Have you ever said, or had someone say to you, "It could be worse, you could be _____." Or maybe you've thought, "well at least I'm not ____" or, "It's better than being ____."  

These are all examples of comparative suffering.  This is when we look at someones pain or struggle and minimize it by comparing it to the difficult time someone else is having.  

When I was a new mom, I really struggled balancing my new role at home with my professional role at the radio station.  I once had someone say, 'It could be worse, you could have 5 kids at home to parent and not just one.'  Yeah,  I'm sure parenting 5 kids is really hard but that doesn't mean my struggle of parenting one wasn't hard for me.  I believe that person was just trying to provide perspective but what they did was minimize what I was going through.  

We do this to ourselves as well. We try to make sense of our own pain by comparing it to other people's pain.   

"I shouldn't complain about how much I'm working, at least I have a job."

The upside to this is it can provide perspective.  The downside is it minimizing your own feelings. Just because you have perspective doesn't mean your feelings magically go away.  If you don't pay attention to those feelings and allow them to be there, they will fester and show up at inopportune times.  

If you've ever judged how your feeling because it's not as bad as what someone else is experiencing, you need to listen to this episode. 

Want to quiet the noise in your head?

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

Life is both good and bad.  It is both positive and negative.  No matter how old you are, how much money you have in the bank or where you live, you will experience both ups and downs, as well as times of stress and times of peace.  

That's because life is 50/50.  Fifty-percent of the time it's good and 50% of the time it's bad.  It's always 50/50.  It's 50/50 when you're 20years old.  It's 50/50 when you're 45 years old.  It's 50/50 if you have $2,000 in the bank.  It's 50/50 if you have $200,000 in the bank.  It's 50/50 if you live Nashville.  It's 50/50 if you live in Maui.  It may be a different set of victories and struggles but it will always be 50/50.  

When you begin to realize this it can create a sense of relief. It always you to be present and fully experiencing life as it is right now. 

Chance are you've been conditioned to believe 'there' is better than 'here,' so it's common to be constantly pushing, grinding and wishing for something different because you think it will all be better when you get 'there,' wherever 'there' is.  I'm here to tell you life is 50/50 here and it will be 50/50 when you get there.  

So how can you slow down and become more present today?  Click listen and find out.  

Want to quiet the noise in your head?

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

I have to admit, I've never considered the difference between 'thoughts' and 'thinking' until I read, 'Don't Believe Everything You Think' by Joseph Nguyen. 

His book is a simple read that delivers a fresh, powerful perspective on 'why your thinking is the beginning and end of suffering.'  

In this episode, I use Nguyen's book to explain the difference between thoughts and thinking, as well as how I've used this distinction to calm my own worrying, anxiety and stress.  

If you've ever felt stuck in the spiral of a negative thought loop, check out this episode for examples of how to get out of it. 

Don't Believe Everything You Think, By Joseph Nguyen

Want to quiet the noise in your head?

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

You've heard the saying, 'The only thing constant in life is change.'  While that's true, it's not very helpful when you're the one experiencing the change and don't know what to do about it. 

One of the biggest changes parents will go through is when the kids grow up and leave the house.  I've had friends describe it as a 'loud quiet' in the house and it feels like you're wearing your shoes on the wrong feet.  

My guest this week knows that feeling and can help.  Allie Hill is an Empty-Nest Life Coach who helps moms create a roadmap for themselves so they can still feel purposeful, content and excited about this next chapter of their life. 

If you're looking for clarity on your next steps of what to do during this time of transition, this is the podcast episode for you. 

Want to quiet the noise in your head?

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

How to Connect With Allie Hill:

www.alliehillcoaching.com

Facebook

Instagram

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

Separating the facts from your story is one of the simplest, most powerful tools I teach.  But just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy.  In this podcast I'll explain why this concept is so powerful, how to figure out what's a fact and what's a story (believe it or not this can be tricky) and what to do with that valuable information. 

By separating the facts from the story you'll get clarity and perspective that may have eluded you up until this point.  If you tend to overthink issues, worry about stuff and get overwhelmed easily ... this is the episode for you. 

Want to quiet the noise in your head?

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

Byron Katie said it best, "When you argue with reality you lose but only 100% of the time."   It's true!  When you argue with what's actually happening, because you think something else should be happening, it doesn't change anything.  All it does is make you feel like crap. You create more suffering for yourself. 

Just because you think something 'shouldn't' be happening doesn't change the fact it IS happening.  Or vice versa, just because you think something 'should' be happening doesn't change the fact that it isn't happening.  

This week I share my own struggle with reality.  I get personal and open up about some of the ways I've been arguing with reality and what it's caused me.  I know a lot of you are going through some stuff right now and I hope that by sharing what's happening in my world, you're able to learn from my experience and find a little more peace in your own world. 

