Untaming Masculinity

Adversity – a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune

All men face adversity at various points in their lives. When it strikes, we are faced with a choice. We can either choose to fight or we can choose to give up. Nobody remembers the man who gives up.

There are few examples of adversity more harrowing than a cancer diagnosis. Staring down the very real possibility of your own mortality can bring even the strongest of men to their knees. In those moments, it’s paramount that we stand up and fight relentlessly.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by their friend Andy Musser. Andy is a landscaper and hardscaper by trade, an avid outdoorsman, a husband, and a father. In this remarkable conversation, Andy shares his experience of finding out he had cancer only weeks after finding out he was going to be a father, just as everything in life was falling into place.

He talks about how he was initially misdiagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer, being told he only had a couple of years to live, and how those initial dark days led him to turn to God and choose hope.

After that initial misdiagnosis, Andy was diagnosed with Stage IIIA colon cancer and approached his treatment and inevitable recovery with tenacity and relentlessness. He chose to study his enemy, fight aggressively, and never concede. That tenacity eventually led to his ultimate victory: a clean bill of health and being cancer-free.

Andy admits that he is grateful for cancer. Not because of the illness itself, but the lessons it taught him that he has now extended to all areas of his life. This is a story of determination and resiliency and one of our most powerful conversations yet.

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Structure – the arrangement of and relations between the parts or elements of something complex.

This week we revisit one of our most downloaded episodes – an interview with “The Swole Father” – Father Michael Butler! We hope you guys enjoy it and look forward to getting back to new episodes next week!

We live in a world where too many men have lost their way. All too often, we see men who have turned their backs on God and the church. However, a relationship with God is critical for a man to fully embrace his masculine self.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by Father Michael Butler, archpriest for Holy Transfiguration Orthodox Church in Livonia, MI, and professional bodybuilder.

In this wide-ranging, powerful interview, Father Michael discusses his journey to the ministry and how serving God has been paramount in his life and the lives of his family.

Father Michael goes into detail about how his work is done out of gratitude for all that God has given him and how his work has been especially focused on young men and the importance of the church in their lives. There is an influx of men finding their way to faith and the church and we discuss in detail what these men stand to gain through finding faith, including Truth, stability, accountability, and brotherhood.

We are not meant to undertake this journey alone. As men turn from themselves to others, they find their purpose and are led back to God.

Father Michael also shares how he discovered bodybuilding at the age of 53 and outlines his journey into the world of professional bodybuilding. Bodybuilding has positively impacted every facet of his life, including his ministry. It’s a powerful testament to it never being too late to start changing your life.

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Show Notes

• Holy Transfiguration Church

Contact Father Michael Butler

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• Facebook
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Culture – the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social groups.

When it comes to building a team or creating a family dynamic, culture is the connective tissue. The success or failure of a group depends greatly on how successful its culture is.

Building a culture is not linear. How you choose to build one should be based on the composition of the team and its shared values and objectives. If a culture is toxic, it will bring each of its members down.

Culture can seem difficult to build and cultivate, but it shouldn’t be. It simply requires identifying those shared values and objectives and allowing each member to play a part in them.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss something they are both passionate about; creating a killer culture. They share experiences in creating a legendary culture on their team within the Iron Council and how the lessons learned there have benefitted them professionally and personally.

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Potential – latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness

We all have bad days. We all may find ourselves in difficult situations that can push us to the brink. However, it’s far too common for men to give up or let go of the rope.

In times of adversity or struggle, it’s crucial to find ways to execute. You have to get yourself right so that you are able to perform when needed. Regardless of the circumstances you are facing, others are looking to you, and you have to be able to deliver to the best of your abilities.

It’s not easy to work on yourself when you or those around you are struggling. Too often, we as men feel that we need to focus on others, but it’s vital to make time for ourselves daily and prioritize our well-being. As you get yourself right mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you will have the strength to perform and endure any situation.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss the ability to perform regardless of the situation. They share some recent examples in their lives and the lives of other men where doing the work made all the difference when presented with a difficult circumstance. They also discuss some practical ways in which any man can perform to their potential.

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Recovery – a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength

When it comes to sleep, most guys know they don’t get enough. They go to bed too late, wake up too early and spend too much time sitting in a cubicle at work. They’re always tired and unable to perform at their best. What these men may not recognize is the direct impact rest and recovery have on their overall well-being.

Being able to adequately rest will allow you to recover sufficiently, which will help you be able to perform at your peak. If you are not well rested, the effects can be substantial, both mentally and physically.

There is a lot more that goes into rest and recovery than simply getting a good night’s rest. What you do throughout the day, your diet, your work routine, how you train, and your nighttime routine are a few crucial things that play a significant role in your ability to rest and recover. With the many factors out there, it can seem a little daunting when it comes down to knowing where to begin.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad sit down with Scott Shortmeyer, the host of The Rest and Recovery Podcast. In this wide-ranging discussion, Scott discusses what led him down the path of optimizing recovery and the many lessons he’s learned along the way. He provides some guidance to men who want to start to understand how to more fully optimize their recovery, through tactical tips and strategies.

