Unswtnd + Unfltrd

The topic of intimacy in Islam is a conversation that may at times come laced with shame and stigma. In today's episode, I sit down with Noha Alshugairi, to dismantle the misinformation surrounding this while also educating women about their rights, the power of no in a marriage and diving deeper into what is haram vs halal.

I often wonder how we deviated so much from the days of our Prophet (pbuh) when it comes to seeking knowledge and empowering ourselves in terms of intimacy in Islam. How have we allowed a wall of shame to be built around this very discussion, while also allowing it to become halal overnight when someone gets married?

Often times, we avoid discussing the topic of sex and intimacy due to cultural ills, but this is truly a disservice to our ummah as well as Islam, which empowers women as a whole.

I am excited to be joined by Noha Alshugairi, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist, who will help us answer the many questions we all have, especially the ones we may be too shy or embarrassed to ask.

Moving past the birds and the bees talk, I wanted to finally understand the rights we have in Islam when it comes to being emotionally and physically intimate with our significant other.

Some of the topics Noha addresses are the differences in sexual desires between partners, what is deemed to be absolutely haram and what comes with a difference in opinion, lack of sexual compatibility and physical intimacy between couples, as well as bleeding on the first night and the pressure placed on couples to consummate their marriage right away. We cover this and so much more and I can't thank Noha enough for being a resource in this sometimes uncomfortable but necessary conversation.

I do want to mention that this is a very mature conversation, so please do navigate this as you see fit when it comes to your children who may be listening alongside you.

Enjoy and follow the pod on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Noha Alshugairi on Instagram:
@nohaalshugairi

Check out Noha's website here for more resources:
Sakina Counseling

Have you ever loved and resented someone at the same time and is it healthy?

In Episode 3 of Season 3, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Yasmine Cheyenne, a self healing expert, teacher and speaker, to discuss how to set boundaries rather than having uncommunicated expectations, how to navigate past trauma that has transformed itself into present resentment and knowing the difference of what is and what isn't meant to be yours.

Some of us struggle with the act of setting and enforcing boundaries in our lives in order to have healthier relationships with those whom we love. Some of us have only experienced independence later on in life and unfortunately it came with no guidance. So how does one truly set boundaries if we have struggled with finally having agency over our choices and even our own voices?

I stumbled upon Yasmine's insightful posts a few years ago and I couldn't help but feel a sense of validation and with it came a huge sigh of relief. Finally, someone understands what I have experienced and to see it being put into words was truly gratifying to say at the very least.

In this episode, I open up to Yasmine about the struggles I have with setting boundaries for myself which at times can come with anxiety and guilt, because for the longest I didn't have a clear understanding of what boundaries truly are. It's always been a struggle of mine to express my needs to my loved ones without feeling like I am pushing them out or punishing them, yet this is the complete opposite of what the purpose of a boundary truly is.

We also discussed how 'healing is an educational endeavor with no graduation', why we resort to anger and how we can better communicate our boundaries, what to do with the feeling of resentment towards those whom we love the most and how to find our purpose.

I truly hope you walk away from this episode with a better understanding of how to advocate for yourself while also understanding you are worthy of being loved and respected.


Enjoy and follow the pod on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Yasmine Cheyenne on Instagram:
@yasminecheyenne

Check out Yasmine's website here:
https://yasminecheyenne.com

Check out Yasmine's Podcast:
The Sugar Jar

Huge thanks to Podcorn for sponsoring this episode. Explore sponsorship opportunities and start monetizing your podcast by signing up here:
www.Podcorn.com

"We do not worship God because God needs it, we worship God because we need it. Prayer is not you reaching out for God, it is you responding to God, Who first reached out to you."

In Episode 2 of Season 3, I have the pleasure and honor of sitting down with A. Helwa, the award winning author of Secrets of Divine Love. It's not everyday that you come across a book, other than the Quran itself, that can speak to you in such a profound manner.

Her novel is filled with insightful gems and metaphors that allow us to reconnect to our faith in such a personal manner.

In this intimate conversation, Helwa delves into the subject of how we were not created to find God, rather we are to remember and to return to the relationship we already had with God.

Much like the book, in this discussion we go on a journey searching for truth and meaning. We talk about the concept of Allah's door always being opened and how if only we realized that all we have to do is just walk through it.

