing, cadence, and anxiety regulation

36:10 – Emotional needs of boys 41:00 – Mentorship and leadership

46:35 – Slowing down instead of reacting

56:00 – Emotional intelligence as leadership

If today’s conversation stirred something in you, start here:

👉 Download: 5 Pivotal Tips on Parenting Boys https://sonhood.thinkific.com/courses/5-pivotal-tips-on-parenting-boys

This free guide will help you:

✔️ Understand how boys process emotion

✔️ Shift from correction to connection

✔️ Respond instead of react

✔️ Build trust without losing leadership

🔥 Ready to Take One Small Step?

If you’re listening and thinking…

“I want to do this differently.”

Let’s make it simple.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™(Limited Spots)

3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ 3 Days. One tiny, powerful action per day sent to your inbox.

✨ 1:1 Support. You message me your experience; I support you personally with insights.

✨ Limited Access. I only take 5-7 parents per week to keep the coaching personal.

No overwhelm. No pressure. Just steady progress.

👉 Email me at [email protected] Subject line: I’m in

OR

👇 Comment “STEADY” below and I’ll send you the Tiny Challenge details directly.

Casey Muze is a mental health speaker and rhythm-based practitioner who uses steady cadence, story, and presence to help people return to regulation, clarity, and grounded leadership. Rooted in tradition and lived experience, his work bridges neuroscience, emotional well-being, and the timeless power of rhythm to restore what stress, trauma, and disconnection have worn thin. Whether serving youth, caregivers, or communities, Casey speaks plainly and works deliberately—guiding others back to strength, purpose, and a steadier way forward.

https://www.facebook.com/CaseyMuzetheroyalspeaker

CaseyMuze.com

Too many boys today feel unseen, misunderstood, or quietly overwhelmed. And far too often, their parents feel the same.

Season 3 of Unlocking The Parenting Code is centered on understanding the inner emotional world of boys — through honest conversations with young men, experts, fathers, and solo reflections.

This isn’t about fixing boys.

It’s about seeing them clearly — and learning how to show up with steadiness, compassion, and courage.

Discover more at sonhoodcoaching.com

If this episode resonated:

✔️ Subscribe

✔️ Leave a review

✔️ Share with a parent raising boys

✔️ Comment with your biggest insight

#ParentingBoys #BoysMentalHealth #EmotionalIntelligence #RaisingSons #Masculinity

In this episode, I sat down with Antonio Sosa for a conversation about masculinity, emotional development, identity, and relationships. Antonio shares his personal journey growing up in a traditional Mexican family, navigating cultural displacement, emotional numbness, and rigid expectations of manhood. Together, they explore how boys learn to survive emotionally, how those survival strategies can later become obstacles, and what it takes for men to reconnect with themselves, others, and a sense of purpose.

From money and success to intimacy, divorce, and modern dating, this episode offers listeners a rare window into the inner world of a young man actively unlearning inherited messages about masculinity and redefining what it means to live with integrity, presence, and emotional awareness.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Antonio Sosa is a thoughtful voice in conversations about masculinity, personal growth, and intentional living. Born into a traditional Mexican family, Antonio’s early life was shaped by adventure, cultural transitions, and emotional upheaval following his parents’ divorce. These experiences eventually led him down a path of self-inquiry, entrepreneurship, and deep inner work.

Antonio is passionate about self-awareness, emotional honesty, physical discipline, and building a life aligned with one’s values rather than external expectations. Through his reflections on relationships, money, identity, and men’s mental health, he invites other men—and the parents raising them—to move beyond survival mode and toward connection, responsibility, and embodied presence.