Some of the many topics discussed include:

• The importance of not always going all out on days where you just don’t have it, and why that is so critical in your ability to recover adequately
• The role late-night snacking plays in impacting recovery
• Why you always find yourself getting up in the middle of the night
• How eliminating light in your bedroom can help you sleep better
• The importance of a nighttime routine
• How you can leverage technology to help support recovery

This episode is a great introduction to a fascinating topic and was one of our favorite conversations yet. It’s not one you will not want to miss.

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Resources Mentioned

• The Sleep Solution – Dr. Chris Winter
• The Rested Child – Dr. Chris Winter
• Rise App
• Whoop
• OOLER Sleep System

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Humility -a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness

Sometimes life throws you unexpected curveballs. Being able to handle those curveballs often means exhibiting a great deal of humility.

Humility is something that many guys bristle at. Vulnerability is another. All too often, being unwilling to authentically embrace your humility and vulnerability holds us back. However, learning to lean in and get uncomfortable is where true growth comes.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad sit down with their friend, Chris Gachko. Chris is the event coordinator for Order of Man, a father, a husband, and has a burgeoning career in cybersecurity. In this deep, powerful conversation, Chris talks about spending two decades in the hospitality and event coordination field for an international hotel chain, only to lose his job during the pandemic. Rather than feel sorry for himself, he humbly reinvented himself as a stay-at-home dad and transformed himself into an IT professional. He discusses in great length the lessons he learned along the way and how humility and vulnerability set him up to succeed.

Chris also discusses the power of finding a band of brothers and that the secret to creating this group of men is not to simply talk about your wins and successes but to reach deep within your soul and talk about the stuff that matters. The struggles and the insecurities. Through that, you will be able to transform your life.

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Leader – the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country

How often have we heard the term “born leader”? Truth be told, this term is a misnomer. Leaders are not born. Yes, some men have leadership characteristics that come naturally to them, but leaders are forged. So this begs the question: How is a leader forged? How can a “regular guy” learn to become a leader?

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by their good friend Steve Baumgartner. Steve is the host of The Fire Forged Leader Podcast, a husband, a father, a son of God, and a man who has forged himself into a leader over a two-decade career. In this fantastic, wide-ranging conversation, Steve talks about his difficult upbringing, which led him down a path filled with bad decisions. He shares in great detail his “Prodigal Son” moment, where he was staring down thirty years in prison as a 22-year-old father of three, and how he used that moment to rebuild his life and get himself started on a path of forged leadership.

In Steve’s podcast, he describes a Fire Forged leader as a leader who is forged through heat, pressure, and a whole lot of sweat. He discusses some of the sweat equity needed to excel in leadership both at home and in the workplace. He and the guys provide several examples of how successful leaders operate in the workplace, and what distinguishes a great leader from a mediocre one.

Every man has the ability to lead within his sphere of influence, whether that is in the workplace, at home, or elsewhere. This conversation is of value for anyone, with actionable tactics and strategies you can start applying today.

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AAR – A tool used to debrief a project or event to understand what took place, why it happened the way it did, and how to improve on it.

Happy New Year! As we embark on 2023, it’s important to take a look at the year that was and make an honest assessment. It’s vital to conduct an AAR (after-action review) to see what went well and what didn’t. Identify things that you set out to accomplish and succeeded in, as well as failures. A successful AAR is contingent on being honest and being in integrity with yourself as you evaluate, assess, and set out to improve.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad conduct an AAR of 2022 and discuss the year that was. They talk candidly about their wins, their losses, and the takeaways they will need to apply in 2023 and beyond. They also discuss not only their personal goals for 2023 but the goals they have to grow Untaming Masculinity and its underlying message.

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Choice – An act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities

It’s easy to fall off the wagon during the holiday season. Between all the parties, family dinners, and constant food and drink, it’s easy to get off track. Once you’ve gotten off track, it can be difficult to make the choice to get back after it, but it doesn’t need to be.

We are constantly presented with choices to make throughout our lives. Each of those decisions plays a vital role in framing our lives. The goal of any man is to make as many good choices as possible, yet realistically, we are going to make our fair share of bad choices.  It’s important to not only acknowledge that but accept it.
Not every decision you make will be a good one. There will be lots of neutral ones and plenty of bad ones. The key to success is to simply make good decisions more often than not. By so doing, you will keep pressing forward every day in becoming the man you are meant to be.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad talk about how to get back on track. They share some tactics, strategies, and insights they’ve used when they’ve gotten away from who they are as men and how to not allow a day or two to turn into months or years of neglect.  Especially after the holidays, it’s important to recognize that consciously taking your foot off the gas is fine (and arguably a good thing!) as long as you get back after it tomorrow.

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In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad field questions from listeners in their monthly ASK ME ANYTHING. If you have any questions you would like to ask the guys in a future AMA, post them on Instagram (@untamingmasculinity) or in the Untaming Masculinity Facebook Group.

Show Highlights

• What’s the biggest challenge men like us in the masculine self-improvement space face in today’s world?
• Why do men around us shy away and don’t respond when we talk about self-help or self-care practices?
• How do you teach management (money, time, resources, etc.) skills to a significant other without ending up in the dog house?
• How do you get your child to stop being picky about their food?
• And a short story on why it’s nice to be a bigger guy

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