The Mad Mauler faces off against Beef Barlow in the first-ever, custom-made Beefcase Match! That's right, a briefcase piñata filled with uncooked ground beef AND the International League of Wrestling championship belt is suspended above the ring... and only accessible by ladder!

Calling all class clowns!  Get the only calculator where all the sums equal rip-rocking' number spellings—you don't even have to flip the calculator upside down! 

Yuri Glashkoff tells you about his all-new cab service and why you should make call now!

You can betcha ass that salt-of-the-scorched-earth Donathan Daylor Dhomas is a depressed divorcee drinkin' watered-down cleaning solution to help him fast forward through memories of Joyce D'Acupuncturist's Revenge Tour! 

Steven and Tom have a hard time keeping their personal feelings about each other out of the newscast! 

Injured through no fault of your own by vindictive little leaguers repeatedly swinging baseball bats to your genitalia? Call the Closer—Jerry Barry—the small dick lawyer with big dick settlements! 

Jim and Greg are talking cats. They say things cats might say. Also they see ghosts. 

Don't be a spinach dip and fall for Big Cartoon Syndicate's lies—like Critical Spinach Theory—which perpetuate the farce that spinach gives you an immediate boost of superhuman strength and speed! 

Detective John Rafferty lost his family in a violent lightning attack. Others called it a freak accident. He called it murder! 

Introducing "Album of Your Life," a brand nü product from 23 & We—the leader in DNA and ancestry services!