Annaliese and Alan talk about how to help yourself when you're finding yourself stuck in perfectionism again. Perfectionism can make you feel like you're being excellent, thorough, or dependable, and like if you don't do something perfectly then you're not doing things the "right" way. But if we don't notice this bait-and-switch, it ends up draining our energy. Learn how to catch more quickly when you're in this mode so you can help yourself swap out perfectionism in the moment for authentically doing your best in your life.

What You'll Hear About

Practices:

Help Yourself Spot Perfectionism:

Simple Ways To Let Go Of Perfectionism:

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Annaliese and Alan talk about how to help yourself when you get stuck in overthinking again. Overthinking is a pattern we can slip into when we might feel insecure, uncertain, out of control, or stressed and we're trying to "fix" something. Scrambling or withdrawing up into our heads to try to figure out life instead of living it out doesn't get us the security, protection, success, or resolution that we're trying to get! Here's how to step out of overthinking and into engaging with your life in ways that actually get you better results.

What You'll Hear About:

What Do I Do When I'm Overthinking Again?

Overwhelm is made up of a combo of overthinking and underacting — so how can you take action on one or two of the thoughts that have piled up or are repeating in your head?

Your Free Coaching Call: Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share the change you're hoping to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips using what you already have to make them happen.

Annaliese and Alan talk about becoming more aware of the stories playing in your head—the beliefs and thought patterns that are shaping and informing your emotions, expectations, relationships, and choices. Does it ever seem like the ways you think about yoruself and your life are automatically driving how you feel and what you do? Maybe you often find yourself thinking, “I’m the responsible one,” “Bad things always happen to me,” “I don’t need anyone,” or “Work has to be hard.” Listen in today to learn what you can do to begin to change the story and open the door to a better feeling life.

The goal isn't to create a perfect new story overnight. It's to become more aware, compassionate, and intentional so you can begin choosing thoughts and actions that better support the human you are and the life you truly value.

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What does it really mean to take full ownership of your life? Annaliese and Alan share how it's not by having all the answers, forcing the "right" outcomes, or avoiding all uncertainty and chaos. Real control actually grows when you pay closer attention to how things are genuinely going inside you and around you, and posture yourself to remember you're the one capable and in charge of handling the choices, attitudes, and thoughts that are actually yours in the moment.

Why We Lose Our Sense of Agency

What True Ownership Looks Like

Practices to Try

Annaliese and Alan dig into what it really looks like to handle your emotional reactions live — in real time, not just after the fact. If you've ever felt regret or guilt over how you reacted, maybe even disappointed in yourself for not acting like the person you want to be, this episode is for you. The surprising thing is, you don't have to "fix" your feelings first in order to handle them better.

We take blame too far, too fast, when we're in a reactive moment — but there are ways to handle it that honor who we truly are. You can't force power, safety, or control back into a moment, but you can reclaim a little more of it by practicing pausing before you act. Start this transformational experiment for yourself with these three tools:

THE MAGIC QUESTION:

Book your own free 1-hour Discovery Chat: www.linktree.com/coachannaliese - Share what you're hoping to make change in and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to use what you already have to make progress!

Annaliese and Alan talk about a simple but powerful truth: real change doesn't start with a plan — it starts with noticing. Before you can set a goal, break a habit, or shift a relationship pattern, you need honest awareness of where you actually are, what you're feeling, and what you're working with right now. Listen in to explore how practicing your own skill of noticing — and continuing to practice it throughout your journey — helps you stay connected to your real discernment and choices as you make changes. By using your own muscile of noticing, you'll build awareness to help your way be smoother and more aligned, and help yourself feel more confident and effective as you meet your goal.

* Ready to apply this in your own life? Schedule your own free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at linktree.com/coachannaliese to begin to tackle your changes or create a goal plan that actually has a chance to work for you.

Annaliese and Alan unpack how personality differences and unmet needs impact the way couples connect — and why showing up as your true self is one of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage. If you've ever felt tempted to shrink, guess, or assume the worst about your partner's intentions, this conversation offers a grounded and more deeply connected way forward.

You'll Hear About:

Your Free Coaching Call:

Practice This Week:

Annaliese and Alan talk about what shifts when you stop fighting or just drifting through the moment and start opening up to it. Life has a way of showing you insights in whatever the moment holds, and sometimes when you least expect it. But to really connect with those insights takes a new practice of being open and listening deeper to what you’re experiencing right now, in and around you. Learn to let your life get your attention and support you in surprising ways, whatever you’re going through.

