She's Tealin' up your heart with what she do. Cause she don't give a fart, oh yes it's true. And no matter what her punishments, she feels no shame. With or without a gnu. Ok, there isn't a gnu in this one, I ran outta rhymes. TEAL! She rich, she whine, she got no thinkins, and she mentions a mélange. Enjoy!

It's time to crack into "Broken Wings", book one of the next two-booker! This episode brings us the story of Robin Taylor, bad girl number one who loves cigarettes and hates country music, Too bad her mother darling (gag) wants to be a country singing star! Wacky hijinks ensue, there may or may not be a Row Berry, and we get a Modern Vaginal Product!

Well, friends, it's time for us to dine on the skin and the entrails of the De Beeries. We talk about the "special" "ebook" super extra prequel "Dark Seed". It only takes about 17 minutes until we lapse into extended silent shoulder shrugging and googling about VIcky Andy and Andrew Neitherman. Don't worry though, we preview the next 87 years of episodes at the end!

We're back from break and it's time for an Adult Male Protagonist! Lemme tell you, the disappointment is palpable. Claude's redemptive tale really veers sideways into a man listening to his dick and not his patient/lover. I'm not sure if we expected more from him, but we really shouldn't have.

Fans of rage math and colossally incorrect timelines rejoice! THIS is the episode for you! It's time Grace gets the ol' prequel treatment and holy hecking honk is it upsetting. Not because of Kirby Scott's creep factor, not because of Jackie Lee's descent into Palm Beach society, not even because almost half the book takes place before they even get to Joya del Mar. If you really need to know the most upsetting part, pour yourself a cocktail, put your feet up, and try to keep your blood pressure from rocketing off the charts!

What do you get when you mix up a Palm Beach teen, a preemie babby, stuck up twin half brothers, a road trip, Linens N Things, a peach farm side jorney, and a wrong side of the tracks guitar boy? You get a shenanigan wrapped in a shenanigan with a side of shenanigry! AKA the next book in the De Beeries. Hold on to your cellular telephone, we're going nowhere slowly!

Whooms't? Willow De Beers, back and ready to get her family togetherness on. Whats't? the second dry novel in the De Beeries. Wherems't? Joya Del Mar, obvi. Whens't? A time of FAX LINES and one mention of the internet. Whyms't? Great question Dear Listener. Because sometimes there are 87 plot lines and we're goings't full speed toward Margaret Selby's sex advice!

It's time for us to delve into the newest De Beeries! Introducing Willow, the driest protagonist there ever was. Join her in the familiar territory of a shit mom, a parental discovery jorney (spoiler alert), a loving love affair of love, a lingering secret sibling (spoiler alert), and an all new but still Southern setting! Special guest appearance by a passing reference to 9/11!

Ah, the Stenetsky school for pReFoRmInG aRtS. A prestigious establishment that only 6 (12?) students get into! Our pure of corn Honey narrates this tale of dedication, mystery, fire escape shenanigans, blue clit, bad daddies, and being carried on the wings of talent till the cacophony of applause awakens you!

And lo, through the corm, she approaches. The last of the lovely latte ladies. Sweet Honey chile. She do a violin, she have a religious relative, she go to mall. Honey shows us alllllll the thrills of the Ohio corn farm and Dear Reader gets to wonder about that step uncle. And also, how DARE WE think that way of step uncle???