Wake Your Dream

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the most overlooked foundations of real personal growth: learning to love yourself. This episode reframes self-compassion as more than a concept that sounds good or feels good—it’s meant to become a brand new foundation of love for yourself that effectively fuels any change you hope to make. Instead of growing from a basis of self-criticism or judgment, this conversation invites you to see yourself from a new angle, soften the lens you use on yourself, and shift your focus toward how you treat yourself day to day.

You’ll Hear About:

How real self-compassion means learning to see yourself through a lens of love instead of criticism or judgment. Where you usually approach change from a pain point or a judgmental stance, notice there is another way: “God doesn’t change us in order to love us. He loves us into change.”

Seeing and identifying your own walls that come up against practicing self-compassion. Treating yourself from a starting point of kindness and love, even before you’ve made changes, might feel uncomfortable, but will be infinitely more effective.

The reasons that harsh, rigid, judgmental ways of motivating yourself can work temporarily for outcomes, but end up undermining your quality of life. And why accepting that you matter and deserve to be loved in your life is the building block for genuine change and transformation.

Tips to Practice Love That Fuels Your Growth

Hang out with yourself more in your day. Think about your day like, “I’m with myself today.” Check in more often: Did I hang out with myself, or did I leave myself behind? Did I show up only to correct myself?

Treat yourself like you’re a person who matters too. If other people are supposed to matter to you, remember—you are an “other person” to them as well, so it makes sense to practice seeing yourself as lovable, valuable, and significant!

Actually practice your relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Factor yourself into your choices. Ask: What’s my thought life like right now? How am I feeling? What am I doing and why? Pick one small way to act like you matter today. Treat yourself like you’re worth showing up for. Practice and repeat your relationship with yourself daily.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Want more on self-compassion? Listen to Wake Your Dream episode 47.

Annaliese and Alan dig into how the way you see yourself shapes the way you think, speak, and act. When you’re trying to grow, your inner picture matters. Annaliese shares a simple mindset tool called “Update Yourself,” a practice that helps you picture yourself as more capable, grounded, and empowered so real change feels possible—not overwhelming.

You’ll Hear About:

How your brain can learn a new, more confident picture of who you are and what you can do. You’re not locked into old patterns—you truly can do new things.

Why owning your choices matters. Are you supporting your growth or slipping back into old standards like perfectionism or settling? Choose a standard that actually helps you move forward.

How your body responds differently to Updated Stories versus Outdated Stories. When you celebrate who you’re becoming, you feel your growth, and that creates natural motivation fuel for more of it, inside and out.

How Updating Yourself strengthens your relationship with you. It’s a bridge from doubt to desire. Simple “updated” thoughts—like “I’m the person who gets to make change happen”—open doors that old thoughts keep shut.

How to stop assuming the worst about uncertain outcomes and start expecting what you hope to find.

Resources:

Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share what ideas and changes you want to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to make them happen!

Your Resources: time, money, attention, energy.

Tell Yourself UPDATED Stories, Not Outdated Ones:

Ask yourself: How am I different today than I have been before? What do I care about now that I didn’t before?

Notice what you’re improving on or what matters to you now. Tell yourself about the updated person you’re becoming—statements like “I’m more organized now” or “I know how to organize better.”

Remember the real goal is becoming your true self, not chasing a perfect outcome. What do you want instead of what you’ve been getting? What changes would support that?

Focus on the change you want to make. Choose a thought about yourself that helps you feel capable, satisfied, and ready to take that step.

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to make healthy, effective boundaries that actually support real life and real relationships. Instead of boundaries being a last-minute reaction to discomfort or conflict, they explore how boundaries work best when they’re intentional, value-based, and planned all the way through. Annaliese share the 3 Prongs of Building a Boundary—choose it, set it, enforce it. Learn why you need all three if you want your boundary to work for you instead of creating more tension, guilt, or frustration. Listen today to hear how creating a plan for each prong helps you stay grounded, clear, and steady while setting your boundary, no matter how others respond.

You’ll Hear About:

Why boundaries are at their best when they support your deeper values and help build a bridge that makes relationship possible—not a wall that cuts people off

How to choose a boundary by first noticing your discomfort, clarifying what you want the boundary to protect or support, and getting clear on your “why” before deciding how to communicate it

How clarifying your deeper “want,” especially in relationships, helps you understand why certain interactions feel threatening or draining, and what goal you truly want to shoot for in the relationship

Why disappointment often happens when you forget to make a plan to enforce a boundary—and why follow-through matters

Your Free Coaching Call:

Schedule your free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese to get personalized support with boundaries, communication, and self-leadership: www.linktree.com/coachannaliese

Practice:

BUILDING A BOUNDARY:

Prong 1: Choose It

Prong 2: Set It

Prong 3: Enforce It

Annaliese and Alan dive into why adversity isn’t just something to survive—it’s something that grows you. They unpack how struggle, resistance, and discomfort can actually be some of life’s most powerful teachers when you learn how to work with them instead of against them. Annaliese shares an example story from the 1990's Biosphere 2 project, where scientists discovered that trees grown in perfect, protected conditions collapsed when they reached full height. They discovered that without real wind or resistance, the trees couldn’t develop the strength or flexibility needed to stand mature, strong, and steady. The same is true for us—without the push and pull of life’s challenges, we’d miss out on the maturity, adaptability, and groundedness we need to truly thrive.

