By Dan & Brad
The podcast currently has 85 episodes available.
Untaming Masculinity has been on a hiatus, but we're getting the band back together! We'll be doing things a little differently this time (hint: Episode 49 might give you some clues).
Come check out this episode to see what our plans are!
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Standard – a level of quality or attainment.
Every man has a standard. For some men, the standard they have established is one of excellence. However, the standard set forth by most men leaves much to be desired. So, the question must be asked: how can a man raise his standard?
In raising one’s standard, you are required to have an understanding of who you are and who you want to be while being unwilling to compromise. As Steve Maraboli said, “You are the point of origin for everything in your world: you set the standard for yourself.”
It’s critical also to raise the standard of those around you continually. When it comes to your band of brothers, the collective standard is something you should constantly be looking to improve. As you inspire and will each other forward, your shared meaning and purpose will result in the bar being raised.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss standards and why every man must not only aim to raise his standard but the standard of the men around him. They share tactics to help you establish a higher baseline for your standard and how you can leverage those around you to become the man you are destined to be.
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Preemptive – serving or intended to preempt or forestall something, especially to prevent attack by disabling the enemy.
As men, we all too often find ourselves not communicating our plans and not taking action before any number of events. As a result, we can sow discord and distrust with those closest to us.
When we make the effort to be preemptive, we get out in front of a situation by choosing to openly and transparently discuss and share plans, contingencies, and other possibilities that may exist. That level of preparedness not only positively impacts us but those around us, as well.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad dive into the concept of preemptiveness and why there is a remarkable power in choosing to preempt situations both personally and professionally. The guys discuss why choosing to be preemptive creates a level of trust in those around you and how choosing to communicate will enable you to avoid common pitfalls that men find themselves struggling with.
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Appearance – the way that someone or something looks
We’ve all heard the saying, “A real man doesn’t care how he looks.” We all also know that saying is nonsense.
How a man dresses and carries himself is vital. He cannot reasonably expect to gain approval or influence if he shows up looking messy, unkempt, or as if he simply doesn’t care. How you appear is an outward manifestation of what you want others to see in you. Your appearance deserves to be taken seriously.
As the author Charles Hix once said, “Looking good isn’t self-importance; it’s self-respect.” By learning to dress well, work on your posture, and take care of your physical condition, you will start to gain a level of confidence that will pay tremendous dividends both personally and professionally.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss why a man needs to take pride in his appearance. They share some tips and tactics that have served them well in improving their appearance, from learning how to dress to giving a firm handshake. They share how taking action to improve their appearance has transformed their lives. They also discuss how you can start to develop your own style and what you can do to look your best in adopting that style.
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Something that can be challenging for a man is to find joy in the mundane or in the routine. Life has a few peaks and many valleys, so a lot of the time we find ourselves on the grind.
The grind can feel exhausting, but it’s while on the grind that we discover a lot about ourselves. It’s here where we find our purpose and meaning.
As we embrace the fact that character is built through struggle, we begin to find joy. As we begin to find joy, we start to look forward to what lies before us, and we become grateful for it.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss the concept of learning to find joy in the journey. Dan shares his current experience of putting together a home gym and how the various struggles he’s run into have become challenges he has looked forward to overcoming, while Brad discusses his long-standing challenge of becoming proficient at jiu-jitsu. The guys also discuss why finding joy in their journey has made them better men and how you can find the same.
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We all want to win. Not only that, but we want to win big. The reality is that we very rarely win big, and there are days when we must do everything in our power just to cross the finish line.
The thing we can’t do, however, is lose. We often let go of the rope and allow ourselves to lose. Whether it’s with our diets, our relationships, or our careers, we simply concede defeat and fail hard.
Life rarely goes as planned. Adversity awaits around every turn, and wins are much harder to come by when things don’t go according to plan. As Rocky Balboa said, “Life ain’t about how hard you can hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” We must choose to keep moving forward, regardless of what gets thrown at us.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss why it’s vital for us not to lose, even in situations where we can’t win. They get into an in-depth conversation on why you can’t keep putting off winning until tomorrow and how, eventually, those tomorrows will be gone, and you will only have yourself to blame.
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Mask – a covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or terrify other people
As men, we all too often put on masks, whether it is as simple as telling everyone that we’re “fine” when we clearly aren’t or putting on a façade for others.
We all too often put on these masks to hide. We are afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, or too proud to admit that we aren’t fine, and the choice to simply hide can prove to be destructive.
As men, we need to learn to push past saying we are “fine” and allow ourselves to open up and lean into our band of brothers.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad dive into the masks we wear as men and tackle why we do it. They share insight on why learning to take the mask off, while intimidating, helps liberate a man and provides some actionable tips on how to open up, let your guard down, and share what is going on in your life with the men around you.
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Ask – Say something in order to obtain an answer or some information.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad field questions from listeners in their monthly ASK ME ANYTHING. If you have any questions you would like to ask the guys in a future AMA, post them on Instagram (@untamingmasculinity) or in the Untaming Masculinity Facebook Group.
Show Highlights
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Patience – the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
All too often, we find ourselves getting impatient not only with ourselves but with others. Whether we become impatient with our kids or co-workers, or because we cannot hit that PR at the gym as quickly as we want, we often allow impatience to control us. As an old Chinese proverb says, “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.”
While we want things done our way, right now, life doesn’t work that way. As Bruce Lee once said, “Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.” While impatience lacks mental strength, the ability to learn patience, while difficult, is one of the most rewarding things a man can achieve.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss the topic of patience and how they’ve learned to develop it. They discuss various personal and professional situations where they showed impatience and learned valuable lessons along the way. They also dive into how we can develop the strength to be more patient both with ourselves and others. They discuss the importance of understanding that getting where you want takes reps and practice, both of which require time, patience, and discipline. The guys also provide tips to help answer the question, “How can we develop the strength to be more patient?”
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This week we revisit one of our favorite episodes – a deep, insightful conversation with our friend Ben Kjar where we discuss overcoming adversity and the power of a positive mindset. We hope you enjoy it and look forward to new episodes next week!
We are not victims. In a world where too many people use victimhood as a badge of honor, it’s the men who do not allow themselves to play the victim card who ultimately achieve victory.
In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, the guys are joined by Ben Kjar. Ben was born with Crouzon’s syndrome, which is a craniofacial anomaly. As a boy, doctors told him he would live a different life, but he did not allow that to define him.
Ben has gone on to become an NCAA Division 1 Wrestling All-American, a highly successful real estate investor, a house flipper, and an international professional speaker. Most importantly, he has also become a husband and a father of three young children. He has adopted a Victor Over Victim mindset throughout his life and shared this message worldwide.
In this inspiring, fiery conversation, Ben discusses how his mindset was forged at a young age by a loving mother who would not allow him to feel sorry for himself. He discusses how this has led him to consciously decide to look at himself in the mirror daily and be proud of the man staring back at him.
Ben talks about understanding his core values, which he calls his 6 F’s (you’ll have to listen to learn all six!). He goes into how these 6 F’s have developed his mindset to enrich his life and allowed him to positively impact countless others positively.
This is the story of a man who decided not to allow what may have seemed to be an unfair hand to derail him but rather to springboard him to an abundant, successful life.
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The podcast currently has 85 episodes available.