Annaliese and Alan talk about how your hidden triggers quietly shape your emotional reactions, relationships, and everyday life. So often, reactive stories start playing in your mind (thoughts) and body (feelings) before you even realize it. When you learn to notice that inner narrative in the moment, you gain powerful self-awareness, giving you the ability to decide whether that story gets to lead you or whether you want to choose a different response.

Why building self-awareness around the stories in your head is essential for personal growth, emotional maturity, and mindset change. When you understand why you’re showing up the way you are, you can actually measure growth and make intentional shifts.

How to recognize the subtle cues of your hidden triggers. Are you assuming someone’s tone means something negative? Jumping to conclusions about their intentions? Feeling irritation rise quickly? These trigger stories color your perception and are shaping your experience in real time.

Why triggers often feel like they come “out of nowhere.” Your brain is wired to make quick meaning and try to protect you. But without awareness, you can end up replaying the same negative patterns in your relationships, communication habits, and the ways you experience daily stress.

Ready to go deeper in your own self-development journey? Schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese. Share your situation and receive helpful coaching tools to create some real, lasting change.

Listen to learn more about changing the story in your head:

Annaliese and Alan talk about what makes communication both effective and deeply connecting in close relationships. They reflect on how many adults eventually notice communication blind spots in themselves because different communication styles were modeled in their families growing up. This conversation explores how emotional maturity and intentional practice help us build healthier, more connected relationship patterns over time.

You’ll Hear About:

Why relationships aren’t strengthened by clear or frequent communication alone, but by learning to balance speaking the truth accurately while also speaking with love, kindness, and respect. Real connection grows when honesty and care are held together.

How contributing more to an important relationship often means being willing to say things in messy or clunky ways at first. Practicing new communication patterns—whether becoming clearer and more assertive or softer and more compassionate—takes experimentation, humility, and courage, but builds intimacy, trust, and deeper connection.

How practicing “speaking the truth in love” helps repair imbalanced or disconnected relationship dynamics while also helping you grow personally. Learning to be both direct and loving gives the other person what they need while helping you become a healthier communicator.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Want support improving your communication, deepen your relationships, and improve your own emotional experience? Schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to see how coaching with her helps you get practical next steps toward the meaningful change you want.

PRACTICE KIND, TRUTHFUL COMMUNICATION:

Ask yourself:

Where do I fall on the scale between Speaking The Truth and Speaking With Love?

Which comes more naturally? Which feels harder?

Notice your honest reaction and see why the harder skill is your growth invitation. Aim for small, daily improvement: “I’ll try to say this truth 2% more clearly,” or “I’ll try to say this truth 2% more lovingly.”

Check your tone and posture—inside and out—before conversations.

Am I walking in trying to make them see my point?

Am I open and receptive, or trying to avoid discomfort or quickly drop my point and leave?

Annaliese and Alan talk about how fixating on outcomes in life can quietly consume your limited energy in the present moment. Annaliese shares how our deeper invitation is to notice how we actually feel in and about our lives right now—and to intentionally prioritize spending our primary resources (time, money, attention, and energy) on what we can realistically influence today. When we shift our focus to what’s within our control in the present, we regain steadiness, clarity, and a greater sense of peace.

You’ll Hear About:

Spending too much time picturing, preparing, and planning for the future? Planning can be healthy and helpful—when it’s grounded in the reality of the present. When it’s not, it drains your energy, increases anxiety, and leaves you feeling defeated or incapable. Learning to let go of what you can’t control and re-anchor your focus in what you can helps restore joy, motivation, confidence, and emotional stability.

How to notice where your focus lives most often (past, present, or future) and what it’s costing you. The present moment is where your power actually exists. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, actions, and how you navigate your feelings—and that work can only happen now.

When focusing on a future outcome—even a meaningful one—causes you to abandon the present. Living as if peace, rest, or fulfillment can only come after an outcome steals the very resources you need to grow, thrive, and move forward today.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Experience how coaching can help you gain results you want in your life! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese. Share where you're at and what you're working on, and gain practical, supportive guidance for creating real change.

Practices:

STEPS TO LET GO OF FIXATING ON THE OUTCOME:

Notice where your focus is and what it’s costing you.

Practice accepting what’s in your control—and what’s not.

Slow down once a week for a Values and Balance Check-In.

Annaliese and Alan talk about perfectionism in practical ways that actually help you in the moment. Annaliese explores how perfectionism often disguises itself as the “right way” to be, think, or live—when in reality, it slowly disconnects you from your authenticity, agency, and inner clarity. You’ll uncover how perfectionism undermines personal growth by demanding control over things you can’t control in order to succeed. Instead of helping you reach your goals, it quietly works against your true desires. Listen for how to plug back into your aligned values and support your emotional well-being on the way to your goals.