You’ll Hear About:

How adversity, though uncomfortable, invites innovation, growth, and deeper strength inside you that you wouldn’t find otherwise. It’s not the absence of struggle that leads to a good life—it’s learning to let difficulty shape you in meaningful ways.

How practicing discernment while in hard seasons helps you respond with intention instead of reactivity. You’ll hear practical ways to notice your own part in the stressful moments—where your thoughts or behaviors might be making it harder on you—and how to shift that.

Ways to open your perspective and see adversity as evidence of your worth and capability. You’ll learn to gather proof that you matter, even while things feel messy, and to reconnect with your deep truth, ideas, and values right in the middle of it all.

Practice: Letting Adversity Work For You

Picture your inner and outer posture toward what’s hard right now. Are you resisting, closing off, or withdrawing?

Take a moment and ask yourself: Am I letting this adversity show me where I can grow, or am I fighting against it?

Identify 1–2 ways to engage the challenge with openness—whether it’s applying something you’ve learned, trying a new approach, or remembering who you truly are underneath the struggle.

Annaliese and Alan talk about a particular way we experience growth: it can take us further. Annaliese shares how to recognize when your personal growth efforts might actually be keeping you stuck in your head rather than helping you feel the change you’re aiming for. This episode invites you to notice where you might be sitting in challenges instead of moving through them—and how to shift from preparing to practicing growth in real life.

You’ll Hear About:

How overwhelm is often the mix of overthinking and underacting. Notice where you might be ruminating on ideas instead of taking the small, helpful steps that build real momentum.

Why growth takes you further when you’re willing to practice simple, practical actions that make risk feel more normal and open up your possibilities.

How real growth happens each time you take your thoughts into action—it’s in those moments that you’re building freedom, authenticity, and confidence.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Practicing Growth That Takes You Further:

Notice where you’re letting risks block you from acting. Those uncomfortable feelings—fear of the unknown, negative “what ifs,” hesitation—are cues that you may be withholding permission from yourself to act. Remember that beneath your fears are your deeper core values in life that you actually want to engage with and live out. Do you see how staying in your comfort zone doesn’t always mean safety, and taking action doesn’t always mean danger?

Choose small steps to experiment with. You don’t need to commit to a huge project; instead, give yourself permission to start small. Simple, doable actions lighten your mental load, reduce stress, and help you see what’s actually possible for you.

Pick a supportive belief to guide you. When you feel stuck, notice deeper down why you're stopping yourself from taking action. What's the fear or risk you need support with? Choose a thought for yourself that feels more like what you want to believe about you and about life. Example: “I can try new things and still be safe. I can change my mind any time I need.” Supportive thoughts like these help you grow past perfectionism and into self-trust.

Let further growth build your self-trust, confidence, and joy. Each intentional step you take strengthens your creativity, courage, and sense of possibility. You’ll begin to feel more like yourself—engaged, capable, and free to live your life from the inside out.

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to act on what you already know. Trying small things out helps you get unstuck, lighten your mental load, build self-trust, and enjoy being yourself more in your everyday life.

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the quiet but powerful truths about real growth: sometimes, the best next step isn’t further—it’s deeper. Instead of chasing the next big milestone, deeper growth invites you to slow down, repeat small steps, and let change sink in beneath the surface. It’s about building confidence, wholeness, and strength at your core, not just stacking up achievements.

You’ll Hear About:

Practicing Growth That Takes You Deeper:

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to choose how you use your time and energy. Practice letting yourself choose rhythms that support depth and quality, not just speed and quantity.

YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION:

Annaliese and Alan talk about two practical tools you can use in your day to encourage yourself on your growth path. By noticing your words and noticing your body, you’ll see what’s not serving you—and discover small but powerful ways to make real change happen!

You’ll Hear About:

Notice your words. The language you use in your thoughts impacts you more than you realize. Words like “can’t,” “but,” or “should” often block growth. Try swapping “but” for “and” and notice how it changes the way you feel. Words matter, and a simple shift can open new options and show you you're in charge of your thoughts.

