On February 20th, I lost my mom, Betty O’Shaughnessy, to cancer. She fought hard but in the end, cancer won the battle.

I was encouraged to write while I was in Ontario with my family to support my mom during her final days, as a way to remain grounded. It was cathartic and despite writing being considered a distraction, it actually helped me to remain even more present and observant to all the tiny moments leading up to her death.

I needed time to process my Mom’s passing before publishing this novelette. Still, it was hard to get through as this piece captured moments that, when re-read, whisked me back to the event and the raw emotions shared with my family.

I won’t go on too much here as I want the story to speak for itself. Even though I thought I finished writing it, I feel as though I missed some important moments. One such moment was when my sister and I were going through old family photos, organizing them for the memorial service that took place only two days after her passing. This brought so much love and laughter into the space and I’m so grateful to have been able to share that with my family.

Though this is a sad account and a chapter of my life that will forever be forged into my heart, I wanted to share it with you. I have never experienced loss like this before and I wasn’t sure how I would cope. Luckily, I have a number of loving and supportive people in my life and a community of My Back 40 listeners to lean on. If I haven’t already thanked you for reaching out with your thoughts, know that every word I received bolstered my strength and enabled me to get through this.

Perhaps this is a little outside the box for My Back 40. For those of you who have been with me the last 5 years, you’ll know that part of this project is to not only share stories from amazing people, but to also share a little bit of my life too. Or maybe a lot. My hope is that by being vulnerable here, it will encourage others to do the same. Life is too short to not be our authentic selves.

Update: To maintain privacy, the doctor’s original name has been changed.

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