You’ll Hear About How:

Perfectionism can feel compelling, like it’s the only acceptable way to pursue growth or success. But notice how it makes you feel—pressured, defeated, or trapped without choices. These feelings are often signals that you’re disconnected from your true desires and natural capability.

Perfectionism feeds you impossible rules about life and about yourself: you can’t change your mind, you must know the right way ahead of time, you have to get it right the first time, and failure isn’t allowed. These standards don’t create effectiveness, confidence, or peace.

Perfectionism is a form of self-protection and self-reliance that doesn’t actually provide motivating safety, trust, or strength. Seeking control distracts you from what’s more powerful—your built-in courage to live authentically without certainty.

Your Free Coaching Call:

TIPS FOR NAVIGATING PERFECTIONISM:

Reflect on what you truly want and specify your aim and goal

Notice if you’re criticizing, undermining, or defeating yourself

Handle your disappointments with empowerment, not punishment

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the most overlooked foundations of real personal growth: learning to love yourself. This episode reframes self-compassion as more than a concept that sounds good or feels good—it’s meant to become a brand new foundation of love for yourself that effectively fuels any change you hope to make. Instead of growing from a basis of self-criticism or judgment, this conversation invites you to see yourself from a new angle, soften the lens you use on yourself, and shift your focus toward how you treat yourself day to day.

You’ll Hear About:

How real self-compassion means learning to see yourself through a lens of love instead of criticism or judgment. Where you usually approach change from a pain point or a judgmental stance, notice there is another way: “God doesn’t change us in order to love us. He loves us into change.”

Seeing and identifying your own walls that come up against practicing self-compassion. Treating yourself from a starting point of kindness and love, even before you’ve made changes, might feel uncomfortable, but will be infinitely more effective.

The reasons that harsh, rigid, judgmental ways of motivating yourself can work temporarily for outcomes, but end up undermining your quality of life. And why accepting that you matter and deserve to be loved in your life is the building block for genuine change and transformation.

Tips to Practice Love That Fuels Your Growth

Hang out with yourself more in your day. Think about your day like, “I’m with myself today.” Check in more often: Did I hang out with myself, or did I leave myself behind? Did I show up only to correct myself?

Treat yourself like you’re a person who matters too. If other people are supposed to matter to you, remember—you are an “other person” to them as well, so it makes sense to practice seeing yourself as lovable, valuable, and significant!

Actually practice your relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Factor yourself into your choices. Ask: What’s my thought life like right now? How am I feeling? What am I doing and why? Pick one small way to act like you matter today. Treat yourself like you’re worth showing up for. Practice and repeat your relationship with yourself daily.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Want more on self-compassion? Listen to Wake Your Dream episode 47.

Annaliese and Alan dig into how the way you see yourself shapes the way you think, speak, and act. When you’re trying to grow, your inner picture matters. Annaliese shares a simple mindset tool called “Update Yourself,” a practice that helps you picture yourself as more capable, grounded, and empowered so real change feels possible—not overwhelming.

You’ll Hear About:

How your brain can learn a new, more confident picture of who you are and what you can do. You’re not locked into old patterns—you truly can do new things.

Why owning your choices matters. Are you supporting your growth or slipping back into old standards like perfectionism or settling? Choose a standard that actually helps you move forward.

How your body responds differently to Updated Stories versus Outdated Stories. When you celebrate who you’re becoming, you feel your growth, and that creates natural motivation fuel for more of it, inside and out.

How Updating Yourself strengthens your relationship with you. It’s a bridge from doubt to desire. Simple “updated” thoughts—like “I’m the person who gets to make change happen”—open doors that old thoughts keep shut.

How to stop assuming the worst about uncertain outcomes and start expecting what you hope to find.

Resources:

Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share what ideas and changes you want to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to make them happen!

Your Resources: time, money, attention, energy.

Tell Yourself UPDATED Stories, Not Outdated Ones:

Ask yourself: How am I different today than I have been before? What do I care about now that I didn’t before?

Notice what you’re improving on or what matters to you now. Tell yourself about the updated person you’re becoming—statements like “I’m more organized now” or “I know how to organize better.”

Remember the real goal is becoming your true self, not chasing a perfect outcome. What do you want instead of what you’ve been getting? What changes would support that?

Focus on the change you want to make. Choose a thought about yourself that helps you feel capable, satisfied, and ready to take that step.

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to make healthy, effective boundaries that actually support real life and real relationships. Instead of boundaries being a last-minute reaction to discomfort or conflict, they explore how boundaries work best when they’re intentional, value-based, and planned all the way through. Annaliese share the 3 Prongs of Building a Boundary—choose it, set it, enforce it. Learn why you need all three if you want your boundary to work for you instead of creating more tension, guilt, or frustration. Listen today to hear how creating a plan for each prong helps you stay grounded, clear, and steady while setting your boundary, no matter how others respond.