Helwa discusses why we are so quick to put our trust in Allah's creations, yet hesitant in putting our trust in Him, the same Creator who owes us nothing, yet breathes life into us every single day. She also beautifully explains how the Quran not only teaches us how to experience God but how to interact with God.

I truly hope this episode gifts you with the clarity you are searching for on your spiritual journey. Secrets of Divine Love is a book I highly recommend for everyone to read no matter where you are on your path to rediscovering your connection to God.

Enjoy and follow the pod on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow A. Helwa on Instagram:
@quranquotesdaily

Purchase Secrets of Divine Love here:
Secrets of Divine Love

Huge thanks to Podcorn for sponsoring this episode. Explore sponsorship opportunities and start monetizing your podcast by signing up here:
www.Podcorn.com

Have you ever taken an honest moment to look at the life you have created only to realize it wasn’t your own?

I am opening the new season as well as the New Year with Sara Luchetti, an intuitive healer and spiritual guide. The above question is one that Sara has posed and I couldn't help but to really dig deep into my own heart and soul to fully understand, who am I really?

In Episode 1 of Season 3, Sara takes us on her personal journey of her transformational process, or as she would like to call it - her rebirth. We dive deep into what our purpose is in this temporary world, who we are at our core and how do we remain patient with ourselves while we are on this personal life journey.

How do we reach the point where we can finally let go of the things (and sometimes the people) that no longer serve us? Are we capable of finally reaching the point of believing we are more than what we see and can we overcome our limiting beliefs?

We also discuss the concept of relationships and how to not allow the perception of others to control us while also understanding that every person we cross paths with is, in essence, a version of ourselves.

This conversation will also bring us to the realization that we must embrace our darkness in order to experience happiness. But how does one define happiness and is this something we need to continuously chase after?

I hope that whatever part of your life journey you are on - that you find this conversation to be enlightening and one that motivates you to strengthen your relationship with your self.


Follow the pod on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Sara Luchetti on Instagram:
@saraluchetti

Check out Sara's site for more info:
https://www.saraluchetti.com/meetsara

Pinch us...no really, please do, because we can't believe we are closing out another season of this podcast.

In our Season 2 finale, we can't help but to tear up and laugh simultaneously at the year we have just had. 2020 was a year of reckoning but it was the year that pushed us beyond what we could have ever imagined for ourselves and for this platform.

This podcast was birthed via a DM thread between Zaina and Dounya, both sharing their desire to create a platform for the stories that needed to be heard. Stories of women from all walks of life, triumphs and hardships, interlaced with silver linings and a few technical difficulties (technology will always be our worst enemy lol).

But here we are, two seasons later, over 260K downloads and an unbreakable digital sisterhood. In this episode, we share what we have learned thus far, the fears we have overcome, the power that lies within believing in yourself, how we have dealt with loss and trying our best to grow and thrive throughout it all.

How does one properly thank a community of women who have supported us since day one? How do we extend our gratitude to a sisterhood that has uplifted, motivated and continuously pushed us to keep going? At this moment, we don't know how to truly express our infinite love for our guests and listeners, but we want you to know how much you have impacted us in such immeasurable ways.

We truly hope to continue this journey with you all, but we have to share a bittersweet truth in this episode - please tune in all the way to the end. Just know that we will always be indebted to you all, and we truly hope this platform has brought you joy and the feeling of belonging to a sisterhood that can withstand anything.

Enjoy and remember to check us out on Instagram:

@unsweetenedandunfiltered

How do we go from relationship struggles to relationship goals?

In Episode 37 of Season 2, we sit down with Zahra Aljabri to discuss what it means to marry our unfinished business, how we can overcome the pain points of our current relationship and how to deal with insecurities from our past.

Zahra is a spiritual coach who will help guide us when it comes to the obstacles we face in our relationships. She breaks it down for us when it comes to dealing with past issues manifesting themselves into our current relationships. We also discuss how to deal with our partner's insecurities, especially when they feel entitled to our social media passwords, for example.

So, where do we go from here?

Almost every solution lies in having brutally honest conversations with our significant other especially when it comes to what each of us may be lacking. We hope this episode provides you with clarity, regardless if you're single, engaged or have been married for ten plus years.