1. Growing up in a traditional Mexican family and the impact of divorce
2. Cultural identity, belonging, and navigating life between worlds
3. Emotional numbing as a childhood survival strategy
4. Masculinity messages boys absorb—and what needs to be unlearned
5. Redefining success beyond money, status, and external validation
6. Money, scarcity, comfort, and emotional patterns around finances
7. Functional depression, emotional disconnection, and men’s health
8. Divorce, intimacy, and learning to relate more honestly
9. Modern dating culture and common misunderstandings
10. Healthy masculinity, honesty, and responsibility in relationships
11. Community, men’s work, and why boys and men shouldn’t go it alone
12. Work, purpose, and choosing short-term sacrifice for long-term vision

Links

https://antoniososa21.substack.com/subscribe?params=%5Bobject%20Object%5D

https://www.linkedin.com/in/antonio-sosa-28b12851/

https://patreon.com/TheBalancedLife? utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copy Link

www.youtube.com/@SoulofSosa

instagram.com/soulofsosa?igsh=eHpqcDFpZ2lrbDJ3&utm_source=qr

X x.com/theantoniososa

Tik Tok tiktok.com/@soulofsosa?lang=en

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soul-of-sosa-podcast/id1672706980

open.spotify.com/show/7q8FrXmHTWZvgbLyx8pwHN?si=WrpSNVAGSlW3uzNT2xWwBQ

https://www.facebook.com/antonio.sosa21

https://soundcloud.com/antonio-sosa-342927472

*********

SEASON 3 IS DIFFERENT

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

Discover more @sonhoodcoaching.com

In this episode, I sit down with Jeremy Swick, a young man whose life story begins in Guatemala and unfolds in Wisconsin. Jeremy was adopted as an infant after spending his first six months in an overcrowded orphanage during Guatemala’s civil war. What I didn’t fully understand going into this conversation was just how fragile and uncertain his start to life had been—and how deeply those early experiences shaped the man he’s become.

Jeremy shares openly about being dropped as a baby in the orphanage, suffering multiple skull fractures and a serious brain injury, and how doctors once believed he might never thrive. He also tells the remarkable story of discovering that one of the babies who shared his crib was adopted by another family in Wisconsin—and still lives just an hour away today.

Raised by deeply loving parents, Jeremy reflects on identity, belonging, and what it means to grow up as a brown child in a predominantly white community with parents whose lived experiences couldn’t always mirror his own. He speaks thoughtfully about curiosity as a lifeline—how learning history became a way to understand himself, his country of birth, and the world around him.

This is a grounded, honest conversation about masculinity, resilience, and what helps boys grow into men who feel seen, capable, and connected.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Guest Bio

Jeremy Swick is a historian, storyteller, and media entrepreneur known online as The Average Historian. Born in Guatemala City and raised in Wisconsin, Jeremy has worked with institutions including the Pro Football Hall of Fame and the College Football Hall of Fame, and most recently served as an archivist for the Wisconsin Black Historical Society. In 2025, he left his 9-to-5 to launch Swick Media, where he helps organizations and podcasters tell meaningful stories through digital media and podcasting.

We talk about:

1. Adoption, identity, and the lifelong search for belonging
2. How early trauma can quietly shape adult behavior and resilience
3. The importance of earned support and what it taught Jeremy about growth and trust
4. Why team sports—especially rugby—can be a powerful buffer for boys’ and men’s mental health
5. Community, loneliness, and where young men feel most disconnected today
6. The pressure to “perform” versus living honestly
7. What parents can do to truly support their sons’ interests and agency
8. Jeremy also shares practical wisdom about asking better questions of young men, following curiosity instead of convention, and why parents don’t need to be perfect—just present, reflective, and willing to grow alongside their children.

Links

https://www.instagram.com/theaveragehistorian https://www.instagram.com/pod.intotheunknown https://www.instagram.com/swickmedia414 https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeremyswick/ https://www.youtube.com/@pod.intotheunknown https://www.tiktok.com/@theaveragehistorian

**********

SEASON 3 IS DIFFERENT

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

Discover more @sonhoodcoaching.com

In this episode of Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys, Kathy sits down with Keanu Mendoza, a warm, reflective, and deeply thoughtful young man whose early life could have easily led him down a familiar path of drugs, gangs, and incarceration. Raised without his parents present, Keanu spent his early childhood with his grandmother before her passing, and later with an aunt and uncle who stepped in during his most vulnerable years.

Keanu shares openly about growing up feeling lonely, shy, and unsure of who he was — including being bullied at school, struggling with self-confidence, and longing to belong. Grounded in faith and shaped by consistent, firm, and loving guidance, he chose a different path. Today, Keanu is serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, is a first-generation college graduate, and is continuing his education with plans for graduate school.