What You'll Hear About:

The "Life Just Happens to Me" Trap When you're caught in a reactive mindset, you pour all your energy into controlling what you can't control — and it leaves you anxious and exhausted. Learning to open back up to your present-moment experience helps you recognize what you actually have in your hands right now. The moment has something to show you, and it's worth paying attention.

Finding Clarity Through Awareness You gain real direction for your life when you stay curious about your moment-to-moment experience. Notice what makes you feel intimidated or embarrassed, where you need support, and what brings you deep meaning and joy. Life plays out in moments — and staying open to them helps you feel more fully like yourself.

Practices to Try:

Reality-Based Meditation — This is where you try to just let your present moment happen and unfold. Let it show you whatever it's bringing with it. Sometimes it's frustrating or scary to look at, or hard to slow down enough to listen to, but letting yourself open up to listen and see and hold what the moment is giving you will help you feel steadier and more connected with your life.

Let the Wave Come to You — "What we resist persists." When you're in the ocean and a wave is coming your way, you instinctively want to back out and swim away, or maybe you try to stand your ground and fight it till it's over. If you fight it or avoid it, you find it will just crash and crush and pressure you harder, getting chaotic and probably end up dragging you with it. Wisdom tells you you can try a new way — letting yourself stay and face it, finding a calmness or willingness in you to go toward it and move with it, instead of against it.

The Serenity Prayer —

Annaliese and Alan talk about what it feels (and what it takes!) to approach the midlife experience. Midlife confronts us with the quality of the life we’ve been living and pursuing. You’ll hear about the stereotypes that can feel real, but there are bigger invitations and growth that hide underneath the changes that midlife brings with it.

Resources:

  Question 2: If your inner world (emotions, beliefs, spirituality, identity, etc.) had to lead you right now — without the external structures of routines, relationships, or accomplishments that usually hold you up — what would you discover about what's genuinely solid for you versus what's been just masks or defenses or performance to meet expectations you don’t truly value?

  Question 3: What's one thing your midlife experience seems to keep nudging you to accept about yourself that you've been quietly dismissing as "not really me" — and what might it mean that it keeps showing up anyway?

  Question 5: If you were to treat this season of change as a curriculum designed specifically for you, what would the recurring themes suggest you most benefit from learning or finally facing and addressing or accepting?

  Question 6: Where in your life right now are you spending the most energy trying to control or resist what's already shifting — and what might it feel like to get genuinely curious and more open-handed to engage with that change instead of fighting it?

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to look for surprising evidence that you're making progress when you're on the long road of growth. Staying encouraged on the road to your goals isn't always easy — especially when progress feels slow, repetitive, or just plain invisible. Listen in to learn how to recognize your real progress, even when it doesn't look or feel the way you'd expect.

You'll Hear About:

Reframing what growth actually looks like — Personal growth and lasting change take time and consistent effort. The inputs you're putting into your journey matter just as much as the outcomes, and learning to count those choices is a game-changer for staying motivated.

Expanding what counts as evidence of progress — Your brain is wired to look for external results and feel-good wins. But real momentum toward a new goal often shows up in the mundane and repetitive — and learning to collect that kind of positive evidence will take you further than waiting for the big breakthrough.

Using your starting point as a tool — Reminding yourself where you came from is one of the most practical things you can do. You were already repeating patterns before — they just weren't getting you anywhere. Now your small, consistent steps are actually building something.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Ready to make real changes? Schedule your FREE one-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese — share your story and walk away with tools you can actually use.

Feeling uncomfortable, messy, or sometimes risky When you change things you'd normally do, it will be uncomfortable. Use that discomfort as information — notice when these feelings show up alongside the new, challenging steps you're taking toward your goal. That's not a red flag; that's a signal.

Repeating the same steps over and over without seeing much impact The willingness to take small steps, again and again, is what eventually gets you there. It's hard to remember in the middle of it, but that repetition is quietly building resilience, dedication, and discipline — possibly things you didn't know you had until now. Count that hard-won progress and name what you're gaining by staying the course.

Only being able to focus on one thing at a time This one can be tough, especially if you pride yourself on multitasking. But growth work requires focused, quality energy directed toward one challenge or step at a time. Committing to one thing actually increases your capacity and makes your effort stronger and more effective.

Having less energy This can be a sign that you're spending energy in ways you're not used to — on the emotional weight of the journey, on keeping your attention where you consciously choose, on the repetition of small steps. Less energy can actually show you your dedication level and remind you that you're moving, even when it doesn't feel that way. And you can do a lot more with a little energy than you might think.