Today, Ed and Kaylin Dillon of Kaylin Dillon Financial dive into the rules and dynamics of prenuptials. Kaylin works primarily with people who are married and have existing prenuptials, but also frequently discusses the front end of them. She shares the personal and logistical elements that drew her to the field.

Oftentimes, prenuptial agreements are more complex than they might seem. Kaylin shares an experience she had with a partner who asked for one, and how, despite both parties being willing in the process, it was difficult to get through. The process jumpstarted her transition from financial innocence into financial maturity. When it comes to prenuptial agreements, Kaylin explains, most people have no existing knowledge of how to navigate them.

Context, Ed argues, is often missing from conversations around money with kids, who often hear about the bad in bits and pieces. Kaylin clarifies that with prenuptials, the missing context is often that laws are ambiguous around where money goes after divorce, and many people have only a vague idea of its financial implications.

When Kaylin and Ed first met, Ed was anti-prenuptial, claiming they created an unhealthy power dynamic, a common belief for therapists—a position he still holds in some ways, but has softened on. Ed shares his own experiences with prenuptials, and how, when he was asked, he felt it suggested that the relationship wouldn’t succeed. Kaylin adds, in a way that offers safety for both parties. These conversations should generate financial intimacy, not degrade it. When decisions feel high stakes, its within human nature for our brains to constrict. It’s important to consider joint future visions before prenuptial agreements. There’s no one way to budget and plan, as every couple has a different ideal scenario.

The ambiguity of the law allows for creativity within agreements, so it’s important to ensure both parties are properly educated in the process of prenuptials. Kaylin discusses the importance of transparency in having these conversations, and how maintaining honesty and avoiding secrets is best practice when approaching financials with a partner.

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