This conversation offers hope to young people who feel trapped by their circumstances — and powerful insight for parents, mentors, and educators into what truly helps boys find their footing, their voice, and their sense of self.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Keanu Mendoza was born and raised in California. He grew up without his parents present and spent much of his early childhood being raised by his grandmother before her passing. In his early teens, his aunt and uncle stepped in to raise him and his brother, providing the stability and guidance that would change his life’s direction.

Keanu is currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, the first in his family to do so. He is also a first-generation college graduate from Southern New Hampshire University, where he earned both his associate and bachelor’s degrees in business administration. At 26 years old, Keanu continues to pursue growth, learning, and service, with plans to begin graduate studies.

Family & Early Life

• Raised primarily by his grandmother; family instability and early loss.
• Met his biological father only once (around age 5–6).
• Mother in and out of his life, mostly out, and struggling with substance issues.
• Moved in with his aunt and uncle in 7th grade (age 12–13) — the adults who “stepped up.”

School, Identity & Bullying

• Growing up a shy, chubby child and being bullied at school.
• Struggles with self-confidence
• How loneliness and the need to belong made him vulnerable in adolescence.

Turning Points & Mentors

• The decisive influence of his uncle and aunt: structure, discipline, and steady presence.
• Other local mentors (neighbor/church leader) who introduced him to faith and music.
• How one person’s intervention can change a boy’s trajectory.

Choices, Resilience & Purpose

• Choosing a different path despite generational patterns of drugs, gangs, and incarceration.
• Joining the U.S. Marine Corps: finding structure, belonging, and purpose.
• Education as a pathway — first-generation college graduate and plans for further study.

Masculinity, Vulnerability & Mental Health

• What “being a man” means to him: protection, responsibility, follow-through.
• The challenge and importance of vulnerability for young men.
• Overthinking, coping with setbacks, and using rituals (journaling, prayer, friendship) to process emotions.

Contemporary Pressures

• Social media’s role in comparison, “death scrolling,” and insecurity.
• Peer pressure, relationships, and substances as common derailers for boys.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/keanu-mendoza-9ab71729b/

https://www.instagram.com/youngscholar_23/

Learn more about Kathy and Sonhood Coaching:

https://sonhoodcoaching.com

Book a discovery call or explore the Tiny Challenge™:

https://calendly.com/kathy-sonhoodcoaching/tiny-challenge-call

**********

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

In this episode, Kathy sits down with Joey Stoneburgh, — a corrections officer, husband, father, and podcast host — for an honest look at childhood, masculinity, mental health, and the reality of working inside Canada’s largest jail. Joey opens up about growing up between two homes, the feeling of not fully belonging, the decisions that could have taken his life in a different direction, and the personal redemption he continues to choose every day.

We dive into fatherhood, boundaries, identity, and the invisible pressures many men carry. Joey shares openly about mental health challenges, testosterone, and the work it takes to stay grounded. His story is one of self-reflection, resilience, connection — and choosing who you want to be, even when early life experiences may pull you in other directions.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

• Core values & identity

Joey reflects on honesty, integrity, inclusivity, and humor as foundational to who he is — and how these values led him into law enforcement.

• Working in corrections & mental health

How 13 years in a jail environment impacts a person, the risk of becoming hardened, and the outlets that kept Joey grounded (sobriety, jiu-jitsu, family, meaningful routines).

• Childhood in a split family

Navigating two households, complex family dynamics, feeling like he didn’t fully belong in either, and how those early experiences influenced his teens and early 20s.

• Searching for belonging as a teen

Partying, substance use, risky decisions, and the fine line between becoming an officer or becoming an inmate.

• Religion, symbolism & redemption

The surprising church visit that shifted his perspective, the powerful encounter at work that deepened his belief in good and evil, and the story behind his “redemption” tattoo.

• Boundaries & self-worth

Learning to stop people-pleasing, set limits with friends and family, and step into a stronger sense of self-respect.

• Masculine pressure, drive & self-criticism

Feeling like a failure in his late 20s, the internal pressure to be “the provider,” the battle in his own mind, and how ambition can be both a strength and a struggle.

