Will Ciara make it very far on Dancing with the Stars, or does her audience want this more than she does? Over on Viva La Bam, Tony Hawk joins the road trip to Mardi Gras, Don Vito slowly loses his mind over endless skate-park detours, a prank war turns the RVs into biohazards, and Ryan Dunn attempts to catch up on a tiny scooter.

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Jax and Brittany drama has Bravo fans playing lawyer again, but the real competition is happening on Viva La Bam. Bam puts Phil and Don Vito through the Fat Boy Olympics, complete with a hoagie race, blindfolded cake hunt, chicken-wing obstacle course, and the destruction of a beloved truck and china hutch.

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Will Kate and Rob's new book get a Netflix first look, like GTA VI? Who knows! Meanwhile, on Viva La Bam, Slayer comes to Castle Bam, Don Vito gets sent on a series of increasingly disastrous dates, and 19 minutes of MTV once again manages to contain more actual television than most modern Bravo shows.

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It’s back to Viva La Bam, a version of reality TV where 22 minutes gave you more than any recent Bravo show. Season two opens with Bam deciding the best response to annoying neighbors is buying a castle. There’s a unicorn mural, a red Hummer, and Don Vito getting bubble wrapped and driven around in freezing weather. It’s classic reality TV without the trauma dump.

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Reality stars need to be interesting enough that we keep watching.

Jazmine Henley-Brown drops by to talk The Valley, In the City, creator goals, stan culture, and why reality TV hits differently when you grow up alongside the cast.

Plus, what might actually be next for Vanderpump Rules.

• All things Jaz
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The best Bravo conversations are never just about who was right or wrong. Rob is joined by Leslie Ye for a conversation about The Valley, Danny and Nia’s image-control spiral, Kristen’s rough season, and the way Janet’s story has been discussed by the group. Then they get into Southern Hospitality, why Mia may be ready for a bigger stage, the ongoing appeal of Emmy and Will, and whether In The City has a future with Kenny, Lindsay, Danielle, and Amanda in the mix.

• Follow: Leslie on TikTok and Instagram
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Rob and Kate briefly step into — and then quickly out of — House of Stassi, where Stassi breaks the fourth wall, talks about the Kardashians, and reminds everyone that Stassi works best in moderation. Then it’s time for The Valley Season 3 finale, where Danny eats salami like a haunted theater kid, Luke continues making pregnancy sound like something Kristen did to him personally, and Brittany’s Halloween party becomes one last desperate attempt to make anything happen.

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There's time for one last swipe at the In The City reunion, Lindsay’s “mom card” defense, and why a workplace reality show about people who actually want the job might be more exciting than whatever Bravo keeps trying to do here. Then it’s back to The Valley, where Chili’s gets the hardest product placement since the magical tiki boat, Zack and Benji enter the baby timeline danger zone, Jesse and Michelle somehow become the healthiest people on the show, Kristen and Luke go to therapy just long enough for Luke to make pregnancy sound like something that happened to him, and Zack proves he’ll do anything for fame, including admit he made a mess in his pants at a public restaurant.

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Jax may not be on The Valley right now, but that has never stopped anyone from talking about him. We start with the TMZ Jax photos, Flanagan’s, and whether this is real, or just a very dumb way to get cameras picked back up. On The Valley, Jasmine gets a sweet wedding-dress moment, Kristen and Luke keep insisting things will get better without doing anything that would make things better, and Danny’s vasectomy somehow turns into a group conversation about Janet’s trauma that is so bleak even Tom Schwartz has to be the voice of reason. Then on the In The City finale, Lindsay gets caught in her own “mom card” argument, Whitney accidentally cries her way into a win, Kenny finally explains to Gavin that all of his little jokes have been annoying all season, and Kyle and Amanda get one last strange VH1 “Where Are They Now?” ending about West, Loverboy, and a breakup that still refuses to give us the actual conversation.

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Pre-order: Reality TV Is The Devil (And Don't You Forget It), the Vanderpump Rules book written by Rob Schulte and Kate Shapiro!

On The Valley, Danny’s birthday becomes a full PSA episode about drinking, accountability, and why Nia and Kristen are suddenly doing defense work for the worst possible client. Then on In The City, the crew heads to Connecticut for a rainy Fall House Friendsgiving, Lindsay uses single motherhood for the primary bedroom, Kyle explains what too much Metamucil did to his body, and Amanda learns about Kyle’s DJ future at the same time as everyone else.

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