Want to quiet the noise in your head? 

Click <> to Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

How to Connect With Pamela:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

TikTok

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside myself.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

My life has been a bit hectic and chaotic lately.  The routine and structure I value has been disrupted, leaving me a bit 'itchy.'  I gave myself permission NOT to do a podcast this week but I decided to crack the mic and share with you what I've learned through this rough patch.  

You hear me say, 'there's value in vulnerability.'  I'm being vulnerable with the hope you get value out of it.  And if you don't, that's okay too. 

Want to feel better faster?

Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/4waystofeelbetter

How to Connect With Pamela:

-Website:  https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/

-Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/PamelaHughesCoaching

-Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/pamelahughescoaching/

-TikTok:  @pamelahughescoaching

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside of me.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

Being a parent is one of the most challenge and rewarding things you'll ever do.    

Being the parent of an infant or toddler is no easy task with all those sleepless nights and temper tantrums.  Parenting teenagers on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame.  It's tough finding that balance between telling your kids what to do and letting them figure it out on their own.

That's why I've invited Kristen Goodman on the podcast this week.  She helps parents communicate with their teens without yelling and power struggles.  

If you feel like your teen doesn't listen to you and you find yourself constantly yelling, worrying and frustrated over their choices, then this is the episode for you. 

Kristen walks you through how to stay calm instead of losing your cool, what to say to your teens to get them to start talking to you and how to feel more confident and in control of your life so you can stop managing everyone else's emotions and expectations. 

Mentioned in this episode: 

78. What to Do About A Miserable Marriage

Kristen Goodman Website

Kristen Goodman Instagram

3 Ways to Avoid a Power Struggle with Your Teen

Want to feel better faster?

Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/4waystofeelbetter

How to Connect With Pamela:

-Website:  https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/

-Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/PamelaHughesCoaching

-Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/pamelahughescoaching/

-TikTok:  @pamelahughescoaching

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside of me.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

How often do you think about what you put in your mouth?  Do you ever think about what you eat and how it impacts your body?

Most of us do.  If you’re anything like me you probably think about eating more fruits and veggies and eating less sugar and junk.  I know when I do my body feels better.

Have you ever thought about what you put into your brain?   The impact news, social media, and tv has on your mind?

Most of us don’t.  If you’re anything like me, the first thing you grab in the morning is your phone.  I know when I do I start my day off a bit stressed.

The type of media you consume, and how much you consume is going to have a dramatic effect on your mood, your stress level and your overall sense of well being.

You’ve heard of the ‘Food Pyramid.’  In this podcast I introduce the ‘Media Pyramid.’  It’s the same concept but instead of veggies, protein and carbs, it’s books, news and social media.

This comparison or analogy really helps me and I want to share it with you because  it takes this abstract idea of media consumption and makes it more concrete so you feel empowered to make healthier choices.

Want to feel better faster?

Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/4waystofeelbetter

How to Connect With Pamela:

-Website:  https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/

-Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/PamelaHughesCoaching

-Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/pamelahughescoaching/

-TikTok:  @pamelahughescoaching

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside of me.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.

What's your word worth?  When you say you're going to do something, do you actually do it?  

Most of us believe we follow through on our word and most of the time we probably do.  

But I don't think we're as good at it as we think.  

AND I don't believe we truly know what going back on our word is costing us.  

Sure, life happens and sometimes we need to drop back ten and punt, but that is the exception and not the norm.  

I'm talking about the times you just change your mind and then break a commitment.  

Make no mistake, you're ALLOWED to change your mind.  In fact, I encourage it. BUT ... when you do, there is an important step you need to take in order to live with integrity for yourself and others. 

In this episode I'll take a look at the different ways we go back on our word, the reasons we do it and a simple way to turn it all around.  

Want to feel better faster?

Grab my free guide:  4 Ways to Feel Better FASTER.  Small, simple, strategies you can start today to feel better tomorrow!

https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/4waystofeelbetter

How to Connect With Pamela:

-Website:  https://www.pamelahughescoaching.com/

-Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/PamelaHughesCoaching

-Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/pamelahughescoaching/

-TikTok:  @pamelahughescoaching

About the host:

Hi, friend! My name is Pamela Hughes and I’m a former talk show host turned life coach. After 20 years in the news business, I walked away from what people thought I should do and I did what I wanted to do … coach people who are stuck like I was and help them find relief, awareness and control within themselves.

This was no easy task and I’m not here telling you it was. I had to take full responsibility for where my life was and then decide where I wanted it to go. It was time to stop complaining about my situation and do something about it. I had to stop looking for others to validate me and start having my own back. This required looking inside myself for the answers instead of looking outside of me.

I told you it wasn’t easy … but I wouldn’t change one thing about my journey because it led me right here to you reading about it, maybe identifying with aspects of it and hopefully being inspired to get UNSTUCK.