Every relationship comes with its struggles, so why not have the necessary tools to overcome them?

Enjoy and remember to follow us on Instagram:

@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Zahra on Instagram:

@zforzahra

Follow Practical Muslim on Instagram:

@practicalmuslim

Check out Zahra's Website for more Resources:

Zahra's site

Most of us  have a story or two....ok maybe a whole book series...about how we grew up sheltered. 

In Episode 36 of Season 2, we sit down with Zaynab Bajwa to discuss the topic of growing up sheltered and if it leads to codependency.  For some of us this could be a triggering topic, seeing that it brings back memories of every time our parents basically said no to anything without a valid explanation.

We've all done it - where we found ourselves standing in front of a mirror practicing our speech to give our parents so that we can convince them to be able to go to the mall with our friends...without adult chaperones, of course. This speech could have won us an Emmy, yet it was received with a flat no from our parents. 

We can all go on and on about these stories to prove how sheltered we were but now that we are navigating life as adults, we can't help but to wonder if our upbringing had any long term effects on us.

Zaynab, who is now a mother herself, chats with us about the topic of codependency and how she is choosing to raise her son. Our discussion includes how we each faced the real world after leaving our parents nest,  if sheltered children grow into sheltered adults and how can we have more compassion towards our parents for doing the best that they could do at that time.

Enjoy and remember to follow us on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Zaynab on Instagram:

@thenewyorknest

If I asked you, do you love yourself, what would you say?

In Episode 35 of Season 2, we sit down with Alia Taha, who isn't a stranger to our podcast (she was a guest on Season 1), to discuss the root of self love and the resilient act of choosing to love ourselves despite our flaws, traumas and lived experiences.

When you sit across from Alia, you know you will always leave the conversation feeling empowered, motivated and loved. Alia is the type of friend who beautifully reminds you of Allah and His mercy.

In this raw conversation, she also reminds us that we are worthy of loving ourselves even in our darkest moments and that God has intended to create us perfectly imperfect.

We are constantly searching for self love in all of the wrong places and we are chasing validation from Allah's creation rather than the Creator Himself.

True self love is the ability to see ourselves through the eyes of Allah.

And in today's episode, we will be connecting the dots between the ability to love ourselves and how it relates back to our journey with God.

Enjoy and remember to follow us on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Alia Taha on Instagram:
@aliataha_


 

If you've ever experienced anxiety walking down the skincare aisle of your local drugstore, trust me when we say this, you're not alone!

In Ep 34 of Season 2, we sit down with
Dr. Fatima Fahs, aka Dermy Doctor, to discuss all things related to skincare. Most of us may have a love/hate relationship with our skincare routine and in this episode we dive deep into the do's and dont's when it comes to how to take care of our skin!

Did you know that acne is the most common skin issue in the U.S.?

If you're someone who has suffered from acne breakouts and from maskne then you definitely want to tune in. We cover what the common causes of breakouts are, what products work best for fading post acne marks and what we should use to combat acne at home.

We cover the most common skincare mistakes, which face mask best suits our needs, how do dermatologists feel about aestheticians and if we really need to use a toner and so much more!

We hope this conversation answers all of your skincare related questions. It is jam-packed with tips and recommendations for all of your skincare needs!

Enjoy and remember to follow us on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Fatima/Dermy Doctor on Instagram:
@dermy_doctor

Our votes have been cast, our ballots have been counted, the new President-elect and VP have been announced and the world can finally let out a collective sigh...temporarily.

On this week's Unfltrd Thoughts, we sit down with Arij Mikati, an activist and anti-racism educator, to discuss where do we go from here post election.

A projected 161 million Americans voted in the 2020 elections - a nail biting, stress induced presidential race that resulted in Biden becoming President-elect and Kamala Harris as the first Black, South Asian female President. 

Now what? Our goal of kicking Trump out resulted in us voting for individuals who we may not be that fond of their histories and prior policies. 

In this conversation we discuss key points such as how the voting results reflected how we, the people, are truly in power, how do we hold Biden/Harris accountable, what do we do about both of these candidates endorsing AIPAC and how do we challenge their support of the illegal occupation of Palestine?