Notice your body. Paying attention to what you’re experiencing in the moment gets you out of autopilot. It reconnects you to yourself instead of spiraling, shutting down, or flailing when life feels overwhelming.

Your Free Coaching Call:

Practices:

Change “But” to “And” (Thought Tool):

Do It in Slow Motion (Body/Emotion Tool):

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to stay focused for the long-term when it feels hard to stick with a commitment to yourself. Annaliese explains how common it is to lose momentum when something is “just for you,” and how easy it is to deprioritize your own growth. You'll hear ways to get your focus back on track by reconnecting with your Why and treating yourself with compassion in the process.

You’ll Hear About:

Connect with your Why: Staying motivated means knowing the deeper reasons behind your goals. When you see why it matters to you in a real, tangible way, it’s easier to keep going.

Face the hard stuff: Losing focus often comes with painful self-beliefs—like thinking you don’t deserve help or you should just “figure it out.” But those hard truths can actually point you toward the exact support you need.

Growth is relational: The way you treat yourself during the ups and downs of the process shapes whether you stay focused or get distracted. Staying aware and connected with yourself and what you're going through helps you keep moving forward with steadiness and self-compassion.

Steps to Stay Focused:

Remind – When you feel distracted or off-track, root yourself again in your Why. Ask and answer for yourself: Why did I start this? Who do I want to become? What will this give me long-term? Reconnecting to your values and truth gives you back energy and purpose.

Set Intention – Build a habit of daily intentionality. Step back into the power of your own choice. Create a realistic, “slow and steady” standard for your work. Notice where things get hard, and plan ahead how to support yourself better next time instead of slipping into perfectionism or self-criticism.

Take Simple Action – Each time focus feels hard, pause before just pushing through. Presence is where your focus lives, so take an action that brings you back to it. Pick one small, supportive step based on what you can tell your body, mind, or heart needs more of in this moment—like taking a deep breath, making a task more enjoyable, or naming something for each of your five senses to bring your body/mind/spirit back into presence. 

Your Free Coaching Call:

Annaliese and Alan talk about getting caught up in the feelings of right now can sidetrack your day, and how to bring yourself back to feeling more present and giving your day another chance. Annaliese brings up practically how to face and handle the struggle throughout the day in a self-care way so your mind can work for you, not against you! Listen to learn ways to act like you do have a choice and can support yourself better, even when you don’t feel like it.

You’ll Hear About:

Noticing when your current feeling is trying to take over and tell you that it’s the whole picture of your life (it’s not!).

Seeing your feeling as a signpost—it’s pointing to you to take a second and attend to yourself, not to shut down your entire day.

How you build emotional maturity when you can sit with discomfort. It’s the difference between caring or avoiding. If you can practice sitting with your discomfort, you’ll be able to create more of that ability to attend to the mindset, self-care, and actions you want in your day.

Resources:

Experience coaching with Annaliese for yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story with Annaliese and she'll help you gain helpful tips to make real changes in your life.

Ten Percent Happier Meditation App

Practice: Defy the Lie

Stop — pause whatever you’re doing.

Turn around to face the negative feeling (no sidestepping).

Notice your feelings. It might feel terrifying, and that’s okay. You can stand in this feeling.

Listen to the thoughts—remember the power isn’t in the negative thought or feeling, but in the cycle of running from it.

Name the message: attend to the thought and grasp what you’re really experiencing.

Break the fear pattern by facing what’s actually happening before moving on with your day.

Repeat this practice each time the dragon shows up.

Short prompt: Stop. Turn. Notice. Name. Own & Repeat.

In This Episode:

You’ll Hear About:

Why feeling new and different about yourself means you need to think and act in new and different ways.

Simple questions to ask yourself: “What am I doing to treat myself like a friend?” and “What would actually help me right now?”

How kindness and self-love help you take charge of your life in more effective, life-giving ways.

Learning to trust what you already know about yourself so you can handle life without punishment or striving.

What it looks like to treat yourself like your whole self belongs in the room—struggles and all.

Radical Self-Acceptance & Thought Compassion Practices:

Name What’s Not Working: Write down thoughts, habits, or expectations you have or are (actually) living by that feel too heavy or perfectionistic. See them as a map for change you want, not as failure!

Ask the Friend Questions: “What would I say to my best friend right now?” “What would actually help me, not just my tasks?” Let these answers guide your next choices in your day.

Choose One Kinder Thought: Replace one unhelpful pressurey thought you've put on yourself with a gentler, life-giving thought. Treat it like an experiment—progress over perfection! Little, better thoughts add up to confidence and self-trust.

Practice Wholeness in the Room: Remind yourself daily: “All of me belongs here—strengths, struggles, and everything in between.” When self-punishment shows up, swap it for a loving, constructive thought.

Resources:

-Self-Compassion: The 3 Elements of Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff