Untaming Masculinity

Physically Capable – the ability to satisfactorily perform the essential job duties of the position, with or without reasonable accommodation, to which a man finds himself in

A man must take care of himself physically. Any man who has lost control of his physical condition is unable to truly become the man he is meant to be. Unfortunately, it’s far too common to see men who have not fulfilled their potential physically or who have yet to start on the path toward wellness. The question these men often ask themselves is “where do I begin?”

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by their friend Johnny Loreti. Johnny is a fitness professional who owns a performance center in downtown Boston focusing on personal training, rehab, and martial arts, and also operates as a health and performance consultant. In a wide-ranging, informative, and powerful discussion, Johnny talks about his journey from being a bartender after college to starting his performance center by simply accepting the challenge and encouragement of a friend who saw what he could become.

Johnny answers the questions of why a man should take his fitness seriously and how he can get started. Getting off the couch and getting moving is the first step, and he shows with some personal examples that it’s never too late for anyone and there is no challenge that cannot be overcome. He also discusses why it is important to track what you eat to increase your likelihood of success.

He also shares insights on why collecting data is so crucial for men on their fitness journey. He discusses the benefits of using devices such as Whoop and Oura, and why more and more individuals in the fitness space are using glucose monitors to achieve peak performance.

Whether you are just starting on the path to wellness or further along and looking to optimize performance, there is something in this conversation that will apply to you.

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Follow Johnny Loreti

• Personal Instagram
• Back Bay Fitness - Website
• Back Bay Fitness - Instagram
• Brazilian Top Team - Back Bay

Episode Resources

• Sleep Smarter by Shawn Stevenson
• Whoop
• Oura Ring

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Survival – the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances

As we rapidly descend on the holidays, we find ourselves being invited to parties and dinners with family and friends. For as many of these parties we look forward to, there are likely just as many that we dread. However, in any situation we put ourselves into, there’s no excuse to not show up as an exemplary man.

When we show up to a family holiday party, there are usually those guys that can be selfish jerks or guys who embarrass themselves and their loved ones. Whether it’s that brother-in-law that makes sure he’s first in line to eat, the uncle who refuses to clean up after himself, or the father who likes to get confrontational about politics, a lot of men embarrass themselves consciously or subconsciously.

What is so often neglected is that we, as men, are looked up to. Our kids watch our every move. Our sons will emulate us and our daughters will take note of the kind of men we are when they look for men to marry. Our wives are discreetly hoping that we are the man that everyone is looking to as an example. While too many men set a poor example, there is no excuse for us to do the same.

In this festive episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss some tactics that act as a men’s holiday party survival guide. They share five practical ways that you can show up to your family’s Christmas party this year and be the kind of man that others look up to and the kind of man that can take pride in himself and in his actions.

This episode is a great reminder of manners, stewardship, and of ownership. While nothing the guys talk about is earth-shattering, it’s a great reminder of the small things that make a remarkable difference.

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Lesson – an amount of teaching given at one time; a period of learning or teaching

There are few things as humbling as a first-time hunt. There are also few things that connect you to nature and your soul than spending time in a tree stand with nothing but your weapon, your instinct, and your mind. In these scenarios, there are valuable lessons to be learned.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan talks with Brad about his experience of spending a few days at deer camp and the life lessons that he found in a tree stand. During his few days in the woods, braving the elements, he discovered a lot about masculinity and himself.

One of those key lessons, especially on the hunt, is that of failure. Failure is often seen as a debilitating setback that cannot be overcome. This view is shortsighted and destructive. In reality, failure is a valuable lesson. We, as men, fail. We fail regularly. The conscious decision to learn from failure and to fail fast and fail forward is what distinguishes great men from the rest of the pack. By learning to finish your failure, you will ultimately succeed.

He also learned other valuable lessons that he discusses, including integrity and how choosing to obey the laws of the land when no one is watching is what distinguishes great men from mediocre ones. He discusses experiencing life lessons about legacy and rites of passage that are passed from generation to generation. He also spends some time talking about the thrill that comes from being on the precipice of danger and how men crave that in their lives.

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Suggested Resources

• Firing Frozen Lemons With Dylan Bain
• Adult Onset Hunting With Sam Ayres

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Suffer – experience or be subjected to something bad or unpleasant

This week we revisit one of our best episodes – an interview with fitness guru and all-around good dude, Anthony Diehl! We hope you guys enjoy it and look forward to getting back to new episodes next week!

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad have the opportunity to sit down with our friend, world-class professional strongman, bodybuilder, and fitness coach Anthony Diehl. 

Anthony shares the incredible journey that took him from working in corporate America to being able to build a successful coaching business. Oh, and he also conquered the strongman world!  He finishes by talking about his pivot into bodybuilding and how he’s focused on providing incredible resources to other coaches.

What sets a man apart is a willingness to suffer.  Take risks.  Be ok failing.  Anthony discusses the trajectory of his life and how it took a powerful turn simply because he was willing to take risks and potentially fail.  He, like many of us, was presented with some pivotal moments in his life to take a chance. Ultimately he chose to take them. 

Anthony leveraged the foundation he had set for himself in his professional career to create a thriving business, and he shares some tips and advice he learned along the way.  He also discusses some of the other projects and companies he’s working with and how he refuses to settle, simply because he is willing to suffer.

Anthony is the self-proclaimed World’s Strongest Nutrition Coach. He has helped hundreds of men and women transform their lives through fitness and nutrition.  If you are interested in his coaching or want a great, inspirational, no-holds-barred follow, you can check him out on Instagram (link below).  Also, support him and his friends at Hunt Lift Eat on Instagram at @huntlifteatofficial, or check out their website at https://www.huntlifteat.com.

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Contact Anthony Diehl

• Instagram
• Twitter
• Anthony’s LinkTree

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In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad field questions from listeners in their monthly ASK ME ANYTHING. If you have any questions you would like to ask the guys in a future AMA, post them on Instagram (@untamingmasculinity) or in the Untaming Masculinity Facebook Group.

Show Highlights

• What is the best way to approach a friend who isn’t being the man he could be due to keeping up the “badass” facade?
• Why are sports such a powerful method of male bonding?
• How do you know when to end a friendship? What are some red flags?
• How and where do you find positive men locally to surround yourself with?
• What suggestions do you have for not getting sucked into the negativity of old friends and just having a good time when at a social function?
• What are the biggest challenges you’ve both faced when it comes to building a vision you connect with and that drives you?
• And a short story on Dan’s nickname. You’ll have to listen for more on that one…

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Emotion – a feeling such as happiness, love, fear, anger, or hatred, which can be caused by the situation that you are in or the people you are with.

The relationship men have with money can be a difficult one. Limiting self-beliefs prevent so many men from doing more than they are currently doing. Their financial well-being is placed on the back burner due to fear, complacency, or simply feeling unworthy. Taking the leap of faith and showing courage is far too often neglected, and the results can be devastating.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by Dylan Bain. Dylan is a corporate CPA, a world-class financial coach, and the host of the Fiscally Savage Podcast.

Dylan shares his remarkable story of walking away from a teaching job where he was barely getting by, living on food stamps, to getting his MBA and becoming a corporate CPA for one of the big four accounting firms. He talks about how he was able to rise above his struggles and failures along the way simply because he was unwilling to lose sight of the vision that he had not only for his family but also for himself. This vision of having the big house with his kids playing in the yard and steaks on the grill got him through the darkest of times. Despite tough situations like his MBA program being (temporarily, thanks to him) canceled and multiple people telling him he was too old, he kept moving forward with remarkable determination and grit. You’ll hear Dylan share in incredible detail how that resiliency has made him an unstoppable force.

Dylan also discusses the battle that men face when it comes to their finances and how learning to understand your emotions with your finances can help direct your future. When you learn to understand yourself and address your relationship with money, you can begin to dictate the terms of your future.

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Follow Dylan

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

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Overcome – To defeat or succeed in controlling or dealing with something.

Far too often, men choose to not overcome their circumstances. Young boys raised in difficult situations become men who choose a life lacking purpose or meaning. However, there is the uncommon man who chooses to rise above the morass and live a life of meaning and purpose.

