Video Death Loop

Dunkaroos loom large in our collective unconscious. Sydney or Duncan or whoever was your Dunkaroos mascot, villain of a thousand faces, almost certainly lurks in some forgotten corner of your brain. His domain is somewhere between barely suppressed animal instincts and memories obliterated by alcoholic whipped cream. He waits, cookie held at ready, waiting on his chance to dip it into the frosting of your mind.

This week we watched an early Dunkaroos commercial from 1993! A kid shaved his head for this video! Please enjoy it.

Aaron Littleton hosts and forgets a name. John Hurst co-hosts and deploys a specially trained unit.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/VDL200207.mp3

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Dr. Light slams hatch on his 200X Pontiac Aztek, the back seat folded down and full of plastic pet carriers. Stifling a chuckle, the bearded scientist pats the back window.

“Y’know, Dr. Light, some of us were wondering,” the young shelter worker rubs the fronts of his pants nervously, “well, we were wondering…uh…what you do with the dogs?”

Dr. Light’s head turns almost imperceptive toward the young man, smile still in place but all of the mirth gone. The shelter volunteer takes an involuntary half-step back.

“What was that?” The doctor whispers.

“N-nothing sir!” The young man is frozen in fear.

“That’s what I thought,” Doctor Light says, gently patting his shirt pocket, a worn remote control that reads “Mega Man” poking out of the top. “What I thought indeed.”

This week we watched a French Mega Man 2 commercial! It’s pretty weird you guys!

John Hurst hosts and protects his fish. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and is blinded by AR.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/VDL200131.mp3

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It’s time for season 4 of Video Death Loop, and we’re starting off with…something. Something really real. Something by David Lynch, though we’re not entirely sure what. Sure, it’s a PlayStation 2 commercial, but what if it was also not that? Or even more harrowingly, what if it is that? What if that’s all this is? What if that’s all you are?

We watched David Lynch’s PlayStation 2 commercial The Third Place on loop this week. Give it a thumbs up!

Aaron Littleton is your host and paints a wall. John Hurst co-hosts and makes a serious decision.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/VDL200124.mp3

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Fuck Donald Trump fuck Trumpy bear fuck the person that invented Trumpy Bear Fuck that aloe plant in the fake office in the Trumpy Bear commercial

Listen you know, I have feelings about this

Anyway, John Hurst struck back with the Trumpy Bear commercial which I cannot believe is real but seemingly is.

John Hurst hosts and brings this season in for a wrap. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and weighs his ham.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/VDL191221.mp3

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A scream. A scream in the darkness. Your eyes dilate, searching the horizon. You stumble forward, rough bark from a tree you couldn’t see ripping your arm. You’re in the woods? The scream continues. Who is that? Warm blood trickles down your arm, pumping much faster from the wound than you would expect. What is happening? Who is screaming?

This week we watched the LeetStreet Boys “She’s So Kawaii” music video. Sure we did. Also John made a video but we didn’t watch that.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/VDL191213.mp3

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The Heinz lawyer stares at you through steepled fingers. His suit is a deep, deep red. His face is indistinguishable and you’ve already forgotten his name. He sits, expectantly but in no hurry. Your eyes drift to the contract on the desk between you. Level 1. You expected as much, but it’s still a disappointment. What choice is there really? You don’t want to end up like Big Marinara.

This week we watched a 1997 commercial for McDonald’s Kiwi Burger. Like from New Zealand!

John Hurst hosts and is disgusted. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and disgusts.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/VDL191206.mp3

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We should never think about Blank Check again, but, I guess, we can’t not. It’s a really strange movie. It’s just…wild. Just wild. See, there’s this part…and then there’s that other part. And oh boy don’t get me started on that last part. Sheesh. What a…what a thing.

If you can’t tell, this week we watched the Blank Check trailer on loop until we couldn’t take it anymore. Woof.

Aaron Littleton hosts and exercises adverse possession. John Hurst co-hosts and maybe read some things at some point.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/VDL191129.mp3

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Let’s all acknowledge that at some point, every idea gets Hot Lixxed. No matter how shocking, how disruptive, how abhorrent to the societal norms of the time, Hot Lixx is the ultimate destination for all human creative capital. Given enough time, and probably less than you think, someone will find a way to sand the rough edges off of any idea, encapsulate it in plastic, fill that shell with cheap Chinese microchips and sell it back to you. You’ll buy it and give it to your kids, because you spend too much time at work. Just  don’t Bing it in front of them.

This week we watched a commercial for a toy guitar called Hot Lixx. We resented it greatly.

John Hurst hosts and gets a Hot Keyz. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and builds a theoretical computer.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/VDL191122.mp3

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http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/VDL191115.mp3

The internet is a strange place. If the Super Mario Brothers movie came out now, we would have likely never seen that version in the wild. We would, rightfully, decreed how incorrect and bad that movie was. A stain on something so familiar and loved by many! But the movie is a treasure in its own right; a monument to Hollywood’s hubris over all other “insignificant” mediums and a team of set designers having one hell of a Hot Girl Summer. It is not really a Mario movie, but it’s wild and weird and represents a decade steeped in its kitsch pop culture that can only be imitated these days. It’s the type of train wreck that happens to make an art installation in the process. The original artist has hung their head in shame and fled the scene, but we are still here to appreciate it in its unchanging manner. Wondering. Contemplating. Media consuming.

We have lost the path from our original horror, but one can only wish we could peek behind the curtain and be horrified anew. We can not know the timelines we have been swayed from. We can only imagine what that previous, wretched Sonic model is doing. We know it exists. We know its waiting. Biding. Also media consuming

It will have its time to shine again. And he will choose when.

Aaron hosts this week and boy is he hungry for some thighs. John co-hosts this week and wants to see Sonic put in all the classics. ALL OF THEM.

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After suffering through last week’s Israeli coffee machine cleaning video, John decides to strike back in the best way he knows how – 80s hair metal. RATT busts up a dinner party, but is that meal podcast safe?

This week we watched the RATT “Round and Round” music video, which was probably directed by Peter Jackson.

John Hurst hosts and enters a promo code. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and rips some string cheese.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/VDL191108.mp3

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