• Fatherhood & testosterone

How becoming a dad transformed his identity, feeling “off,” low libido, and emotionally overwhelmed during that period, and his history of anabolic steroid use.

• Masculinity, mentorship & mixed messages

Outdated gender expectations, exposure to pornography, confusing early guidance from elders, and how culture shapes boys’ understanding of manhood.

• Fears for today’s society

The tension around motherhood, gender roles, and why he believes children need present, emotionally engaged parents.

• What he wants to model for his daughter

Presence, healthy masculinity, emotional availability, and the kind of father who gives his daughter a strong blueprint for future relationships.

Joey Stoneburgh was born in Huntsville, Ontario, and now lives in Edmonton, Alberta, with his wife and daughter — the two people who ground and inspire him most. He has spent 13 years working as a Corrections Officer at the Edmonton Remand Centre, Canada’s largest jail. Outside of work, Joey stays active through Jiu-Jitsu and weight training, and he hosts a podcast where he interviews people from all walks of life. At his core, Joey values honesty, integrity, inclusivity, laughter, and genuine connection.

https://www.youtube.com/@Sparebedroomstudios

https://www.instagram.com/joeystoneburgh/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.stoneburgh/

Learn more @sonhoodcoaching.com

Raising Boys Who Become Remarkable Men: Intentionally Parenting Your Son from Birth to 8. Grab your copy today.

**********

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Kathy sits down with Pat Barber—father of four boys, longtime CrossFit leader, and thoughtful voice on masculinity, parenting, and personal growth. Pat opens up about the evolution of his core values, his marriage, and the lessons he brings into raising boys today.

Together, they explore conflict, communication, risk-taking, digital safety, sexual development, honesty, and the role of testosterone in shaping boys’ inner worlds. Pat shares candid stories about raising four sons in the mountains, why he gives his boys real opportunities to take risks, and how he and his wife navigate everything from arguments to conversations about porn, erections, and emotional regulation.

This episode offers grounded wisdom for parents raising boys in an age of misinformation, overprotection, hyper-connectivity, and confusion around masculinity.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Pat Barber is a dedicated husband, father of four boys, and one of the most respected leaders in the functional fitness world. A longtime CrossFit athlete, coach, mentor, and community builder, Pat is known for his thoughtful reflections on fatherhood, integrity, and personal development. His work centers around authenticity, honesty, and strength—values he works to model in the gym, online, and at home. Pat speaks openly about parenting, relationships, and raising emotionally intelligent boys in a rapidly changing world.

Identity & Core Values

• Pat’s three core values: authenticity, honesty, strength

Marriage & Conflict Navigation

• Pat’s turning point in conflict with his wife
• Learning to let go of “being right”
• Distinguishing core values from trivial arguments
• Curiosity as a parenting and relationship tool

Parenting Boys

• Raising boys to be emotionally intelligent and self-aware
• When to guide vs. when to let children experiment
• Giving kids real risk: autonomy without negligence
• Risk comparison: physical danger vs. digital danger

Discipline, Boundaries & Communication

• How Pat handles disagreements with his boys
• Encouraging them to explain their reasoning
• When to say “No” and when to say “Show me your plan”
• Apologizing to kids and modeling emotional regulation

Masculinity & Testosterone

• Why parents need to understand testosterone surges
• How hormonal changes shift boys’ psychology
• Normalizing sexuality without shame
• Lack of societal literacy around male development
• Effects of testosterone seen through the lens of transgender men

Digital Safety & Porn Exposure

• Why Pat keeps devices in open spaces
• The dangers of unsupervised online access
• Navigating anime, sexualized content, and curiosity
• Talking to boys about erections, masturbation, and sexual urges

Men, Purpose & Cultural Narratives

• The impact of narratives that men are “dispensable”
• Harmonizing pro-men and pro-women mindsets
• Teaching boys that strength is for service, not dominance

Self-Reflection & Personal Growth

• Why the work starts with yourself
• How two people create “a third thing”—the relationship
• Learning to trust oneself in an age of misinformation
• Asking: Why am I doing what I’m doing as a parent?

https://www.instagram.com/thefathersguild/?hl=en

The Fathers Guild - Website

The Fathers Guild - Podcast

Sonhood Coaching

**********

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

Discover more @sonhoodcoaching.com

In this first solo episode of Season 3, Kathy reflects on what she has learned from 21 in-depth conversations with young men, dads, and experts on male mental health and masculinity. With November marking Men’s Mental Health Month, she explores why it’s so important that parents, caregivers, and communities pay closer, more consistent attention to the emotional well-being of boys and young men.