When a man chooses to overcome his past, the lessons learned are remarkable and inspiring. In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by their friend Corey Turner. Corey trains horses, is a fire captain, a one-time MMA fighter, and an all-around badass.

In this powerful, moving conversation, Corey discusses his remarkable journey from a kid who grew up in a broken home and ran with gangbangers in Las Vegas to an untamed man. He discusses the abyss he found himself in for many years, some of the choices that led him into the abyss, and how four months working on a fishing boat in Alaska allowed him to work on himself and transform his life.

Corey also talks about the concept of doing the things you have to do to do the things you want to do, and how that’s laid the foundation for him in building a remarkable life with his wife and kids in southern Utah. He also discusses how he’s recently almost died twice and the powerful lessons he learned through demonstrating incredible mental resiliency while suffering physically and how he not only has gotten back on his feet but thrived.

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Follow Corey

• Instagram
• Facebook

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Victory – Achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties

When a man is on the path to bettering himself, the results are life-changing. Whether it’s getting healthy, saving his marriage, or becoming successful in his business or career, he has successfully executed a plan to better his life.

This is no small task.

A driven man is so focused on bettering himself that he often doesn’t take the time to celebrate his victories. He is doing himself a disservice when he doesn’t. When you are on the path, taking a second to look around to see just how far you’ve come is not only richly validating, it’s necessary.

There are myriad reasons that a man doesn’t take a moment to celebrate victories. From your ego getting in the way to feeling dissatisfied with where you stand when you compare yourself to someone else’s impossible standard, you are subconsciously looking for reasons to discredit yourself. It is important to learn to give yourself credit where credit is due.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss the importance of celebrating victories. They illustrate ways in which they have learned to set aside the unfair comparisons to others that men find themselves mired in and share some strategies that have helped them learn to recognize how far they’ve come. They also discuss how this is not an excuse to become complacent or content.

Each victory along the way is simply a checkpoint on the path to excellence and untaming your masculinity.

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Root cause – The fundamental reason for the occurrence of a problem

As men, we are focused on improving our lives and our situations. Rarely does a day go by where a man doesn’t look at himself in the mirror and commit to being better. We all too often, however, struggle to get off the ground with many of our initiatives and goals. It’s simply because we choose not to address the root cause of many of our habits and tendencies. As a result, many well-intentioned men fail. Fitness journeys stop before they’ve started, business ventures never get off the ground, and marriages stagnate.

So many men fall short and even give up because they simply don’t do the deep work required to address the core issue. Rather than identify the why behind the struggle, men find themselves papering over these core issues and try to charge through a well-intentioned but shortsighted plan of improvement.

If you are overweight, the story is much more than simply eating too much or not exercising. Why do you eat too much? Start by simply asking yourself the question “why”. From there, continue to ask yourself “why”, and you can begin to unearth the real cause of your struggle. Once you unearth this root cause, you can begin to do the real work.

Real work takes time. It takes effort. However, by doing the real work, it will not only address the initial issue at hand but will begin to help you understand and address other long-dormant issues.

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss the concept of understanding the why and how they have learned to do the deep work required to change their lives. They both discuss some tactics they use, and how simply taking the time NOW to search within yourself to address issues at their foundation will set you up for incredible success.

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Complacency – A feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.

All too often, men find themselves stuck in a career they are not happy or fulfilled in.  Some of these men feel stuck.  Some of these men choose to be complacent.  Whether it’s a job where you aren’t able to spend enough time with your kids or one you don’t ethically agree with, men can easily feel stuck in a job.

Then there is the uncommon man who chooses to do something about it.  In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad are joined by their friend Nolan Connell, who recently transitioned out of law enforcement into an entirely different career servicing and selling Kubota equipment.

In this wide-ranging conversation, the guys discuss the decisions Nolan made to create a new life for himself and his family, simply by consciously choosing to be true to himself.  He discusses some of the struggles that many police departments are facing across the country and why the time was right for him to make a decision that was best for him and his family.

Nolan also discusses the power of surrounding yourself with the kind of men who will help inspire you and push you to be the best man possible, and how you can position yourself to do the same.

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Contact Nolan

• Instagram
• Facebook

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