Remember when we all wished for a well rounded main character who wasn't physical perfection? Just to get a little variety? Well, we shouldns't have done that. April Taylor! She's only one note and that note is FAT seasoned with gay panic. Hey, it was the early aughts. Everyone was thinking about being gay and had nose-or-bellybutton rings. So, this was wild/dumb and we are dumber for having read it. But it sure was foolishly fun to scream about. PS: please submit your thought on the Destiny Question.

Ya'll need to get your peepers on this mess so you can fully appreciate the lack of aging effects on DON, Jim-Jam, and Whillip. It truly is atrocious. Plus, you have young (old?) Shristie acting like a brick wall. Supporting characters include Wish.com Neve Campbell, Harley Windham, Hamster Dance, and Warren!

WHEW! This was a hard birthins, but we have finally delivered this babby! If you missed our Instagram live, here is what it sounded like, minus some chewing and rustling. Get some snacks and join the slumber party as we watch the next movie installment: "Twilight's Child"!

It's time to journey to the (incorrect) year of 1973! What's her name? Oh yeah, Dawn! Well, she still sing so good and here she meets a new kid/old man, Jimmy is definitely going to get sent to Vietnam, Trisha is still the best, and we get served the incandescent SAG-AFTRA president Fran Drescher as the perfectly cast Agnes Morris!

Whelp, we finally done did it. We watched the Lifetime made for TV movie of "Dawn" and it was fine? I guess? It certainly WAS a movie on the Lifetime network that was adapted from the book by VC Andrews/Andrew Neiderman. Fans of bad acting, bad wigs, and ATROCIOUS lip syncing should love this one. Us? Eh? I suppose? Maybe more of an "I like you, but I don't LIKE you, like you" vibe.

I don't know about you, but I am PUMPED to find out what happened to all the players from the last two books! What was their legacy? What drove them to do what they done did? How to alllllll these folks reconcile their actions from the prior stories? If you want to know as well, then BUCKLE UP because you definitely wont! Instead, we get a story that is so far removed from the build up of the last two, it's like a baby bird is trapped in your secret put away heart and the garden the storyline planted withers and dies.

Hoo-wee y'all, Celeste is BACK and with her return is a second bonus Celeste! Lil Babby Celeste so perfect, Mama/Mommy so scheming, OG Celeste so confused, Fletcher fam so used, Panther so exists, spirits so omnivorous, accordion so played, forehead so yellow, infant Jordan so gets a backstory, book editing so wild.

Welcome to spoopy season y'all! Grab your herbs and spirits because it's time to meet Celeste! She's for sure the worst twin and mommy apparently hates her? This book features the scariest thing of all - endless gaslighting about you very essence of self! If you want a serving of gothic isolation with a side of witchy mommy and a sprinkle of amulets, this episode is for you.

"Midnight Flight" is kind of like like one of those late 90's daytime talk shows (*cough* MAURY *cough*) where they take disobedient teens and ship them off to some scared straight abuse factory. Matter of fact, it's EXACTLY like one of those episodes. Buckle up ya'll, you will never guess what happens next! Spoiler alert: we get silly.

It's like if Niederman liked the idea of "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" and worked it into one of his Team Bad Girl bookers. Hm. Anywhatever, Phoebe is the last gal who do be a bad gal (but not really spoiler alert?). There are coal black eyes and jazz joint references so, like, there's THAT to digest. Also, let us wonder about the disparity in the severity of her "crimes" vs those other two. Think about it.