Kathy shares why this season shifted from talking about boys to talking with the young men they grow into—and how those conversations revealed a powerful missing piece in how we understand and support boys.

A moment from her interview with her son stands at the heart of this episode: the unspoken pressure many boys feel to keep their emotions “flat”—not too happy, not too sad, not too anything. She unpacks the cost of emotional restriction and how it affects boys’ mental health, relationships, coping skills, and lifelong well-being.

Despite the challenges, Kathy ends with hope. Across her interviews, she met young men who are building community, doing inner work, showing up honestly for their families, and actively redefining what healthy masculinity can look like. She also gives a preview of next week’s inspiring episode featuring a father of four boys who is committed to doing this work from the inside out.

• Why November’s focus on men’s mental health matters—but isn’t enough
• The “missing piece” in understanding boys’ emotional worlds
• Her son’s powerful insight about the pressure to stay emotionally flat
• How emotional suppression impacts addiction, mental health, and connection
• Signs of hope: young men choosing honesty, presence, and growth
• A preview of next week’s episode with a dad raising four boys with intention

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Men’s mental health doesn’t begin in adulthood—it begins in childhood.

If we want mentally healthy men, we must raise emotionally supported boys.

And that starts with listening—to their stories, their struggles, and their truths.

If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with a parent, a father, or a young man.

**********

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

Free resources @sonhoodcoaching.com

When fatherhood meets entrepreneurship, life can feel like a balancing act — one that tests patience, priorities, and purpose. In this warm, honest conversation, Kathy talks with Thomas Buttino, a dad of three (including twin toddlers!) who’s learning how to build both a thriving business and a deeply connected family life.

Together, they talk about the real stuff — curiosity, boundaries, mistakes, forgiveness, and how 10 minutes of undivided attention can change everything. Thomas shares personal stories that remind us that connection doesn’t come from control — it comes from courage and conversation.

This is an episodeI for every parent who wants to raise boys who feel seen, valued, and deeply loved — and for every dad learning that strength and softness can live in the same heart.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™:

3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at [email protected] and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

• The three core values that guide Thomas’s life and fatherhood: love, loyalty, and honesty
• How to talk to boys about pornography, alcohol, and curiosity — without shame or fear
• The importance of keeping communication open before teens turn to the internet for answers
• How 10 minutes of focused time a day can change your relationship with your kids
• What it means to raise authentic, emotionally intelligent young men
• The difference between a work ethic and a life ethic — and why fathers need both
• Why embracing failure and risk is key to growth and resilience
• How fathers can model love without losing their sense of strength

Thomas Buttino is a husband, father, entrepreneur, author, speaker, and mentor who’s on a mission to help Dadpreneurs — fathers building both businesses and families — achieve extraordinary growth in life and work. Through his mentoring and writing, Thomas encourages men to lead with authenticity, love, and purpose, and to create lives where success and connection thrive side by side.

• https://www.instagram.com/automatedexec/
• https://www.facebook.com/thomas.buttino
• Website: The Automated Executive

Learn more @sonhoodcoaching.com

Email: [email protected]

Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and emotional health.

🔹 And raw, real wisdom from dads who are walking this road every day

🔹 Solo episodes where I reflect on what I’ve witnessed, wrestled with, and learned

At the heart of this season — and at the heart of Sonhood Coaching — is a mission:

To understand the inner emotional world of boys, to recognize the very real challenges they face, and to name the damaging myths and societal expectations that continue to shape how we see, treat, and raise our sons.

This is not about fixing boys.

It’s about truly seeing them — and learning how to show up differently, with compassion, courage, and connection.

Together, we’re building a world where boys feel safe to be their authentic selves.

Because when we get it right for our boys, we begin to heal something much bigger.

Learn more about raising boys who become remarkable men @sonhoodcoaching.com