You’ll Hear About:

Why boundaries are at their best when they support your deeper values and help build a bridge that makes relationship possible—not a wall that cuts people off

How to choose a boundary by first noticing your discomfort, clarifying what you want the boundary to protect or support, and getting clear on your “why” before deciding how to communicate it

How clarifying your deeper “want,” especially in relationships, helps you understand why certain interactions feel threatening or draining, and what goal you truly want to shoot for in the relationship

Why disappointment often happens when you forget to make a plan to enforce a boundary—and why follow-through matters

Your Free Coaching Call:

Schedule your free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese to get personalized support with boundaries, communication, and self-leadership: www.linktree.com/coachannaliese

Practice:

BUILDING A BOUNDARY:

Prong 1: Choose It

Prong 2: Set It

Prong 3: Enforce It

Annaliese and Alan dive into why adversity isn’t just something to survive—it’s something that grows you. They unpack how struggle, resistance, and discomfort can actually be some of life’s most powerful teachers when you learn how to work with them instead of against them. Annaliese shares an example story from the 1990's Biosphere 2 project, where scientists discovered that trees grown in perfect, protected conditions collapsed when they reached full height. They discovered that without real wind or resistance, the trees couldn’t develop the strength or flexibility needed to stand mature, strong, and steady. The same is true for us—without the push and pull of life’s challenges, we’d miss out on the maturity, adaptability, and groundedness we need to truly thrive.

You’ll Hear About:

How adversity, though uncomfortable, invites innovation, growth, and deeper strength inside you that you wouldn’t find otherwise. It’s not the absence of struggle that leads to a good life—it’s learning to let difficulty shape you in meaningful ways.

How practicing discernment while in hard seasons helps you respond with intention instead of reactivity. You’ll hear practical ways to notice your own part in the stressful moments—where your thoughts or behaviors might be making it harder on you—and how to shift that.

Ways to open your perspective and see adversity as evidence of your worth and capability. You’ll learn to gather proof that you matter, even while things feel messy, and to reconnect with your deep truth, ideas, and values right in the middle of it all.

Practice: Letting Adversity Work For You

Picture your inner and outer posture toward what’s hard right now. Are you resisting, closing off, or withdrawing?

Take a moment and ask yourself: Am I letting this adversity show me where I can grow, or am I fighting against it?

Identify 1–2 ways to engage the challenge with openness—whether it’s applying something you’ve learned, trying a new approach, or remembering who you truly are underneath the struggle.

Annaliese and Alan talk about a particular way we experience growth: it can take us further. Annaliese shares how to recognize when your personal growth efforts might actually be keeping you stuck in your head rather than helping you feel the change you’re aiming for. This episode invites you to notice where you might be sitting in challenges instead of moving through them—and how to shift from preparing to practicing growth in real life.

You’ll Hear About:

How overwhelm is often the mix of overthinking and underacting. Notice where you might be ruminating on ideas instead of taking the small, helpful steps that build real momentum.

Why growth takes you further when you’re willing to practice simple, practical actions that make risk feel more normal and open up your possibilities.

How real growth happens each time you take your thoughts into action—it’s in those moments that you’re building freedom, authenticity, and confidence.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Practicing Growth That Takes You Further:

Notice where you’re letting risks block you from acting. Those uncomfortable feelings—fear of the unknown, negative “what ifs,” hesitation—are cues that you may be withholding permission from yourself to act. Remember that beneath your fears are your deeper core values in life that you actually want to engage with and live out. Do you see how staying in your comfort zone doesn’t always mean safety, and taking action doesn’t always mean danger?

Choose small steps to experiment with. You don’t need to commit to a huge project; instead, give yourself permission to start small. Simple, doable actions lighten your mental load, reduce stress, and help you see what’s actually possible for you.

Pick a supportive belief to guide you. When you feel stuck, notice deeper down why you're stopping yourself from taking action. What's the fear or risk you need support with? Choose a thought for yourself that feels more like what you want to believe about you and about life. Example: “I can try new things and still be safe. I can change my mind any time I need.” Supportive thoughts like these help you grow past perfectionism and into self-trust.

Let further growth build your self-trust, confidence, and joy. Each intentional step you take strengthens your creativity, courage, and sense of possibility. You’ll begin to feel more like yourself—engaged, capable, and free to live your life from the inside out.

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to act on what you already know. Trying small things out helps you get unstuck, lighten your mental load, build self-trust, and enjoy being yourself more in your everyday life.

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the quiet but powerful truths about real growth: sometimes, the best next step isn’t further—it’s deeper. Instead of chasing the next big milestone, deeper growth invites you to slow down, repeat small steps, and let change sink in beneath the surface. It’s about building confidence, wholeness, and strength at your core, not just stacking up achievements.

You’ll Hear About:

Practicing Growth That Takes You Deeper:

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to choose how you use your time and energy. Practice letting yourself choose rhythms that support depth and quality, not just speed and quantity.

YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION: